Pokemon Mystery Dungeon RP
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon RP

Prepare to face a new set of challenges in this brand-new Pokemon world as you square off against new enemies and rivals, forge new friendships, and create teams to travel the world with on your quest of discovery
 
HomePortalSearchLatest imagesRegisterLog in
-Quick Links-
Starter Poké Donation | Guildmaster Requests | Admin Requests | Current Sitewide Event
Grassveil BU Requests | Aileron BU Requests


-NOTICES-
Welcome to PMD!

Event Manager Applications are open! >>Link<<
Moderator Applications are open! >>Link!<<
For site updates as they happen, join our Discord server! >>Here!<<

 

 Yooka the Kecleon

Go down 
2 posters
AuthorMessage
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
Lord E V
Lord of the Eevees
Lord E V


Posts : 3440
Poké : 9495
Join date : 2014-07-12
Location : Nibiru

Yooka the Kecleon Empty
PostSubject: Re: Yooka the Kecleon   Yooka the Kecleon EmptyMon Sep 05, 2016 3:00 am

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) SPECIES

Kecleon is not the "Chameleon Pokemon." Good guess, though. Oh, and the character's type (in this case, Normal) is not a part of their species.

2.) ENERGY

Got your math a bit wrong. Try again.

3.) MOVES

As of OR/AS, Kecleon does not learn Synchronoise at level 1.

4.) NATURAL FEATS

Do not include any additional information that is not directly stated in Pokedex entries from the games. You currently have a lot of assumptions pertaining to the feats you've listed, such as your claim that Kecleon changes colors when hit by moves. Add a feat for Kecleon's noteworthy tongue. Last but not least, separate the feats so that they are more easily distinguishable; they are currently very jumbled up.

5.) PERSONALITY

This personality makes very little sense. Yooka gets nervous around those with "elemental properties?" Every Pokemon has elemental properties. Every. Single. One. Coming from a kecleon, this is particularly nonsensical, as they can change to every type and can learn many elemental moves. How does an inquisitive and presumably intelligent philosopher manage to get it in her head that all Psychic-types are to blame for the acts of one? Currently, Yooka is not a calm and inquisitive philosopher; she's an idiot and a nervous wreck.

6.) LIKES

"She'll find the solution" is a rather matter-of-fact statement, implying that your character has the ability to solve anything, no matter how complicated. This would be unacceptable, so change the wording to say something more along the lines of "She's likely to find the solution." And again with the thing about "elemental Pokemon." ALL Pokemon are elemental to some extent; kecleon is arguably one of the most well-known for being elemental, so it makes no sense for your character to find such common traits to be so very interesting and odd, and it makes even less sense that she isn't equally interested in herself.

7.) HISTORY

I will ignore minor issues with the history for now in favor of the major problem: intentional withholding of information. Regardless of what your reasoning is, it is absolutely unacceptable to withhold any information on your character's backstory. It doesn't matter if you're concerned with "spoiling" or if you simply don't think it's worth mentioning. Explain everything, not just your character's perspective on things.

8.) BACKPACK

The backpack you've described has quite a complex design. You will need to talk to an admin about whether or not this is acceptable for a character to start with.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.
Back to top Go down
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
Lord E V
Lord of the Eevees
Lord E V


Posts : 3440
Poké : 9495
Join date : 2014-07-12
Location : Nibiru

Yooka the Kecleon Empty
PostSubject: Re: Yooka the Kecleon   Yooka the Kecleon EmptyThu Sep 08, 2016 7:09 am

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) NATURAL FEATS

Your feat for the tongue includes some information not supported by Pokédex entries.  Use the feat however you see fit as long as it makes sense, but don't list anything in the feats section unless it is explicitly stated by an official source.

2.) PERSONALITY

Avoid matter-of-fact statements pertaining to how others view your character, such as "she gets hated by others" and " she becomes gleeful, which makes others think she's wierd."  Word things like this in more of way that suggests someone MAY feel this way toward her, rather than stating that they WILL feel this way.  For instance, rather than saying "No one likes her," instead say "Someone may dislike her."

3.) HISTORY

"on the day they were planning to escape, they were caught by the Meowstics but was given each a smile and an armband or headband with a logo of a planet with blue unown spelling KIN, and on the opposite side were their names. They didn't know what they were for but they all promised each other to wear it, as a reminder."

What?  So they tried to escape and were caught by Hitler and Female Hitler.  Then the Hitler duo just... gave them armbands and released them?  That makes absolutely no sense.  NOTHING about that makes any sense at all.  You're going to need to elaborate, and while you're at it, try to improve your grammar.  It is currently extremely unclear what's going on here due to a combination of a lack of information and poor grammar. In fact, this entire history is a bit lacking in the "logic" department.

Aside from that, there's also the question of Yooka's parents.  Who were they and why did they give her to the Hitler club?

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.
Back to top Go down
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
Lord E V
Lord of the Eevees
Lord E V


Posts : 3440
Poké : 9495
Join date : 2014-07-12
Location : Nibiru

Yooka the Kecleon Empty
PostSubject: Re: Yooka the Kecleon   Yooka the Kecleon EmptyTue Sep 13, 2016 10:09 pm

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) NATURAL FEATS

You can't use the anime as a reference.  That doesn't mean you get to scrap feats that are supported within Pokédex entries from the games.  I already told you to simply leave out any information not directly stated in the games.  So, put the tongue feat back, and don't add in any unnecessary information that isn't officially stated.  If you're having trouble with this, just copy and paste a Pokédex entry.

2.) HISTORY

Pokémon have been shown in the games, manga, and even the anime to be capable of mentally functioning on a relatively normal level virtually from birth.  In other words, they seem perfectly capable of recalling memories from early childhood, so you'll need a bit of a better explanation for why your character doesn't remember her mother.  I'd suggest either lowering the amount of time before her mother's disappearance so that Yooka just doesn't have much memory of her in the first place, or having something happen to Yooka to affect her memory.  While you're at it, also explain how and why her mother disappeared.  What happened?


Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.
Back to top Go down
The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message
Lord E V
Lord of the Eevees
Lord E V


Posts : 3440
Poké : 9495
Join date : 2014-07-12
Location : Nibiru

Yooka the Kecleon Empty
PostSubject: Re: Yooka the Kecleon   Yooka the Kecleon EmptyFri Sep 16, 2016 8:10 am

Character has been approved!

Yooka the Kecleon Tumblr_m8do7xrJIG1qf8btso1_400


Please head over HERE to create your Character Records.  Once you've completed that, go have fun and roleplay!
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Yooka the Kecleon Empty
PostSubject: Re: Yooka the Kecleon   Yooka the Kecleon Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Yooka the Kecleon
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Readopting Yooka the Kecleon
» Guildmaster Requests
» Kecleon needs friends
» (Up for Adoption) Mondel the Kecleon
» Yooka's records

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon RP :: Character Creation :: Character Applications :: Approved Characters :: Archived Characters-
Jump to: