"Life" the PARODY

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(This is an absolute PARODY of "life", Only people in "life" rp can enter and there is no posting order. This rp is purely for the sake of doing a bunch of hilarious things...)

Nick suddenly woke to find himself in area, it was green and dark. A few feet away from him he saw a green shape, with a round and green shape not far off from it. He wondered where he was, he looked at his claw hand and tried to use it's electricity to make some kind of light, he only made a meager spark that was similar to a flashlight's light. he shined the light onto the green shape to find a strange green decapitated creature. It came to him, this was one of those insanely old children's programs called Tellitubbies. He wondered why it was so violent though, were video games for kids this dark? He sat up, not really phased by the view since it was just a AI and not a real person.

Kat was still around, but she was hidden. She purred, "You'd be better off without him wouldn't you? He's just an annoyance, why not rid yourself of the annoyance? Every Man for themselves as they say."

Nick thanked Steve and took the sword, he could only hold it with one hand though. He couldn't take the gauntlet off of him since he hadn't put that option onto his original character. He held onto it with his left hand, when he was right handed. He still held a slight grudge against Steve for destroying his only weapon, but he let it pass. Steve had no other option, it wasn't Steve's fault it was his.

Steve turned, with a grim look on his face. He looked straight at Nick, but his eyes were not his own, they had a blue tint to them. He looked zombified, unable to control his body. He pulled out his sword and lifted it up, preparing to swing down at Nick.

"What's going on!?" Steve felt as though his spirit had left his body. He could see the things that were happening, but he couldn't control his body. As he mercilessly swung at Nick, his only thought was, "I'm sorry...it's not me..."

Lydia saw almost in slow motion as the pixelated guy who she just healed attempted to kill Nick. The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about it. "Minion, stage two!" She yelled and instead of a glow coming from her shield/staff, a glow came from herself, and a white, yet tinted blue fuzzy thing with wings appeared. It was around the size of a hand, and it flew determinedly towards Steve and attempted to hit his hand away. Although she was weak, she still ran towards the two and the shield transformed into a spear, clashing against the sword.

Steve watched in horror as his body did thing that he didn't mean to, he yelled and pushed with his mind as hard as he could. He and his body fell over, unconscious. In his dreams, he heart Kat's voice whispering to him, telling him to kill Nick. "So, it was you!" without a weapon, he attempted to punch her.

Stop standing like a nincompoop ===>

Okay. Auron does a LITTLE JIG.

No... Go, help Nickelback and Mr. X ===>

How?

FIGHT THE DAMN MONSTER ===>

Where?

LYDIA!!! ===>

This dude was totally just messing with you. He knew what you were talking about. So gullible. Everyone falls for the antics of SEXI WAIFU.

Please? We want to see action? ===>

Fine. Auron walks through some BUSHES only to find Steve and some... other... player? Odd. But maybe it was friendl-WOAH HOLY FREAKING SHAMROCKS STEVE IF PUNCHING IT WITH HIS FIST!11!!1!!1!!!!11!!1!1!!!!!1!!11!

Auron leaps in the air, slamming the round sides of the chakrams into the fist of Steve and the other in Lydia's sword.

TALK TO THEM ===>

"Jeeze, can't go ONE MINUTE without having to stop some fight can I? Look, Steve, lay off, and you, owner of the LIVING COTTON BALL, what is your quarrel with Steve?" Auron spins his chakram as to try and knock the weapon out of Lydia's hand, "And more importantly, user or NCP?"

Steve held his head in confusion, this had to be a dream..right? All around him, all he heard was that voice, that persuading voice. Telling him to kill everyone, everyone around him was the enemy... When he woke up, he saw Auron blocking his fist with his chakram, had he been...about to punch someone? Pain flashed in his head, "HE IS THE ENEMY, KILL HIM!!" This time it wasn't Kat's voice, it was his own. His eyes turned red, his body started to steam, and he grew angry. His vision changed, in Auron's place, there was a monster, grusom, and mangled. He turned and saw everyone else, he couldn't see them, all he saw were...his enemies. He pulled out his sword and slashed at the monster that was once Auron, aiming to kill.

DEFEND YOURSELF SEXY WAIFU ===>

That's not his name. besides he was going to anyway he isn't stupid

Auron Moves the chakram in his one hand facing to block the sword. Then he proceeds to Jump, propel himself off the head of Lydia, and back-flip behind Steve. Now he was no longer in the middle and behind Steve, this would be a little safer... He hooked the sword in one of the loops of the chakram, then launched the one chakram sending it flying about 10 feet, then Auron called the chakram back to him. Finally he did a sort of lunge kick pegging Steve to the ground. Finally he dropped to a knee over Steve, using the blunt sides of the chakrams to keep him from punching immediately.

Now tell him to use his inside voice ===>

What? No.

Examine the pumpkin ===>

What pumpkin?

Talk to Senor Blockhead ===>

"What's your problem?!"

Close enough ===>

That wasn't a command

Stop being SEXI WAIFU ===>

Wait, what I wasn't done ye-

Steve had expected the monster to counter, so before he fell to the ground, he pushed himself against it and shot straight into the air, grabbing his sword. He pulled out his bow and shot multiple arrows at them before landing on a tree branch. He quickly crafted some TNT with the gunpowder he had on him, lit them, and threw them at the monster. "Take that, jerk!" in reality, it came out as, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!"

CUT THAT BEACH ==>

Auron combined the two chakrams into a flame sword. With this he tried to cast Ragnarok, his spell of blindingly strong fire... Instead the blade turned white, and seven feet long... But still no weight. Awesome! He sliced the TNT midair, then did a high jump off them, being propelled even higher by the explosion, he began falling from a massive height.

He spun his sword midair, kicked it so it was propelling itself, blowing the arrows away, and then did a dive for his blade and slammed it into the ground. From it was a large explosion of fire. He split the two blades into chakrams, and the Ragnarok was released, the energy building up all that time. The result was a condensed flash of fire and light, condensed in a bubble around Auron, and radiating heat outwards. After the flare ended Auron fell to the ground.

SOME SPELLS JUST TAKE IT OUT OF YOU DON'T THEY ===>

He isn't conscience...

GET UP WAIFUUUUUUU ===>

He can't... Wild Auron fainted.

MAKE ME A SANVICH ===>

What part of "isn't conscience" doesn't make sense to you? Ugh, some people.

Steve popped his head out of the ground. When the monster had jumped up, avoiding his TNT, he had dug a hole to escape the next attack. When he came back up, it looked like the area was destroyed by the monster, but he had used all of his energy. Steve walked up to it and grabbed it by the hair, picking it up with incredible strength. "You thought you could kill me, huh? Big mistake." His sword flashed as the blade stabbed the monster through the stomach. He dropped the body, and walked out, still hearing the voices. He screamed, and fell over, holding his head. His mind was being shattered, and there was nothing he could do. He fought against it with all his strength. His eyes flashed bloodred once more, then faded back to normal. His body stopped steaming, and he fell to the ground, unconcious.

Lydia felt the sting as the spear was knocked out of her hands. "I didn't want to it's bec-" Oh well it seems like he found out himself. Running towards where her spear lay, she quickly grabbed it up and mumbled, "User." in response to the Sexi Waifu man's question, and turned back. Right as she was about to speak again, Lydia felt heat hit her face, almost knocking her backwards. Right as the fire faded she saw as the man fall to the ground. Great just great. Releasing the minion from it's duty she suddenly remembered something. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a white rose and counted it's petals.

One, two, three, four....oh no She had only four more hits left or she died. Quickly Lydia stuffed the rose back into her pocket, and then the spear reverted into a staff, "Heal, stage three." It was risky due to the fact she used so much magic already, but she quickly attempted to bring Auron from an uncritical state, and before she found out if it worked, Lydia fell down exhausted.

AWAKE WAIFU! ===>

Auron awoke, standing he was healed. So she is good... guess I better help her then... He gave Steve a powerful clunk on the head to make sure he wouldn't awake, then threw the two over his shoulder. "DAMN you two are heavy!" He lugged them below a tree. Then he took the chackram, slipped Steve's arms into the holes, then bolted his arms, and with the other his legs, and bolted him into the ground.

"Great... Now I don't have any weapons."

TAKE THE DIAMOND SWORD ===>

That makes sense... Auron retrieves the DIAMOND SWORD.

NOW EAT CAKE ===>

But the cake is a lie. Now Auron is sad, look, he's just sitting down next to the two fainted people silent. Good going.

Steve woke up, his arms and legs bound by...was that Auron's chakrams? He looked around, he didn't seem to be under the spell anymore. He tried to locate his sword, and saw it in Auron's hands. "GIVE ME MY SWORD, YOU MOTHER F*CKER!!!!!" He ripped off the chakrams, picked up Auron by the throat, took the sword, and dropped him. "Never....EVER....take my sword." he then noticed that Auron had a huge scar on his perfect abbs. He back away quickly, "D-did I....do that?" He looked at his blade, there was dried blood on it. Steve ran off, not thinking where he was going.

Kat smirked at the chaos she had caused, she looked to Nick, who had dropped to the ground like a puppet, and whispered, "Wake..." She watched as he jerked and stood up groggily. She cackled as she watched him move forward like a robot. In this realm, she was God. God was bored, she wanted some fun! She focused on the boy's hand and his claw had seemed to materialized back into existence. "Point..." She hissed with glee. The boy raised his clawed hand to the back of Lydia. "Shoot, Zap!" she ordered.

Nick was in emptiness. He head the commands "Shoot, Zap!" and finally woke to find himself aiming his weapon at Lydia. He yelled in surprise and dragged his hand down. He swore he heard a hiss of annoyance coming from a little ways away. He looked back to the scene before him, "What's going on!?"

Steve heard a familiar voice, the sound of persuasion. He quickly turned around, fire was literally all around him and he walked over to where Nick was. "KAT!!" he yelled as he launched a fireball in the direction of the intolerable cat, using all of his rage to fuel the attack. He continued to fire, until there was no more forest in front of him for 50 miles. "Huff...huff..." he took a knee and regained his energy. "N-nick...don't listen to her...she's trying to mess with you...this is all...a game.." He put all of his force into those words, trying to force Nick out of the spell.