"Life" the PARODY

(This is an absolute PARODY of "life", Only people in "life" rp can enter and there is no posting order. This rp is purely for the sake of doing a bunch of hilarious things...)

Nick suddenly woke to find himself in area, it was green and dark. A few feet away from him he saw a green shape, with a round and green shape not far off from it. He wondered where he was, he looked at his claw hand and tried to use it's electricity to make some kind of light, he only made a meager spark that was similar to a flashlight's light. he shined the light onto the green shape to find a strange green decapitated creature. It came to him, this was one of those insanely old children's programs called Tellitubbies. He wondered why it was so violent though, were video games for kids this dark? He sat up, not really phased by the view since it was just a AI and not a real person.

Alicia had awoken much earlier. About an hour, possibly due to the glitch and how she refused to stop messing with the NPCs. She couldn't see anything! Was this another dark level? She used her Butterfly Dodge for a short distance, causing the glowing butterfly-like mist to appear and give light for a short period of time. It seemed she was in a forest. She grinned, being reminded of the hunting level she had before all of this glitch nonsense had occurred. Her Cheshire Blade cackled, transforming into an Axe. With an eerie echo, it gave a riddle:


And with that, the axe silenced. Alicia giggled, liking the riddle. She always liked her weapon's riddles, but they always made no sense. Watch for the Faceless? Colorful? Underdogs? She guessed those were her enemies, or a few descriptions of them. She twirled her weapon in her hand, before using her other hand to guide herself through the dark forest. She hummed a little to herself, hoping to battle with these odd opponents soon.

Nick shined his flash-hand around, confused. Why was he here? His light fell upon a truck. He walked up to it and picked up the page, he read it out loud:
He shivered, almost as if something had begun. His light shined around a bit more as he walked on, and it fell upon a small girl, Alicia. He wondered what the little girl was doing here and approached her, "Yo...What are you doing here?" he asked.

A boy sits in a field wearing his ZELDA THEMED SHIRT and SUPERMAN BASED PJ-PANTS. In his hand TWO SPINNING THINGS that seem to have the powers of PYROMANCY. He has a unique interest in ANCIENT GAMING HISTORY and has a passion for programming, especially recycling rediculously low res sprites like the ones from SKYWARD SWORD, an obscure Zelda game nobody remembers, like Chess and Monopoly.

This happens to be his 17th birthday, so the game automatically gave him a SUPER SPECIAL CONE-A-CAP. This unique item serves the sole purpose of HAVING FUN with the exception of unicorn experts, who use it to STUDY THE NATURAL LIFE OF UNICORNS. You have no interest whatsoever in the latter. What is this young man's name?

Input Name ===>

You type in "SEXI WAIFU" This will not due, as much as he enjoys the endearment it is somehow HIGHLY INSULTING to patronize him.

Try New Name ===>

You input "Auron Takeru" Good. You typed in a BA name for a BA dude.

This BA dude seems to have lost his arms, perhaps it would be best to retrieve them so he han use the chakrams!

Examine Pumpkin ===>

What pumpkin?

Lucky for you AURON TAKERU had his arms this whole time, and just cut off the head of an UNSUSPECTING DARK GREEN ALIEN. Behind this alien is something else. No, someone else. It just happened this person was Nick, another life form sucked into the game of Life. This all seems like an IRONIC METAPHOR ABOUT BIRTH to you. But it's NOT!

Confront Nickeback ===>

No, his name is Nick, smart one!

Confront Nickelback ===>

Fine, at least you spelled it right that time. AURON approaches NICK.

Stop mimicking Homestuck damnit!

What, no arrow that time? Vulpes quits with his shenanigans, whoever that is.

Lydia blinked she awoke in the darkness glaring down at her. Sighing she pushed herself up, but overshot due to the fact that she was shorter than usual. "Omfffh." She mumbled as she landed facefirst into the dirt, and spent a few minutes spitting out the dark earth from her mouth. Finally when the last trace of mud was gone from her mouth, she looked up again. There was a plain...green(?) landscape with something green in the distance but she ignored it. Looking around she noticed two, admit dim lights and since she was such a new person at gaming, forgot the first rule of gaming. "Dont go towards the light." Walking closer stumbling occasionally due to her unnatural height she saw two boys and a girl. "Hello." She mumbled cautiously holding out her TST (which was currently a spear) in front of her protectively.

Alicia turned around, spotting a light being pointed towards her.She was then greeted by new meat a boy who seemed to have a weird arm. Nick, she could remember him. She hid her axe behind her, putting on a facade of innocence as usual. After all, a hunter shouldn't frighten the hunted. That, and she really wanted to steal his arm. She smiled, looking as chipper as she always had. "Hi there Nick! Fancy seeing you again! And, I have no idea. Must've been another glitch~" She said in a sing-song voice.

She stopped, seeing another person approach Nick. It seemed to be another boy, who seemed to have an awesomesauce jacket an impressive weapon. Another target. She looked over, smiling again. "Hi there! And who might you be?" He seemed familiar, actually. But she couldn't seem to jog her memory. It was then another person joined their little group, a girl. Who looked awfully like one of her violent animes. More blood for the blood god

Nick sighed, Alicia was being her creepy self, as usual. He decided to deal with it, better to have a psychotic girl with an axe as an ally than an enemy. He shined his flash-hand around in search of anything, "I found a weird paper-and what the heck is that?" he shined his light on a flashy figure in the woods.
"OOOOOOOOHHHH MY GOD! Who is that man in the FABULOUS Jacket! Let me see it! Let me see it! Oh my lord, you two over there are just terrible, I like where you're going with the goggles Flashlight, and Little Girl over there could use a few touch ups! Come hither! Please! I wannaa heeeeeeelllllp!" the shape in the woods chimed.

Steve (He preferred to be called "Steve" instead of "SteveX") opened his eyes again, seeing that the other wierdos had woken up. "Man, one of them has a crazy self-aware weapon, another has a shocking arm...what the hell is this? I can't still be in the game...could I?" He poked his head out of the hidey-hole he had dug out, and called to the others. Apparently, they were busy with something else. He lit one of his torches and walked over to where the strange people were standing.

Alicia stopped, unable to reply as an excruciatingly flamboyant voice erupted from nowhere. She followed as Nick flashed a light towards an odd, tall figure in the woods. Her teeth grit, her hand tightening around her axe. Who dared to call her little?! She was going to KILL that person! In fact, she was going to right now. The girl clad in scarlet burst into a mist of glow, moving with frightening speed towards the source of the voice. Once close enough, she burst back into shape, her axe ready for a swing. She stopped, not believing the sight in front of her.

A tall being, towering over her with a good few feet. It was clad in a rather endearing combination of clothes, a hand under its chin as it seemed to be staring down at her. It didn't have a face, but seemed to be able to talk for some reason. "Weeell, I was asking for that fabulous jacketboy, but I guess I won't mind fixing you up first, deary!" And out from nowhere, the shadows attacked. The dark tendrils grabbing at the girl, only to be eluded at the last second as she burst into another mist. The stranger gave a 'tsk!' noise, before continuing its attempts at grabbing the girl. "Now stop running! Those clothes CLASH and are covered in Ewwww. They don't match your eyes, hun!"

Steve looked in such shock, and quickly crafted an idea in his head. "If that girl is distracting him or...her..or...it...whatever, then I can sneak up from behind!" he whispered to himself. He pulled out his sword and snuck up on the thing, careful to avert his eyes, if this was anything like an Enderman, he didn't want it coming after him. He ran up when he was within striking distance and stabbed the thing in the head, the figure disappeared, and an Achievement popped up, reading, "Not Finished Yet..." He only figured out the meaning seconds before he was covered in shadow, unable to move or breathe.

===>

Auron approaches the strange man who likes his jacket.

CHATLOG:

Quote :

auronTakeru began pestering nickelBack at ?:??PM
AT: Uhh, it's a nice jacket, I guess...
AT: And what's with the little girl
AT: Why does she have an axe
AT: You DON'T give children axes
AT: Why am I even telling you this, this is just a video game...
auronTakeru ceased pestering nickelBack at ?:??AM

Show me your pants boy ===>

You can already see them...

Give me a closer look ===>

Auron abjures this insufferable command

Please? ===>

Well... when you ask so nicely...

AURON dawns the SUPERMAN PJ PANTS with honor as he steps his right leg on a rock and raises his CHAKRAMS in the BLADE FORM.

Now give me your jacket, SEXI WAIFU ===>

I Thought we established this isn't his name?

Besides, he spent 50 dollars on his AWESOME JACKET that MAKES EVERYONE JELLY. And where is that voice even coming from? How can Auron give his jacket to a voice that might not even be there?

Cease being Auron ===>

About time...

Nick watched as Alicia battled the demon. He sighed, "Welp, i'm going this way. She'll probably be fine on her own..." he turned his flash-hand to the bushes behind them, which had began to shake. He held his breath as he watched the suddenly still bushes, hearing each breath he took and the voice of the strange figure in the woods that battles Alicia. He swallowed, and almost as if on cue, a giant blue shape roared and leaped out of the bushed and towards him. He rolled away just in time as the blue shape shot past him. The shape stalked around until it faced Nick. It gave a hiss and a spat, Nick was frozen in fear, this, whatever it was, was huge, it was bigger than him. The blue figure had insanely long whiskers and retractable claws. It gave a screech and launched itself at him once more, missing though as he ducked. The creature turned and hissed again before leaping into the cover of the trees and bushes, no telling if it was still there or not.

Alicia continued swinging, unable to do much as she fought off the tall being's evil tendrils. She looked over, seeing her 'allies' being much too preoccupied with their own shenanigans to fight with her. Rolling her eyes, she decided she'd have to take this to her own hands. It always has to be the psychopath to do everything, huh? She watched as the being suddenly disappear, having a familiar minecraft-esque character stab through its head. Sad to say, said minecraft character failed and got sucked into the shadows. It seemed it couldn't be defeated with regular methods.

The tall being appeared in front of Auron, squealing. "Ohmigosh I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR OUTFIT! APPROVED!" And with that, it gave the boy a single sheet of paper, one that seemed to have a few scribbles on it. "Right~ Well, now you've got 7 pages left to go~!" It said, before turning its attention back to the others. It gave a hmph! as it crossed its arms, clearly displeased. "But YOU guys and gals on the other hand, need a TOUCH UP before you can leave~!"

Lydia took a step back and watched as the pedo slenderman told them that they needed a TOUCH UP before they went. This slightly made the guy seem like a pedo due to the fact that he kept emphasizing the TOUCH UP part really loudly, but even with this thought she absentmindedly put her hand up to reattach her wing clip which seemed to have fallen off when she fell down. The other girl was trying to kill the being, a boy was unconcious, another boy apparently had a amazing outfit (but she couldn't care less...what she was raised in a poor family!) and a guy who seemed slightly pixalated. "Um...so what's going on?" she assumed it was a glitch but she wanted to be positively sure. Wielding the spear just in case.

A red figure hid in the bushes watching the tall figure talk about something. The figure was completely furry and pretty much would have stuck out as much as a giant loon in a pond of ducks, and he muttered. "Elmoman wants to have some fun too!"

Steve got up quickly, the shadows seemed to have left and gone somewhere else. "Damn, what's the matter, am I not good enough for you to ki- HACK!" he started coughing up shadows. He pulled out a golden apple from his back pocket and munched on it, almost instantly feeling better. He got up, holding his left arm in pain, it seemed broken. He heard the words TOUCH UP and cringed inside. He hated being touched up. His sister tried to do it all the time, and he absolutely HATED it. He brandished his sword with his right hand, but quickly fell from the pain in his left arm. "D-damn it...if only...if only I was stronger..."