"Life" the PARODY

First topic message reminder :

(This is an absolute PARODY of "life", Only people in "life" rp can enter and there is no posting order. This rp is purely for the sake of doing a bunch of hilarious things...)

Nick suddenly woke to find himself in area, it was green and dark. A few feet away from him he saw a green shape, with a round and green shape not far off from it. He wondered where he was, he looked at his claw hand and tried to use it's electricity to make some kind of light, he only made a meager spark that was similar to a flashlight's light. he shined the light onto the green shape to find a strange green decapitated creature. It came to him, this was one of those insanely old children's programs called Tellitubbies. He wondered why it was so violent though, were video games for kids this dark? He sat up, not really phased by the view since it was just a AI and not a real person.

Lydia watched as the boy who was pixelated seemed to be in complete pain so she decided to take a chance. The girl muttered, "Staff." and instantly the spear warped into a staff, which she then directed at Steve and a soft light glowed on her staff, "Heal, stage one." immediately the arm seemed to mend and it looked as good as new within a few seconds. She felt drained, so she finally mumbled, "Sheild." and the staff complied turning itself into a shield which she held awkwardly. She was tired from healing the boy and using up the magic but she could manage. Carefully she put one hand in her pocket and touched a rose.

BE MORE SEXI ===>

Auron? Is that even possible? He'll try.

Auron took the paper from the tall being, and said in a deep voice, his hair flowing in the air, he licks the tip of the dry pen, draws it across the paper, and as the moisture passes his pen flows across the paper like a midnight steam pouring into a moon pool. He gave a smile, the sun set and the full moon came up just to glisten majestically off his teeth. He then-

TOO MUCH SEXI STOP BEFORE YOU BREAK THE GAME! ===>

Fine... you were the one who asked for it. Auron lets the papers float away in the silver midnight breeze while-

STOP! ===>

But-

NO! ===>

Fine. Every party needs a pooper that's why we invited you.

Now help them fight? ===>

Wait? A fight? Finally something to have some fun with! SEXI WAIFU threw the chakrams with a pirouette into the wind, his flowing hair glistening in the fire of the racing chakrams. The sparks reflected off of his golden skin and the chakrams slammed into Elmoman.

Elmoman snatched the chakrams, though SEXI WAIFU called upon the chakrams and did a jump-roll and caught them, landing on his feet and doing a high jump to slam them into Elmoman from above.

Fight without being so sexy ===>

Imposibru!

Steve got up, feeling rested and awake. "How....did my arm heal so fast?" He glanced over at a girl that looked weakened, carrying a shield. She must have done it. He walked over to her to thank her, when a man who was trying a bit too hard to be sexy ran by him, throwing chakrams like a madman. "Dude, what are you even...whoa." He saw the man smash a red creature that looked similar to Elmo. He pulled out his bow and nocked an arrow, waiting for a moment to strike.

Elmoman watches as the man attacked him. He stepped out, "YOU SHOULDN'T FIGHT WITH BLADES, FIGHT WITH WORDS." somehow though he spoke with no face, and was just a fuzzy little thing. But the person didn't seem to listen, and sliced his head off. Rainbows of friendship splurted everywhere from the spot where the head used to be and a deeper sexier than Auron voice appeared saying, "YOU FOOL NOW I AM THE HEADLESS ELMOMAN!"

The things in his hands. Those are like Auron's chakrams.

Spoiler:

Auron's chakram fusion sword thing

Spoiler:

Finish him! ===>

The blades crashed into the shoulders of Elmoman, and Auron came shortly after, landing his boots between the spikes on the chakrams. Then balancing on the chakrams, how buried in Elmoman's shoulders, then jumping one chakram melted into fire and became the blade to the other. With this he decapitated Elmoman (or at least cut the remainder of his neck off), drop kicked his head neck as it fell, and cut the remaining body in two.

Graphic much? ===>

"My parents never loved me."

Uh... er... okay ===>

"Yeah it better be okay or you'll end up like fat, fuzzy and fried over there."

Do something about headless ===>

Ask nicely.

Nicely? Who is this? ===>

Never mind... Auron's blade shrunk into a blue inferno that was hotter than an acetylene torch, and with it made a nice hole in the top and back of Elmoman's head, making a nice Elmo-O-Lantern. Fun for festivities and traumatizing your little brats!

I asked who/-----------------------------------
-------------------------------/nicely was? ===>

Auron doesn't have time for this. Look, he even sliced the text box. He doesn't have time to talk to you while he could be maintaining his sexi powers!

Nick watched as the fighting continued while he sat on the floor, he had suddenly passed out for an odd reason. He sighed, watching the violence go on. He was practically useless right now, all he could do was grapple around and produce a small light and spark of electricity. He wondered just what was up with this world...he was suddenly grabbed by a black tentacle by the foot. He dug his claw and hand into the ground with yell as he was dragged into the bushes. He was soon lifted in the air to face a faceless being with no eyes and a white face. It seemed to be wearing a tux. It opened it's mouth which looked like it was incapable of opening and revealed rows of teeth and a disgusting tongue. Nick screamed and used his Claw to grab the monster's face he tried to hurl it away from him, but the monster's tentacled grabbed his claw's chains and dragged him with it. They were tossed all the way back to the group.

They landed in the middle, Nick scrambling to get away as the tall thin creature stood. The monster that had attacked Nick earlier made a reappearance, and circled around the man's legs and seemed to be purring, "I hope you're all enjoying my fun!" the beast purred as the man remained silent, studying the scene before him.

(RANDOM FIGHTS FTW BECAUSE SLENDY IS HERE!?)

Steve looked around at the scene, the man in the cool jacket was busy killing Elmo, for some reason. The girl with the crazy weapon was talking to that gay slenderman looking character... The girl who had healed him was looking a bit better, probably just spell sickness. But that guy with the electricity... Steve looked over at where he had once been standing and saw him suspended by someone who looked like the ACTUAL slenderman! "Gah...what is up with this place?!" his eyes turned a bit staticy as he lifted his sword and ran at Slendy, hoping to at least distract him enough so the electric guy could escape. He jumped into the air and aimed himself at Slendy when he fell, his sword pointing downwards.

Slenderman turned towards the boy that ran towards him, he didn't move, confident that he could take care of the boy easily. A tentacle appeared from behind him and rushed towards the boy, threatening to wrap around his neck and lift him into the air.

Nick panicked as he was upside down, dangling high in the air. He tried to aim his claw at the slenderman, but the tentacles moved too much which made him sway back and forth. He couldn't get a good aim. He growled in frustration, trying his best to ignore the headache he was receiving, threatening to make him pass out. He then had an idea, he used the swaying momentum and swung himself to the tentacle that held him. He grabbed onto it with his claw and sent an electric shock through the tentacle. There was a terrible scream emitting from the slenderman as he dropped Nick. Nick rolled away and tried to aim again, this time using the claw part in trying to pierce the man. He was interrupted by the big blue cat like beast. She yowled and batted him with a huge paw, sending him flying into a tree where she jumped up after him.

Steve smirked, he knew that ol' Slendy would go for the offensive. He quickly ducked the tentacle and sliced it off, then saw that Slendy had gotten shocked by the electric guy. "Here's my chance!" while he was distracted, Steve pulled out his flint n' steel, ran up to Slendy, and lit him on fire. He placed his last TNT block next to him, and set it off, grabbing the electric man out of the air as he got hit by something, and ran like hell.

There was a explosion and a horrible scream once again. The cat like beast stared off in the direction of the scream, "This isn't over" she hissed before running towards the explosion. She rushed through the bushes and around the trees to find a large crater. She stared at it a bit, intensely. Soon a shadow pooled around the bottom, and Slenderman emerged from it, healthy and well once more. She smirked and ordered, "Get the others..."

Nick was still on an adrenaline rush and panicked when he found himself being suddenly grabbed. He sent a shock through his attacker's body by accident but instantly cut it off when he realized it was Steve, "Sorry! Thanks though..."

Steve kept running, over to where Alicia and Auron were, when he suddenly got shocked and stumbled a bit. "Ouch! What the he- oh, you didn't know it was me?" he shook off the paralyzation and helped Nick stand. He looked back and saw a blue...cat..thing...running at them, with Slendy looking from afar. "I have an idea, but it might be a little crazy" he pulled out 14 pieces of obsidian and his flint n' steel. "I need you to distract that cat, and try to get Slendy to com over here." he placed four obsidian down in a row, then started to build up until he had a full rectangle, four across, and five up. He took out his flint n' steel, and lit the base. A purple light emitted from the middle of the rectangle, and distant screams could be heard.Steve shivered, no one deserved a fate such as to be lost in that world, but he had no other choice.

Nick swallowed and nodded, glad that at least someone had a plan that didn't involve mindlessly attacking. He shot his claw at the cat and managed to grab half of her face. He tossed her about with difficulty, she was surprisingly light though, as she howled in rage. She finally dug her claws into the bark of a tree and grabbed the chain, yanking on it. Nick was forced forwards because of his hold on it and fell over. The cat, now named Kat, leaped into the air and let gravity take control, as she fell and just barely missed snapping his spine in two. He had rolled away at just the right time.

Slenderman took an interest in the portal, and chuckled in amusement. He spoke, "What are you going to do? Fascinate me with your building sk-" he had reached his tentacle out to touch the portal in sarcasm, which made him be instantly sucked in.

Steve blinked, "Did he just...?" Slendy had just doomed himself. He regained his thoughts and quickly smashed part of the portal, destroying it, and hopefully trapping him there. He heard a scream, then cracking wood. He turned around and saw Nick being swung around by Kat, screaming for help. "Nick, can't you do anything right?!" He yelled and bounded after them, he jumped up and cut the chain connecting the two with his sword, and landed behind Kat. "Psst, behind you." he moved out of the way, expecting her to turn, and stabbed at one of her eyes.

Kat wasn't falling for it. She could almost hear the blade whistle as it came for her. She leaped forward instead of turning around. She disappeared in the trees, he shape lurking about as she circled the two from a distance. She chuckled and spoke, "Steve, Why do you put up with this? He's obviously useless. You should just spare him the misery and kill him now!"

"Well it's not like I can just pull things from my pocket like i'm freaking Mary Poppins!" Nick called out. He heard the sound of rapid clinking and turned to look at his hand, that chain had been cut and was rapidly retracting. He swallowed, without the claw there was no way for it to balance itself out and land in the socket correctly. He was whipped by the chain with a cry. He was beginning to grow tired of being useless, but now, without his claw, he couldn't do ANYTHING, except run, scream, cry, and other manly things.

Steve yanked his sword out of the tree he had stabbed instead of Kat. He turned and glared at Nick, Did you just call me Mary Poppins?" he decided to put off that comment. "Hey, sorry about your claw. Here..." he pulled out a spare sword and handed it to Nick. He looked up in the trees, but couldn't find Kat. "Let's get back to Alicia and Auron, ok?" He started to walk over to where they were.