Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but now all you know is antonyms.

I wish for a poorple diamond.

Granted, but it is the antonym for fools gold since there is no such thing as *poorple*
I wish to have my synonyms back

It is assumed that "I wish to have my synonyms back." is meant as an antonym for what you are trying to say, and so you do not gain your synonyms back.

I wish to be invincible.

Granted but you go mad with power and inevitably destroy yourself
I wish for a nice calm bunny

Granted. But your bunny is so nice that it tries to save a chicken crossing a street, and gets runover by a car in the process.

I wish for invisible sunglasses.

Granted now they are useless cause they are completely transparent, therefore no protection from light.
I wish for an afro

Granted, now a rat lives in it.

I wish for hoverboots.

Granted but they kept making you hover higher and higher into the atmospher...
I wish for a jetski

Granted, but you can't find any water...

I wish for a !

Granted, but the ! has gone out of control and has forced you to only use ! and no other punctuation mark.

I wish for everyone to have decent grammar and spelling.

Grented! boot Know alll of th peple ho alredy had purfekt gramar/spellin hav horibl stuf!

I wis for a pinapl!

Luckily, I do not have perfect grammar. Just decent.

Granted, you now have pineapple. Sadly, the spikes of the fruit have blinded you as you attempted to eat it as is.

I wish for chocolate rain.

Granted, but you drown in it.
I wish you had a small head

Granted, but yours shrinks as well.

I wish for poptarts.

Granted, but they are much too hot for you to handle, and they scald your tongues with that annoying potency that makes your tongue feel weird for the next week.

I wish I could turn into a shadow.