Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Everyone loves them. So much in fact we become a mudkip themed society and everyone becomes so obsessed with mudkip they forget to eat and starve.

I wish to be able to make vitamins appear spontaneously.

You have wished for a paradox, causing the world to explode.

I wish for a traversable wormhole.

You didn't have a wish to corrupt, so you are now forced to stay silent forever. xP

I wish for a giant ball of yarn

Um...Okay. It is at the other end of Estrios's traversable wormhole. This end is in Antartica.
I wish that whatever you wanted in the candy weather song, the goofy one we all sang in pre-K, would come to life.

Granted? I have no idea what you're talking about, dude, so I'm just gonna have a bird take a dump on you and say "wish granted".
I wish for a bird to fly up and poo on BangBronze.

Granted, but for some completely random but also completely legit reason, you and BB switch names after your wish is granted, and the bird ends up pooping on you instead.

I wish for an i.

You get an e

I wish someone would approve my starter poke :/

Granted, but now you have to deal with me for complaining. (This here guy waited nearly two months to get his first character approved.)

I wish for sugar.

Granted, but sugar now tastes like salt for you

I wish to get all A's in my grades

Granted. F's are the top mark now, and you failed school. Your parents have disowned you for such bad grades.

I wish that there were more Trolling An 11-year-old Fanboy's.

Granted, but the sheer amount of it becomes unbearable for everyone.

I wish for artistic inspiration

Granted, but the only thing your inspired to draw is yourself, and everyone begins thinking that you are an egomaniac, causing you to lose all of your friends and family.

I wish that I had a theme song, and that that theme song was The Drift by Blackmill.

Okay, but your theme insults you so much you have a mental breakdown and take the identity of "Fredrico Martinez De Vaca"

I wish for a bagel with cheese and jalapenos

Granted, but there's too much jalapénos, and they cause you to die from heat exposure.

I wish for a dodecahedral pyramid.

Granted, but it's purple and only one inch cubed of area.

I wish for my own personal butler