Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted. Unfortuntly it accidently sets off and it hits you, and bounces back into the Magikarp. Oops.
I wish that this blister in my mouth will dissappear.

Granted. It's disappeared! Now if only it didn't take your mouth with it...
I wish I could just finish ME3. It's getting a bit tedious.

( ME3 is Mass Effect 3 Right?) Granted, but then your save gets corrupt and erases all your data.

I wish I had better eye sight.

Granted. You HAD better eyesight about half a second ago, eyesight so good that you could visibly see gaps in time and nonexistence. Needless to say, your brain has imploded in order to avoid comprehending what has just been seen.

Ant? Aren't you supposed to have a wish? Ah, whatevs.

I wish Antonm had a wish.

Granted. I did, but it disappeared into the aforementioned gaps in time and existence.
I wish that I could think of a better wish than this one.

Granted. You think of a wish so amazing that your head implodes.
I wish I had Pokérus.

Granted. Unfortunetly you are not a Pokemon, and since it's infected to a human, an even rarer case than having it in a Pokemon, you slowly wither away.
I wish that I could type in peace.

Granted. You type the words 'in peace' peacefully.
I wish I had a hoverboard.

Granted. Your hoverboards bursts into flames when you get on it. Ha.

I wish I had better Internet.

Granted. Your internet is super fast and awesome. Unfortunately it's too fast and way too rushed, and your computer/laptop explodes as a malfunction.. oh well?

I wish school wasn't so boring.

Granted. Looks like terrorists have taken over!

I wish I owned a superintelligent supercomputer that would be my BEST FWIEND. And would destroy the world, ofc.

Granted,but it explodes.

I wish I could fly when I felt like it

Granted, but you flew into a portal that transported you into a strange dimension. And you are never heard from again.

I um... wish I had a banana?

Granted, but it is rotten

I wish I had a V8