Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted. Unfortunately, it ISN'T easier to type with a broken keyboard, which is exactly what happened.

I wish the next person would double post.

(I can't grant that. I would be double posting. >.<)
Granted, but they delete their second post before you notice it.

I wish names were easier to think of.

Granted, but unfortunately GOOD names aren't.

I wish I had pie.

Granted, but your pie is pie flavored. Coincidentally, that pie flavor is also pie flavored. And that pie-flavored pie flavoring is also pie flavored....

I wish I were fire-proof!

Granted! Are you bulletproof though? *evilgrin*
I wish raywilliamjohnson was funny again

Granted, but he cracks too many religious jokes.

I wish that this wishing well didn't grant wishes.

Granted. Now there all the other wishing well gets corrupted.
I wish that TRRoE was an Anime

Granted. Unfortunately, the director of the anime doesn't know anything about the RRPoE. And consequently mucks it up. Yay.

I wish I had PIE

Granted. You get a cake flavored pie. While you are wondering how it is possible you get eaten by the cake flavored pie.
I wish I wouldn't procrastinate.

Granted! Unfortunately, your work now procrastinates being worked on.

I wish Godzilla wasn't trying to eat me

Granted, now she's trying to kiss you.

I wish it wasn't late here. >_<

Granted. Now it's early. I mean really early. Like 2 o' Clock early.
I wish that i wouldn't bite my nails.

granted but instead u bite your tongue and can never speak again.
I WISH IT WAS EASIER TO WRITE IN THE WELL OF THE WORLDS.

Learn to grant your own wishes. >.< LEARN TO WRITE.

I wish Zash would learn to write well. Seriously, his grammar is complete crap. I CAN'T ENJOY THE CONTENTS OF HIS WRITING WHEN ALL OF THOSE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS STARE ME IN THE FACE. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE WATCHING ME. *ahem*.

Granted, but now Zashonfire is the only person who uses correct grammar/spelling on this site besides myself (heck yeah). And maybe you.

I wish my foot wasn't asleep.