Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted. Your foot is no longer asleep.
Unfortunately, you are.

I wish I had some NACHOs.

Granted, but they make you incredibly ill.

I wish my this person would get out of the freakin bathroom.

Granted!
Now to... why is there crap all over the walls?

I wish I was a Boss, and not just like a Boss.

Congrats. You are now a Boss of a bunch of....dogs....who are also disobedient. And just bit you to death.
I wish I could stop procrastinating....

Your wish have been granted, but sadly now you have a short deadline.

I wish for shorter time gaps between show seasons.

GRANTED! Now the gap between each season is only 2 months long!
Unfortunately, each season is 1 episode long now.

I wish I didn't just LOSE THE BLOODY GAME BLARHGOHSOGBVEWOV

Your wish have been granted, but now you have lost your game save.

I wish i have ten dollars.

... You don't know what the game is?
Anyway, granted. You now have TEN DOLLARS! BURNING DOLLARS! BURNING DOLLARS THAT ARE CARNIVOROUS! BURNING DOLLARS THAT ARE CARNIVOROUS AND TRYING TO EAT YOU! BURNING DOLLARS THA-alright, I'll stop.

I wish I believed I could fly.

(Chroma, I beleive this is the game.)
Granted. Sadly, you were taking inhalants at the time and are now an Ant-splat on the ground.
I wish that Ant would acknowledge my gender.

granted but then you change your gender and he acknowledges u as the older gender.

I wish I wish I was a fish

Granted! The problem being your a fictional fish in a story book.

I wish I had Telekinesis.

GRANTED! YOU'RE SPECIAL NOW! Well, you would be, except everyone else is telekinetic too. And is more powerful than you.

... No, I'm not going to wish to the wishing well. Piss off. I'm not gonna get corrupted again.

I wish I got to corrupt Antonm's wish. .-.

Granted. You corrupted Antonm's wish, which couldn't be corrupted, so you corrupted yourself and the well more. Congrats.
I wish the game would be more active. This game to be exact.

Granted! However, in every wish you make, the result GOES INTO THE VENDING MACHINE AND GETS WORSE AND THE RESULTS ARE THEN PUT INTO A WISH AND REPETITIVE CYCLE.
I wish that people wouldn't make wishes affecting the game.