Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but it's only normal for a moment.

I wish I had awesome skills.

granted, but after five minutes the skills become outdated
i wish for pokemon to come to life and they be peaceful and wont kill or die

Granted. Unfortunately, their inability to die means that eventually they begin attempting - and failing - to commit suicide. Whenever something bad happens, they are unable to stay alive, instead being forced to live the rest of their everlasting existences in agony.
Congratulations.

I wish I had a cookie. :3

granted but the cookie is the size of an atom so u lose it in less than a second
i wish for one of all pokemon games in english and all future pokemon games in english X3

Granted but it becomes Americanized like virtually anything else that is only in English.

I wish I wasn't fat. :U

Granted. You're still malnourished, just WAAAAAAY on the other side of the spectrum.

I wish there were real VRMMORPGs (Virtual Reality Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games)

Granted but they're n00b-infested.

I wish I could run easily.

Granted. You are now running around until you die because you cant stop running.
I wish I was a cake :D

granted but now your a lie and people burn you for your lieingness.

I wish that I was always wearing a tie so I could fix it constantly AND NOT A BOW TIE hate those things.

Granted but you can never take it off, and it ends up choking you.

I wish my cat liked me.

Granted but now you can't go anywhere without it. Not even the bathroom. Or it will go insane and die.

I wish it was raining Taylor Lautner clones.

o.o

... granted?

Erm... I'd make something up to corrupt that wish, but it seems horrible enough...

I wish I could kill every Taylor Lautner Clone that you made via the wish.

Granted - You COULD kill them, but you don't..

I wish I could reply to six topics at once. :O

Granted but all six become locked afterward and you can never post again.

I wish I could become Queen of a Beehive.

Granted. You are now laying eggs forevermore.
I wish my brother disappeared for a day