I replace ______ with ______: THE SEQUEL!

First topic message reminder :

I really enjoyed this forum game so I'm starting up a sequel to it. I'll quote 9kirby99's post on the original topic.

Quote :

I got this game from another forum, and it's really fun. Here's how it goes:

Basically, in each post, You replace something with another thing. Then the next poster reacts.But it has to be a not boring reaction, okay? Keep it creative.

Examples:

Poster 1:

I replace your nose with your feet and visa-versa.

Poster 2:

Now my Feet smell and my nose runs.

I replace your parents with link and zelda.

Poster 3:

Great. Now some evil person kidnaps my mother all the time, and my father has to go and save her.

I replace the next poster with milk.

And so on.

I'll start us off.
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I replace your body with a Charizard body.

I replace candy with kitkats

Kit Kats are candy, and you have therefore caused a paradox. You fool...

I replace the ceiling with a wiimote.

Yay! now I can shake the ceiling and have an excuse!

I replace Easter with Hannukah.

Jews are now all like "WTF!?" and Christians/Catholics are also all like "WTF!?". Good job.

I replace the ink in every single pen in the world with water.

Now there's wet paper everywhere and nobody can write things down anymore, until they realize pencils are unaffected.

I replace your plumber with Luigi.

now my plumber kill turtles and mushrooms in spare time! and he wears green!

I replace chuck Norris with pichu.

The world's crime rate has gone up by 217%, people are frequently depressed that there is no one kick-a** enough to look up to, Chuck Norris jokes are now replaced with various Pokémon jokes, and people all over the world now wear Pichu shirts. Yay.

I replace Altoids with Mentos.