Whoop-dee-do... My step-father is f***ing my life even more. It's already bad enough when I was 16 he put me in a high school program where I'd be shadowing jobs to get a job. The program actually went well, at first, but clichelike of my step-dad... it's because of that f***ing program that my deploma got lost in oblivion. It was as if I never even graduated. Never got my promised deploma after graduation, due to my step-dad not liking some aspect of the program(s), he kept switching me from one to another... lasting 2 whole years after school even ended. I walked across the stage and recieved the same f***ing envelope that shouldve contained the damn deploma, It was blank. [insert spoiler tabbed pictures here...]
- that stuff, used 3ds, quality sucks, deal with it:
The program officially ended when I was half way to 21, 'graduated' at 18... with no deploma, when the program said f*** it and ended, they said that the 'real' deploma would arrive in the mail. 1 and a half more years passed with nothing. In the mean time I had only 1 part time job during all that. and even worse, he thought I had gotten it. When I went to get my second job, I was turned down for not being 'experienced' enough due to not having the deploma. He took it the wrong way, thinking it was just that I failed whatever test they did. He constantly keeps up the 'do something with your life' phrase. Pissing me off.
due to only having 1 job at the time I dont have enough for a drivers license. In 'technicality' I do know how to drive and could 'most likely' pass the test whenever it comes. I just 'ironically' need a ride to the f***ing place to even do it. That's, let alone, not even mentioning the aspect of getting a car and getting insurance... and even 'then' getting my own legit place. He thinks I can do it all at once, I could've... IF I f***ing had the deploma he f***ed me over with.
Im currently running off 2 part time jobs that dont even get me 19 hours a week. I have too much free time and yes, I am using 'most' of it trying to do 'something' about the situation I'm in but 'he' is being too much of an ass in actually helping me get 'out' to get the stuff I need. Living in a rural environment with literally and vertually nothing around for miles. Only a comic shop and convenient store has accepted me into work... most of the time 'here' is spent during my off-the-clock time at the comic shop. Infact im practically at the comic shop all the time. It's better than being near 'him'... but the internet at the shop sucks. Whenever Im not doing anything I tend to play games. but thats only for like an hour or two. before I switch over to looking for a place to work 'again' that could be close enough where it wont take me half the day to reach.
And now to make it even worse, he thinks Im not even trying... I kept telling him (whenever he's actually calm and listening) that the deploma never came and whatnot. By the time the deploma was suppose be here, the school pretty much did away with my stuff. So even if I asked, they cant just pop out another deploma, without getting the 'government' envolved and my step-dad doesnt have the patience to go through that, apparently as he never went anywhere with it... I would do it, but I have no clue what to do, as that government stuff is way to complicated (and probably pricey AF for me). I'm better off going to college and getting something of the same or better value. (And whats preventing me from doing that... Look at the prices of college. Id get that in practically 15 years... at the rate I'm getting.)
Why not move out? I looked around, the prices of apartments 'rent' is either equal or above what I get. Again, not counting the multitudes of insurances Im already paying. Why not get a third job...? -.- Look above for the reason. Theres nothing nearby and 'he' cares too much on distance. Anyplace hiring needs 'actual' experience. Not the side-jobs I have been left to. other than that, I get outright rejected.
I dont have nearly enough to just 'get' a computer, let along any equipment so I could do a Youtube thing... Although that is practically what I learned during the school years. So I know 'how' it could be done. I'd just need time that I dont have even if I managed to get the stuff. because 'he' is thinking of blocking me out of internet pretty soon from 'his' place. If he wants me gone, then he needs to acrually 'help' me out. Fag. The only person 'really' helping is my aunt but thats only seasonal. as she lets me pretty much assistant manage the renaissance fair's events. (and that got me into D&D... which is something I do while at the comic shop on some days. >->)
Im only using this site for 'therapy'... when its no longer needed I may just up and leave. But that will only happen once this S*** is taken care of or if by some unkown reason my step-father croaks. I wouldn't actually mind that. It would force me into a situation that I can call onto the government. More than likely it'll go the wrong way, and either way I'd rather not, yet. So im forced to abide by 'his' rules. Which are not up-to-date with now-a-days governing laws. They're practically from the 70s. Like he's taking after his, rather annoying, father. Perhaps he had a tough time as a kid. but he had 3 brothers(2 same age, months apart... 1 by a year and a half) and lived in the city environment where there were plenty of places to go to. He didn't have my situation so I doubt he 'knows' "my" situation. I'm in a worse spot than he was, especially now that theres more things that need to be done, no longer can 'just' take a license exam... now 'must' take classes, a drug test, and a permit before taking the drivers test. (or at least from what my aunt says. Mother looked into it and found it to be over 1.3k$... f*** that.)
(secretly I asked 'his' mother 'his' school time. He had his deploma. The thing doesnt look important but it does give a person a better status. Maybe a few more years and I'll get a full-time purely because of age and skills. Pfff... right now everytime I ask for full, Im getting denied. I dont want to blame the government, but I think its the government overall.)
Im not asking for a 'review' but what the F***!!
I may update this, but I may just keep it like this because this is just dumb. semi-important, but not important for anyone on this site. Dont worry about it, just wanted to say my mind... I feel loads better. (worth it)
- more dumb stuff:
Canterbury, CT.
Im having fun
There probably is something I 'could' do about my situation, but im not 'that' smart. I cant consider literally everything outright. I probably missed 'something'.
When I said 70s... I mean he 'owns' the house in a way similar to how Lord E V has Sova,
(the strongest character on the site // with no 'apparent-to-users' weakness bs :3 :P)
, claiming dominance to practically everything if could.
The next oldest in the house when it somes to 'kids' is my sister who just got into highschool, then a brother who's just about to finish middle, and a foster kid(adopted) who is 5. His agressive behavior towards me is starting to rub off on the others and Im constantly reminding him, (just by existing) that being aggressive can cause problems. Buuut he still does it and Im seriously considering videotaping his behavior... Just to find a reason to get away. But reasons from above paragraphs explains what would happen, and I said Id rather deal with it than be taken under the government. For now, as I am. but once I have enough.... ooooh, Im soooo doing it. -.-* (totally worth it. If it breaks news, and works, Id be fine. but if it breaks news, backfires, and it gets worse... so be it. would still feel worth it to me. if it doesnt break news then 'aw well'.)
Subject: Note to self. about oneself. not an excuse. just a reminder. 
