The Vending Machine

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the vending machine! Put anything in it, anything! Perhaps you'd like to put in a television, or a quarter, or even a person, like Ripple! Who knows what you'll get? Why, the person who posts next, of course!
For example, say Alice puts a pistol into the vending machine. Bob, who is next in line, sees Alice get bullets in return! Bullets that are going at a speed of 4000 feet per second and straight at her ch-OH GOD, IS SHE DEAD?!
So, after witnessing that traumatizing event, Bob decides to play it safe and put in a... let's say a quarter.
I, being the boring person I am, find that Bob has received a candy bar in return! YAY!
So, feeling confident that Alice's fate is not mine, I shall put in my ham sandwich. What will I get in return? That's for you to decide!

You get a baseball...bat.

I insert the "B" button right above this text box.

You get a bowl of Chunky Alphabet Soup.

I insert a photo of Adam West.

You get $100.

I insert a subwoofer.

You get a Pomeranian.

I insert a bananaphone.

You get an Apple Tablet. An Ipad, to be precise.
I, being the awesome person that I am, insert a rocket by running a few hundred feet away and shooting it with a rocket launcher.
God, I am awesome.

A nuclear warhead comes out and flies straight towards you. Good job.

I insert a Nuka Cola.

You get hit with the very nuclear warhead that came at me. Nice job creating a nuclear fallout.
I insert Estrios' tongue.

Oo et Ero' eah.

I insert a TV.

You get a movie theater. And it's showing iron man 3!
And it's just landed on your head.
Yes.
A movie theater fell on your head.

I insert said movie theater.

You get an Imax movie theatre that lands on your face.

The vending machine got mad at you because you failed to insert anything.
It, thus, ate you.
(If you didn't notice, that was my way of inserting Estrios)

You get a very much mangled Estrios, who disappears for a second before respawning once again.

I insert an Eevee.

The vending machine begins spewing out a ton of Vaporeons that all turn in to water and drown you.
:]

I insert a Harpoon.

You get harpooned.
I insert a trebuchet.

You get a bunch of angry birds.

I insert Nappa from TFS