The Corrupted Wishing Well

First topic message reminder :

Having been a vet of this site since... um, a few years ago, I remember the forum game Corrupted Wishing Well. I'm sure you all remember it, and if you don't then scroll down like three topics. You'll see it. Anyways, this forum game works by fulfilling the wish of the last poster and detailing how said wish goes wrong, often with hilarious and reference-riddled results.

For example:
Person 1: I wish I had Pokemon Sun!
Person 2: Granted, but it's a hacked version of Heartgold. A bad hack, at that. I wish I had a pet cat.
Person 3: Granted, but it's a feral cat that gives you rabies. I wish I wasn't so addicted to forum games!

... and so forth. If you understand, let's begin. If not, I suggest you look at the previus Corrupted Wishing Well topic.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of Tootsie Roll Pops.

Granted, but your natural life is now shortened to have only five days left.

I wish I could catch every Pokemon legitimately.

I've known this game on another forum under a different name. Fun game, it is.

Granted, but no one believes you.

I wish my cat didn't wake me up at 3am for food.

Granted, but not feeding your cat at 3am had unexpected consequences and now you have no cat at all.

I wish pokemon would remake Pokemon Colosseum, Pokemon XD, or create a sequel to XD

also, wtf, when was games section opened for posting again? Thought it was closed for spam. 0-o

Granted: The pokemon company announces their new pokemon Colosseum for the Nintendo switch. However it is to be region locked to Japan.

I wish I had a part time job that earned me enough money to comfortably support myself.

And I don't know when this section became open to posting again, but hey activity is activity!

Granted, but that job is very illegal and immoral and something's bound to go wrong eventually.

I wish I could handle all the characters I'm collecting.

Granted, but you end up with no job and become homeless. You have no internet and your characters get put up for adoption and they all get adopted, leaving you with no characters to handle if you were to return.

I wish I could lucid dream more often.

Granted, you are now forced to lucid dream every single night. Have fun getting addicted to your fantasies so strongly you lose desire to live in reality.

I wish I could come up with a wish that couldn't backfire in any conceivable way.

Granted! You think of the perfect idea for a failsafe wish. But now you've lost your opportunity to actually wish for it since it's my turn now motherfucker.

I wish I had a Klondike bar.

Granted. But the Klondike Bar was found in the radiator of your old freshman math classroom in your high school, with frayed packaging, and what's left of the packaging says it's from the 40's.

I wish I were a competent human being and could be bothered to use my brain for two seconds.

Granted, but the overexertion is too much for your brain gives you a fatal aneurysm.

I wish eeveelutions would all get mega forms that don't suck. Two each like Charizard and Mewtwo because THIS IS A WISH SO BETTER GO BIG

Wish granted, but they're all absolute ass and don't look anything like an eeveelution any more. They have a special means to mega evolve where you have to go through hell and back to get the stones and even then you can only have 1 of them both in games and on site.

I wish for someone else to wish so their wish would be crushed by someone else.

Granted, but their only wish is for someone to reply, which can only be crushed by not replying, therefore ending this whole thread.

I wish for someone to reply.

Granted, but everyone thinks worse of you for it. Literally everyone. People who shouldn't even know about it start spiting you in cruel and unusual ways for your sin.

I wish for someone to give me an idea for another eevee-themed wish because I'm too tired to think of one.

Granted, but now that person has stolen it.

I wish gamefreak would make a spin-off game completely dedicated to raising an eevee and having it become your friend. An eevee pet-simulator would be adorable.

Granted, but it gets horrible critical and popular reception because eevee is overrated and gamefreak promptly retcons Eevee out of existence

I wish for nothing. Nothing at all.