Lost Cause

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Each step was made with hesitance, but he was fairly certain that this path was the safest. The only problem was that it was a guaranteed safety. His eyes darted about to and fro with a growing sense of dread and anxiety. He was alone, out in the open, in the place he'd last seen Voix. For all he knew the damned Zoroark lived here and yet he was coming back. It made his skin crawl and fur stand. He honestly looked adorably fluffy more so than terrifying. He swallowed his fears as he stepped along, uncertainty kept him from making much progress.

He came with the intent of collecting some items, a sack strapped around his side. The light crystal blue necklace dangled from his neck as he walked on all four legs. It was much more comfortable this way. It kept his stomach less exposed, far easier to run from danger as well. Zadira needed more items though. Not only for his own protection, but to hopefully sell them to the local merchant back at Grassveil, maybe an explorer or two. The debt he needed to pay was big and the lawyer made it perfectly clear what would happen if he couldn't keep on his payments.

It was understandable, considering the pachirisu saved what was essentially the rest of his life, but the lawyer's expectations were brutal. He could either pay up or he was going right back to where he was found.

He was completely content with just letting the silence lie, but Mocha seemed as if she wasn't. When the mawile brought up that she was upset with both of them rather than just him, he couldn't help but flinch and avert his gaze. His sights settled back on his claws as they unfolded and twittled against each other once more.

The fact that Maxie didn't trust him wasn't really much of a surprise. He didn't really blame her after all, he'd done nothing but cause problems for these two all day. He wanted to speak up and apologize for it, but couldn't quite find the courage to do so immediately, which meant that he could hear that Roi didn't trust him. Zadira's ears pinned back up in alarm and surprise.

"What?" he squeaked. His eyes settled on the book-Roi's journal. His ears pinned back down. He knew Roi had a journal, but the breloom was always so sensitive about other people reading it...or at least him, but he assumed the same went for other people. "H-He wouldn't..." he struggled to decide which point to address. Why would Roi not trust him? Sure-he was incompetent and Roi didn't trust him in a fight, but this seemed to be a bit more than that.

"B-But that can't be Roi's journal," Zadira pointed out, "Roi's journal is..." Well, in the hands of the Pachirisu lawyer. Zadira'd collected the group's personal belongings when he found them. The hospital handed it over to him, but then it got confiscated when he got arrested. He was given them back again, but the Pachirisu assured that he could keep it in a safe place...and he could have it back once he paid back the debt. He shook his head, "H-His journal's all the way back at Grassveil." It had to be a fake.

Mocha: [Energy: 5 + 1 (Page) = 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 4 + 1 (Page) = 5]
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”It’s a copy.” Maxie responded. ”And it’s not a complete one, either. Jut Like Roi and Voix. Incomplete copies. Unfinished, missing details.” She stated it matter of factly, as if she knew exactly what was going on. In reality, it was an educated guess at best.

”You’ve been reading his journal?” Mocha seemed surprised by the fact that Maxie would breach someone else’s private writings.

”I’m just trying to get the full picture here, Mocha,” Maxie stood up. ”The facts are we don’t know Zadira well at all, and all the weird stuff going on is kind of centred around him.”

”He doesn’t know anything more about it than you!” Mocha snapped back.

Maxie’s voice maintained the same stern but calm tone. ”I’m not blaming him for it. Look, I know you trust him—It’s not that I don’t want to trust him. But—” she looked back at the blue zangoose.

”I’m not sure you do.” She almost sounded hurt.

The mawile’s expression remained neutral, but she sighed. ”Alright. We can settle this right now.” She turned her attention to Mocha fully. ”Let him and I talk alone.”

The zangoose clearly didn’t like the idea. It wasn’t that she was afraid one of them would hurt the other physically, but she was afraid Maxie might say something Zadira didn’t want—or didn’t need—to hear. She had no idea what was in that book of Roi’s, but Mocha looked at it as if it might be a weapon.

Mocha didn’t say anything. Instead, she looked to Zadira, to see if he was willing to take Maxie up on her offer.

Anxiety came back. It tightened around his chest and suffocated him. He dared to look back up to the mawile, but the words she choice, the way she looked, and the tone she held only discouraged him from any prolonged eye contact. It was like he was a young child again, standing before his father as he scorned him for some action he didn't commit. It was Voix. It was always Voix. It absolutely had to be.

His eyes met Mocha's as she looked to him. He could hold contact with her much easier than Maxie. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to leave Mocha's side, not when she'd stuck with him throughout everything that'd happen that day. He got the feeling, however, that if this truly were Maxie, then he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He was the unwelcome visitor here, not Maxie. It was better for Mocha to have Maxie around and for all he knew objecting could drive either of the two away from each other. He had no idea exactly how strong their friendship was, but it seemed as if his very existence put it to the test.

His response didn't come verbally at first. Instead, his hesitant free paw reached over to the strap of his satchel over his neck. He removed the bag from his person and held it in his claws. He handed it out for Mocha to take and spoke, "Okay," was all he could bring himself to say. If this was Voix, then Mocha was going to need his bag more than he was. She was far more injured. He didn't know if she knew how to use what little of what was inside, but it was better than leaving her with nothing.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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Mocha took the bag hesitantly, as if it were some fragile object. She looked between Maxie and Zadira. She gave Maxie a look that begged her to be gentle. She gave Zadira a look that begged him to stay calm. After a pause, she walked out of the cave and out of sight—and, presumably, out of earshot of normal speaking volume.

Maxie stayed where she was, but she lowered her voice. Her tone was in fact a tad more gentle than it had been before. ”I’m sorry,” she started. It was a genuine apology, though it wasn’t clear what she was apologising for.

”I shouldn’t have read this,” she held up the little book—the journal. ”But I needed to know what I was dealing with. I need to know who I’m dealing with.” She stared right into the zangoose’s eyes, as if searching for any hint of dishonesty, as she asked her first question.

”Did Voix kill them to get at you?”

She was giving him and Mocha the benefit of the doubt by assuming Zadira’s story was true—by assuming that his brother did in fact kill Caritas and Roi and his team. If that were true, then she knew he’d answer yes. There was no other reason she could imagine Voix would do it. If he answered anything else—or if she thought he was lying—then she’d have no choice but to suspect that Zadira himself had something more to do with their deaths.

She wasn’t sure what she’d do, if that were the case.

he had absolutely nothing to hide, yet he felt so terrified. He abhorred liars, yet here he was on trial for being one. His claws unfolded and scratched against each other again, not to sharpen them, but more so the movement seemed to help him focus on something. He didn't look at Maxie in the eyes, lacking the willpower to stand up for his words even though he thought them the truth.

"Y-Yes," he answered, about as shaken as a leaf in the wind despite Mocha's request to stay calm. He pressed his back against the cavern wall, almost wishing that he could just phase through it and out of this situation. Not only did it feel like he was faced with his father, but the interrogator that questioned him-how angry they both sounded. Even though Maxie's voice was nowhere near the level of those two, he couldn't help but feel as if he were sitting in very hot waters.

"I-I haven't lied-once," he squeaked out. He meant to go somewhere with it, but his voice faltered before he could get out much more. He shouldn't speak unless spoken to in a situation like this, backtalk only ever resulted in the backhand.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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An inability to look her straight in the eyes, stuttering, a weak, unconfident voice—all clear signs of one of two things: a terrible liar, or a terrified defendant. Or, a potential third option that just occurred to her; a very good actor. She couldn’t see it. She couldn’t even convince herself to see it if she tried. Zadira wasn’t a liar, and he wasn’t an actor playing the long con. He was just… Scared.

She said nothing for a long moment. Eventually, she held up the journal again. ”Like I said, I shouldn’t have read this. And you shouldn't either.” She held it out for him to take. ”That said, it raises another question. Do you have a temper problem, Zadira?" She tried to meet his gaze again.

"If someone pushes you—really gets your blood boiling—are you going to end up hurting someone?”

She said someone. She meant Mocha. She couldn’t imagine a situation in which Mocha would ever possibly make him—or anyone—so mad, but whether or not she could wasn’t important here. What was important was that if she somehow did, would it put her in danger?

…

The situation inside the cave was thoroughly bothering Mocha. She quickly found herself looking for any kind of distraction, and in a matter of seconds she was digging through Zadira’s bag. She wasn’t trying to snoop, per se, but she knew there wasn’t anything interesting in her own bag.

She immediately came to realise that Zadira was far more prepared than she and Maxie were. She unfolded what she found to be a map, and tried to locate the mountains they were currently in on it. Then she tried to find where she had come from originally to get to Grassveil—or at least where she thought she came from. She wondered if the tribe was still sticking around that same place or if they had moved on.

She grew bored of this after only a few dozen seconds. She put the map away and retrieved a book. She ensured it wasn’t any form of diary before reading its contents—she had no intentions of breaching anyone’s privacy. ”Welp, I suppose now’s as good a time as any to get some reading practice in…”

Anger issues. Well...yeah, he should have known Roi would write about what happened back at the guild. There was no hiding how he flinched at the mention of it. He focused on his claws, the scrapes becoming harder and quicker. He couldn't focus on his breathing, instead wrapped up in how he should respond to this. It was true, he did have anger issues. It wasn't even just when someone was really poking at his nerves. It was worse.

He needed to respond. He didn't want to, but he needed to, "I-I don't want to hurt..." well, he was about to say anyone, but that was a blatant lie. He silenced himself and thought for a moment as he revised what he was going to say, "The only person I want to hurt," yeah, that was better...a little, "Is Voix."

"When I moved in with Caritas, we...we had a lot that I needed to work on. M-My family isn't normal, so I didn't exactly know how to act around people. It's...It's something she couldn't fix and it's bad-" he silenced himself. He got off topic. This wasn't what Maxie wanted from him. He needed to giver he what she wanted and only what she wanted.

"So-yes and...I try not to."

---

This book that Mocha selected just so happened to be titled, "You Are A Badass - and Other Things You Tell Yourself." It was a...unique book Zadira picked up from someone's trash-who rightfully threw it away after the discovery of how outright depressing the contents were. The ramblings of a cynic who mocked the reader and any others who ever had a shred of hope or optimism.

Unfortunately, the words inside were complex and difficult, some even Zadira would have to look up in a dictionary to understand the definition of. It might have been rather fortunate that Mocha wouldn't be able to read this book, otherwise she might have laid eyes on the words of someone who hated anyone who dared to wish fortune upon tragedy victims instead of going out of their way to help...while the author sat in a room and wrote a book complaining about it.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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The mawile was unsurprised by Zadira’s final answer. She could see some good in the fact that he didn’t try to hide or deny the truth, however. ”Okay,” she said. It came out strange—with no clear emotion or tone to it.

”I want to trust you, Zadira. I’m going to trust you. But I need you to promise me two things.” She stepped closer to him. Carefully, she took hold of each of his paws, stopping him from scraping his claws together—removing his distraction. She demanded his full, undivided attention.

”I need you to promise you won’t ever hurt her,” her tone was deadly serious. ”And—and I’m sorry, but—” She waited for him to meet her gaze. This was, to her, the most important part.

”I need you to promise me you won’t let him do to her what he did to the others.”

…

This. Book. Sucked.

So many big words that she struggled to even pronounce—and even more that she couldn’t even manage to sound out right. It would be easier to count the few words that she could read and actually understand. She decided that this book was not for her, and also that she’d need to seek out some of the few books she did know and share them with Zadira. He could use a more fun read.

She tossed the book into the bag. She pulled out the compass and decided immediately that she wanted one—even if she didn’t fully understand how to read it, either. A growing list of things she decided she’d need to help her exploring efforts was forming in her head. Maybe Zadira could help her with that list. The fact that she was broke didn’t occur to her.

She glanced at the cave entrance. ”Sure hope Maxie’s not grilling Z too harshly...” She was hoping she’d see one of them come out of the cave soon to wave her back in. She hoped when she did return, there would be a less tense atmosphere.

He hated it when she grabbed his paws. The smaller pokemon demanded his attention. While she definitely had it, looking her in the eyes was difficult...though now it was difficult to not do it now that she was right in front of him. He didn't take the book from her before, but with how serious this mawile made it out to be...what exactly did Roi-or even Voix-write in that book? It was an invasion of privacy to read it. Roi certainly wouldn't want him to read it...but curiosity burned.

His attention was brought back to Maxie. The sprite looked up at him with a firm and absolute expression. This was the part where he should prove his resolve. He should swallow his fears, put on a determined look, nod, and declare that he promised. This could be a turning point of his life where he'd actually get to do something and make progress with himself. He could have friends, he could protect those friends, and make something out of himself-perhaps even go back to being an explorer.

But it wasn't that point. It would never be that point. Instead of steeling his determination, his eyes teared up. He knew how that kind of story would end. He'd seen it all before. He wasn't meant to be rags to riches story. He was born in the dust and he should stay in the dust. He shook his head and made a feeble attempt to pull his paws free, "I-I can't..." he started off, "I don't want to make promises I don't know if I can keep..." his voice wavered with emotion, pitched and terse.

He wanted to say he could promise that, but...well, it just wasn't realistic.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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Maxie was disappointed—and a little annoyed. She knew, ultimately, that she wouldn’t be able to keep Mocha from hanging around him anyway. After all, Maxie wasn’t Mocha’s parent—and she doubted the zangoose would listen to her even if she were.

She let him pull himself free of her grip. She turned away from him. ”If you can’t promise that,” she started, a hint of bitterness in her voice. ”At least promise you’ll try. ...And don’t be surprised if I’m a bit critical of you in the future.” She didn’t wait to see if he’d make the lesser promise. She dropped the journal at his feet, and started to walk toward the entrance of the cave.

”But I’m trusting you, all the same. I’m sorry,” again, it wasn’t clear what she was apologising for—she wasn’t certain herself. ”I hope you can bring yourself to trust me.”

She disappeared from sight, leaving Zadira alone for the moment.

…

Mocha was still fiddling with the compass when Maxie appeared. She quickly tossed the thing into bag before making her way up to her feet as quick as she could. ”Is he alright?” The concern in her voice was stark.

”I think he’ll be fine,” Maxie responded—her tone was much harder to pin down. ”I’m still not one hundred percent with him yet, but I’m choosing to trust him. And I’m trusting you to tell me if he does anything stupid.” That last part almost had a humorous tone to it.

The zangoose wasn’t quite sure how to respond. After a beat, she finally decided on ”Thanks.” They both returned to cave after a moment, the mawile lagging behind the zangoose.

Mocha returned to Zadira’s side. Maxie sat near the entrance and looked out at the terrain beyond.

The mawile kept saying they were sorry, but the apologies were lost on Z. They were nothing more than empty phrases meant just to be polite. They weren't true apologies. That was one of the first things Caritas taught him: A proper apology. The mawile took it a step down and asked him to try, but it was already clear that damage was done.

It didn't matter whether or not he made the promise now. It wouldn't change anything. Maxie said she trusted him, but that was a lie now wasn't it? She'd asked the impossible of him and he couldn't promise it, why would she truly settle for less? Whether or not he trusted her didn't quite matter at this point. He didn't have any true choices in any of this.

He didn't say a word as Maxie left, he couldn't. All he could do was cry like the little emotional weakling he was. He was left alone in the dark with nothing but himself for company. Already, it felt as if shadows manifested behind him, ready to drag him further into the darkness. His fur raised with apprehension, but nothing ever came. Instead, Mocha stepped back into the cave. She stood herself right beside him.

...

Yeah he wasn't fine. The zangoose burst into tears again. He wasn't even sure what part of all of this made him tear up, but he couldn't stop it.

---

The terrain beyond held a distinct lack of a steelix. It also had a lack of a Tyrannitar. In fact, any sign of the fight before disappeared entirely. Everything was back to tip top shape, as if nothing'd ever happened. The only thing truly different were a small family of Rhydons that were cuddled up together in a big ol'sleeping pile that blended in with the terrain. So long as nothing disturbed them, they wouldn't wake...which was odd considering absolutely none of the noise from the Aerodactyl had woken them.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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Mocha embraced Zadira. She almost regretted leaving him alone with Maxie, but she knew it was probably necessary. She wouldn’t leave him alone again, though. ”It’s okay,” she whispered. ”You’re okay. We’re okay.” She didn’t know that to be true. She was just trying to comfort him. She didn’t have the right words—she didn’t know what all had been said.

She hoped just being there for him would help.

Maxie tried to ignore the sounds of the crying zangoose. Not because she didn’t empathise, but because she couldn’t help but empathise. She felt bad about hurting Zadira—even if this reaction wasn’t entirely her fault. She didn’t want to upset him, she just wanted to keep Mocha safe. She closed her eyes, trying to tune out everything for at least a moment.

But something was nagging at her still. Not Zadira—something else. She opened her eyes again. The ground looked untouched. How hadn’t she noticed before? Well, actually, it wasn't until just now that she had no other distractions. But that didn’t make sense. Unless the tyranitar somehow cleaned up the mess? She doubted it. She blinked. She noticed something else. She blinked again.

”What…?” she mumbled under her breath, confused at what she was seeing. She blinked again.

And again.

And again.

”I just… I just want a break. I just want a minute of normality…” she groaned quietly as she buried her face into her hands. Every time she blinked, it was like the world grew dimmer. By the third blink, she had realised that the day was growing shorter. It went from noon to afternoon to dusk in seconds. Now she was afraid to look again. What would it be next? Night? Morning? Next season?

Mocha hugged him again. Just how many times was he going to have to be comforted that day? The zangoose fell into Mocha's show of kindness. He was tired. So tired. It took him a good moment or two to calm himself down, which was surprisingly fast. Why so fast, well...

He looked down to the book at his feet. It was getting dark, he could hardly see the outline of it on the cavern floor. He didn't know what was in that particular book...but he wanted to know. Maxie said he shouldn't, but...what did it matter? Roi was dead, and he had a right to know what apparently made Roi distrust him so much. Yeah Maxie brought up the anger issues but...how could that have been such a big deal to Roi? He was pretty sure he'd never had a particularly bad one around him besides the day at the guild. There was nothing to stop him...besides how dark it was. But! He had a fire-starting kit and...a book. A book he could probably live better without. Every time he opened that thing he'd finish the chapter feeling terrible...but he had to press on. He had to figure out how to do things properly, right?

He couldn't burn it. At least not until he was done with it. Zadira picked up the journal. If they could just find some sticks and start a campfire, he could take a look inside. He continued to hold onto Mocha, but he managed to blubber, "W-We should...start a fire...t-to keep warm and-" read diaries, "Y-yeah..." He hardly even noticed how odd it was that night approached already. Time flies when you're miserable.

Mocha: [Energy: 6]
Maxie: [Energy: 5]
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She had, admittedly, not been paying too much attention to the time of day, but Mocha was pretty sure it shouldn’t have been so late so soon. She had a brief moment of surprise, thinking that she might have somehow dozed off, but was certain enough that she hadn’t that she dismissed it.

Zadira wanted to start a fire. It was probably a good idea. But, Maxie knew, that would mean getting fuel for said fire. Which meant she’d have to leave Mocha with Zadira again—or Zadira could come with her, and they could leave Mocha alone. But that wasn’t a good idea, either; and Maxie didn’t feel like doing any further bonding with Zadira at that moment.

The mawile dared to look again. It was still dusk. Time was moving normally again—for now. She stood up and started her way out of the cave. She was trusting Zadira, after all. ”I’ll get the firewood,” she announced unceremoniously.

With Maxie gone again, Mocha turned to Zadira. ”Is there anything I can do to help?” With the fire, or with your troubles. She wanted to help—she felt she needed to do something. She didn’t want to be a burden.

…

Maxie made her way down the path a little ways—a couple minutes downward hike—to a place she knew there were some small trees. The branches would be out of her reach. She’d have to climb. Or…

It wasn’t really what they were meant for, but with a little time she was pretty sure she could fell the tree with her horns, nipping through the bark and eventually the wood. When it came to taking this apart, Gilbert was an expert.

“Well well, look who we’ve got here.” A voice, vaguely familiar, startled her. She turned to find the source.

“Long time no see,” A different but much too similar voice added. She suddenly recognized the voices—though they were a bit different form last she heard them, and the Pokemon they were coming from didn’t match up.


”It’s been an hour, tops,” Maxie responded, confusion quite evident in her voice.

“Not for us,” one of the two mightyena before her returned.

“It’s been a few years,” the other provided. Something resembling a mix of confusion and dread came across as Maxie’s expression at the idea that she might have been here for so long. It certainly didn’t feel like it’d been that long.

“Hey, relax, it’s prob'ly not been that long for you.”

“Yeah, things weird here. Time don’t work right.”

“We’re probably from your future or somethin'.”

Maxie shifted from confusion and dream to confusion and frustration. ”What?”

“You collectin’ firewood?” One of them stepped toward the tree.

“You want some help wit that?” The other circled around to the other side.

At this point, Maxie was practically stunned by her confusion. ”Y-yes…?”

Help wouldn't be able to do anything. There was no "helping" him at this point, at least so he thought. At the very least, he steadily managed to suppress his own sniffling and sniveling. He sat himself against the wall and brought his own tail around his side so that he could sit a little more comfortably. He didn't know what to tell Mocha. He didn't want to tell her nothing, but he didn't want to lie to her either.

One of his claws extended to bring the book closer to him. He took a glance over to what little light was left of the cavern entrance. If he could get the right angle, he could have just enough light to read before the sun sets entirely. Even though he'd just sat down, he was compelled to sit back up.

What could Mocha do to help? He stared at the book while he tried to think of something, anything but there wasn't really anything to do. Just give her something Z. "Get the map and compass out of my bag and figure out where we need to go from here," his voice was dull and low, hoarse from everything that'd happened so far that day. Once the instructions were given, he took the journal and headed for the entrance-towards the light.