The Vending Machine

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the vending machine! Put anything in it, anything! Perhaps you'd like to put in a television, or a quarter, or even a person, like Ripple! Who knows what you'll get? Why, the person who posts next, of course!
For example, say Alice puts a pistol into the vending machine. Bob, who is next in line, sees Alice get bullets in return! Bullets that are going at a speed of 4000 feet per second and straight at her ch-OH GOD, IS SHE DEAD?!
So, after witnessing that traumatizing event, Bob decides to play it safe and put in a... let's say a quarter.
I, being the boring person I am, find that Bob has received a candy bar in return! YAY!
So, feeling confident that Alice's fate is not mine, I shall put in my ham sandwich. What will I get in return? That's for you to decide!

You get a 1 dollar bill.

I insert a bottle cap.

You get a bottle of soda

I insert eyes

You get eyeglasses

I insert the aforementioned soul-sucking eyeglasses that just sucked out Shadow74488's soul.

You get my body, the soul that was separated, and a mutant sunglasses monster

I insert my souless body

You get a bodyless soul.

I insert a cookie.

You get the cookie monster

I insert kryptonite

You get a dead superman.
I insert a dead batman.

You get dead robin

I insert a robot

You got a unicorn

I insert a cookie

You get cookie dough.

I insert Nocive.

You get Nocive, but she has turned into a timebomb during her stay in the Vending Machine and proceeds to explode in your face.

I insert dynamite.

You get Long Fuse Dynamite.

I insert this.

You get that.

I insert infinity

You get an infinity blade

I insert infinity gauntlets

You get zero gauntlets. Which you can use to divide by zero.
I insert Far Cry 3