The Vending Machine

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the vending machine! Put anything in it, anything! Perhaps you'd like to put in a television, or a quarter, or even a person, like Ripple! Who knows what you'll get? Why, the person who posts next, of course!
For example, say Alice puts a pistol into the vending machine. Bob, who is next in line, sees Alice get bullets in return! Bullets that are going at a speed of 4000 feet per second and straight at her ch-OH GOD, IS SHE DEAD?!
So, after witnessing that traumatizing event, Bob decides to play it safe and put in a... let's say a quarter.
I, being the boring person I am, find that Bob has received a candy bar in return! YAY!
So, feeling confident that Alice's fate is not mine, I shall put in my ham sandwich. What will I get in return? That's for you to decide!

You get a watermelon smashed over your head.
I put in an Olympic bronze medal.

You get...a gold medal Olympic Medalist in boxing. Who thinks you are the perfect punching bag.

I put in a Yugioh Card

You get a Yu-gi-oh card written in Japanese kanji. Translated it'scalled "That which feeds on Life". It feeds on you.
I put in a Mr. 2 Big bar.

You get a Mr. WAAAAY 2 Big bar. It crushesyou under it's hugeness.
I put in HALF-LIFE

the vending machine pops out a one up mushroom and you get a life! But sadly now your a plumber that now gets flushed off into the mushroom kingdom forever trapped saving a princess in another castle.
And after you get flushed away I slip in a diamond

You get a fire extingisher! Wait a minute...It's spraying on you!
I put in my homework!

You get A grade material! Congrats, you'll probably get a commendation for thi-wait, NO! STOP, DOG STOP EATING HER HOMEWORK! Agh, that dog that puked on your feet? Yeah, that was it's fault.
I shoot the vending machine. With a rocket launcher.

The vending machine decides to have a slingshot. And make the rocket launcher return to you. The nice vending machine-it just hit your face.
I put in the dog that ate my homework.

You get the wolf that was the dog's early ancestor. It has rabies. Ohhhhhhh cra- Bye-bye Sakura. See you in the afterlife.
I put in a Bounty bar.

You get an angry Rabies infected Sakura that has come back from the dead to-oh. I THINK SHE'S DEAD!!!
I put in Bronze's decaying body in the vending machine.

You get Bangbronze, alive and well again, and (Most likely) pissed that you put his body into the vending machine.
I put in a 1 HK Dollar coin.

You get a Dollar Coin. It is the same coin that you put in but-wait why does it has a mouth? AHHH *you hear the sound of Ant being eaten* oh well!
I put in my brother!

You get a person whose username is bangbronze. She comes with a knife to kill Anton for the hundred-ome times he has referred to her as a male.
I put in the now-bloody knife that is the weapon involved in Anton's mysterious death.

you get a stalker who wont leave you alone and is completely INVINCIBLE and stalks you X3
I put in Ash and his Pikachu!

You get a mishmash of Ash, his Pikachu, and vending machines. It comes and gives you an Oh Henry before being killed by Missingno.
I put in a classic Red game.