Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but as soon as you make one, you feel something on your head... OH MY GOSH!!!
YOU'RE TURNING INTO A WISHING WELL!!! And, as soon as the transformation is complete, you swear that all humans who wish on you will come to an awful fate because of it.......
I wish that this wishing well didn't exist.

Granted but then there is a Corrupted Wishing Well 2

I wish there was no such thing as a fitness run.

Granted. WOO HOO, everyone's fat now!

I wish that I could speak/understand French (and English, just in case you guys decide to make me ONLY speak french) perfectly, so that I could accurately make fun of my friends in ways that they don't understand.

Granted, but now your friends are also able to speak/understand French perfectly. Good luck trying to make fun of them without them knowing now>:3

I wish I was a genius.

Granted. And like the genius you are, you realize that life SUCKS.

... I wish I wasn't such a cynic.

Granted. Now you are a super-happy optimist person who all your friends hate.
I wish I wasn't bullied at school.

Granted, but now you're bullied everywhere else.
I wish for another planet.

granted but we never travel there ever

I wish I can some how get a required 50 hours of community service in and still have tiem for basketball and volley ball and other clubs

Granted. How do you like living as a nerd, who hates sports and loves chess?
I wish there was no such thing as bully.

Granted.
No, seriously. That wish wasn't corrupted...
... Did you know that you're the prime suspect for a missing person's case? Or, in fact, about 500 missing persons cases?
I wish that I had 7K Poké in this RP

granted but then you waste it all in suds art shop!

I wish shaman would be here irl and me and him would hang out

Granted, but then Lilly comes, ticks him off, and he attacks and puts you in the ICU.
I wish Pokemon wouldn't be so lethal and killer in real life.

Granted. Unfortunately, real animals are. Have fun cleaning up the dead pichu that couldn't fight back against the raging lion!

I wish I could play Halo Reach on the PS3

Granted, but the creators of the PS3 version destroy all of the PS3 versions in the world

I wish that I could get a lot of Poke and I don't ever waste it unless its for important stuff

Granted but then you become a miser who can't live without counting every single coin.

I wish that i had more time.