Rock, Paper, Everything

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the Rock, Paper, Everything game! Lets not waste any time and go straight to the rules.

Rock, Paper, Everything is a fairly simple game. First, you start with one Thing. For example, Ice. Now, the next poster has to post something that will beat the Thing, which in this case is Ice. I will choose Fire, and Fire melts the Ice. Creativity is greatly encouraged, but please, no Super-Duper-I-Win Things. If you select a unbeatable Thing, you will be skipped. Now, let the game begin!

Starting Thing: Sail boat

A bear to get trapped instead of the assassin.

A beehive to lure the bear away.

A stupid kid to start hitting the beehive with a stick.

A strict parent to force the kid to do a large number of chores before he could do so.

A rock to be thrown at the parental unit's facial region, in which he will be stunned or knocked out. Fly true little kid, fly true.

A hard skull to render the rock useless.

Gasoline to dip the rock in so it lights easily to make it useful again.

An idea to use the kid as a human shield in order to render the rock once again useless.

Einstein to make the idea of the human shield seem like the idea of water being wet compared to E=MC2.

Reality/logic to disallow Einstein from appearing outside of his designated time era.

a time machine invented by yours truly to bring einstein here to spread smartness n' stuffz.

A sledgehammer to destroy le time machine.

Gregory the magical cricket to get smashed instead.

A second sledgehammer to make up for the first sledgehammer's failure.

A third sledge hammer to create sledgehammerception, therefore blowing up china.