Rock, Paper, Everything

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the Rock, Paper, Everything game! Lets not waste any time and go straight to the rules.

Rock, Paper, Everything is a fairly simple game. First, you start with one Thing. For example, Ice. Now, the next poster has to post something that will beat the Thing, which in this case is Ice. I will choose Fire, and Fire melts the Ice. Creativity is greatly encouraged, but please, no Super-Duper-I-Win Things. If you select a unbeatable Thing, you will be skipped. Now, let the game begin!

Starting Thing: Sail boat

A sniper to kill the assassin before he can do anything.

A broken sniper rifle so that the sniper can't do anything.

A mechanic to fix the sniper rifle.

A Heavy going Pootis Spencer Here, while nomming on a Sandvich, so the engie has to place a dispenser, cuz that is tf2! :3

Another sniper to snipe the engineer before he can do anything (Even if I'm not sure how that helps the original sniper in any way...).

Time, to render all of this moot because the assassin has already done his thing in the span of time it took for all of this to happen.

Stopaga, to stop time and therefore render it useless.

A time machine, to time travel back to before any of this happened.

A gledgehammer (yes, gledgehammer, not sledgehammer), to destroy the time machine before it can do anything.

A grammar nazi to distract the gledgehammer's user for long enough that Suds goes back in time.

An anti-grammar troll to distract the grammar nazi for long enough that the gledgehammer's user can disallow Suds from going back in time.

An idiot lighting his farts on fire, making everybody stop and stare at him incredulously because they're too freaked out to do anything, giving Suds time to go into the time machine. Assuming that he isn't staring himself.

An assassin to eliminate Sudds as an infant.

((Shoot, now I'm helping him...))

A bodyguard to stop the assassin.

A bear trap to prevent the bodyguard from reaching the assassin.