(Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur

Guest

» Name: Urayasan
» Gender: Female
» Species: Bulbasaur #001 The Seed Pokémon
» Affiliation: None yet(Partner anyone?)

» Level: 5
» Energy: 19
» Ability: Overgrow
» Moves:
-Tackle(LVL1)
-Growl(LVL1)
-Power Whip (Egg)
-

» Likes:
She likes Grass and vines for natural reasons. Water, fun, and exploring. Since she is a curious kid after all, and who doesn't like fun?! She loves exploring curiosity in the kid! Water is nice, she likes being clean. mysteries, gems, friendship and Apples... Urayasan's mother has given them to her since she was born. She told mysteries, gave her gems, and fed her tasty apples! Gems make her wonder, they are fascinating!

» Dislikes:
Arachnid Pokemon, bad Pokemon, whiny Pokemon and other things along those lines. She was born with Arachniphobia, and she thinks that the world should be a better place, and she also has a short temper. Psychic types and being clumsy. She doesn't like Psychic types; they have better powers than her, and they hurt too! Clumsy, well, it makes her make mistakes that do not have good consequences.

» Personality:
Urayasan is very clumsy, but brave. She has a very short temper and is very kind and bold. She would and could never abandon a friend but she can be very stubborn; she has her own opinion, and sticks to it. This Bulbasaur enjoys getting laughs out of Pokemon; it makes her smile. Though, she may seem rude when in a competition because she is HIGHLY competitive. When Pokemon get the chance to know her, most of them like her.(But they are really only family) This Bulbasaur was taught to stand up to bullies since she hatched from a mere egg. Some nights she cries because she hasn't seen her mother in a while, but other than that, she isn't very sensitive.

» History:
She was lost in a storm with her mother Venus. The winds were so powerful, not even her mother's firm grip could hold her. Urayasan was lost for days until she was found washed up at a beach since she had fallen in the ocean after being dragged by the winds. Lucky she was near a damp piece of wood. After being stranded for a while, she had learned to explore by herself. Three months later, she found a strange stone with a leaf on it. Urayasan knew that it couldn't possibly be a leaf stone; it was much smaller, and the leaf was weird. Her mother found her exploring a dungeon, many tears and kisses evolved. Urayasan and her mother explored three dungeons until her mother had to leave frequently. Her explorations had been frequent, and in places too dangerous for a baby Pokemon. By this time, Urayasan had learned about fending for herself. She frequently visited her mother at a beach, exploring a different dungeon each time.

» Other:
She has a blue bandana with purple tiger stripes, after creating it with her mother, she's kept it since.

Administrator's note: The information below is the progress made by the original RPer that could not be edited into the bio template (Items and threads.) Any prospective adopters may want to look through the threads linked below to see if any are open and the relationships this character had with other before filling out an adoption application.

» Inventory:
Nothing

» Page Count: 0
» Threads:
Bulbasaur in the Veil

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:43 am

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) SPECIES
Please include the species number and what pokemon your character is refereed to as in the pokedex. For example, Magikarp is the Fish Pokemon.

2.) ENERGY
Your energy is completely off, please read over the energy system thread again and re-calculate your energy.

3.) MOVES
Please place what level your character learned their move after the move's name. As a friendly reminder, you can have one egg move.

4.) LIKES/DISLIKES
Please elaborate on your likes and dislikes, for example WHY do they like/dislike those things.

5.) PERSONALITY
Explain more about your character's personality as it is rather lacking and flat. Also if she would abandon a friend, how could she never abandon them?

6.) HISTORY
I'm just going to be blunt and state everything that needs to be fixed outright.
How did she get lost in the storm? How did she end up at a beach? How did she find her mother? What happened to the strange stone with a leaf on it? You cannot have a leaf stone if that is a leaf stone for evolution. Why did her mother have to leave? Why did she sign up at the guild? If her mother had to leave, how can she visit her at the guild? You cannot start at the guild automatically and must manually sign up at the guild. Where did the blue bandana with purple tiger stripes come from?

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries/Me. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

Guest

Okay

Also, the phrase would and could is used like...
I would never abandon a friend
I could never abandon a friend.

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:02 am

Ok, ya still need to fix everything else though.

Guest

Fixed everything

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:52 am

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) LIKES/DISLIKES
You still haven't explained all likes and dislikes. You must explain each and every one of them.

2.) PERSONALITY
"When Pokemon get the chance to know her, most of them like her." Is a quality of a Mary Sue, along with powerplaying as you CANNOT force another character to like yours.

3.) INCONSISTENCY
"Some nights she cries because she hasn't seen her mother in a while, but other than that, she isn't very sensitive." and "She frequently visited her mother at the beach, exploring a different dungeon each time." How could she miss her mother if she hasn't seen her in a while if she visits her at a "beach".

4.) HISTORY
A question; Why even mention the leaf stone? What's the importance?
"By this time, Urayasan had learned about Treasure Town and the Guild" Treasure Town doesn't exist in this Roleplay. The only town with a beach is Rainfront, and the only guilds are in Grassveil and Ailreon, and Ailreon can't be reached by others unless they can fly.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

Guest

1) Her mother told her Mysteries, gave her friendship, fed her apples. Others are explained too.
2) Most; they are family/NPC that's why I didn't say ALL
3) She doesn't visit VERY frequently, so she gets upset that her mother had to leave in the first place
4) I thought this was EOS EOD EOT so sorry about that. And the leaf stone was her first treasure. I don't know the map for red and blue, and I can't find a labeled one.

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:07 am

2.) Please specify then, because otherwise it sounds like a mary sue.
3.) Why did her mother have to leave? If she can come back every now and then, just what is she doing then?
4.) This isn't even Red/Blue, its a completely made up place that is completely separate from the games. No humans have or ever will exist here and the events of the games never happened.

Guest

Ok. Is there a map I can refer to?

Last edited by BlueKat12 on Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:59 am; edited 2 times in total

No, you have to go based off of descriptions on the forum.

Guest

Okay. I just wrote A beach. Minor foxes made.

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:00 am

"She likes Grass and vines for natural reasons. Her partner, water, fun, and exploring. Since she is a curious kid after all. mysteries, gems, friendship and Apples... Urayasan's mother has given them to her since she was born."
You NEED to explain why your character likes those. Natural reasons isn't a valid reason. She has no partner to like therefor how could she like her partner. You still need to explain Water, Fun, Mysteries, Gems, Friends and such.

"Arachnid Pokemon, bad Pokemon, whiny Pokemon and other things along those lines. She was born with Arachniphobia, and she thinks that the world should be a better place, and she also has a shirt temper. psychic types and being clumsy. She doesn't like Psychic types; they have better powers than her! Clumsy, well, it makes her make mistakes that do not have good consequences."
You still need to explain Bad Pokemon, and Whiny Pokemon. How can he have a shirt temper? Why does having better powers make her dislike only psychic types? What about Fairies and Dragons?

"Her Rescue Team had her very busy. By this time, Urayasan had learned about fending for herself. She frequently visited her mother at a beach, exploring a different dungeon each time."
The only guild that can be reached is Grassveil, they would be working in the same guild, they would quite literally see each other everyday. Why would they walk all the way to Rainfront to see each other? The walk takes a few days and there is no beach around Grassveil.

Guest

They can have rescue teams without guilds... That's an exploration team. In the Red and Blue MD games, they just send a kit and you're good to go.

Subject: Re: (Up for Adoption) Urayasan the Bulbasaur Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:24 am

That's not how it works here. This is not Red/Blue, this is not EOS, EOD, or EOT.

Guest

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