Pika tells Jax and Fox a bedtime story

Well it all started when Eddy went into a gentlemens club and found the terrible secret firsthand that Elriko had been secretly working there to raise money
[10:48:39 PM] Nick: Then with the addition of pork, the mafia, and Samuel L Jackson, things got out of hand.
[10:48:49 PM] Just a Fox: PORK
[10:48:54 PM] Just a Fox: PORK?!?!?!?!?
[10:48:58 PM] Nick: Pulled Pork. Strained Pork.
[10:49:07 PM] Just a Fox: WHEN DID THIS BECOME MOTHER 3
[10:49:25 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Mork from Ork
[10:49:31 PM] Nick: Well it all started when Lucas strolled into the gentlemens club behind Eddy because as it turns out Elriko is an alien
[10:49:36 PM] Nick: Oh god now I have to add Mork and Mindy
[10:50:00 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Good Will Hunting
[10:50:18 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Patch Adams
[10:50:24 PM] Just a Fox: Moby Dick
[10:50:27 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Jumanji
[10:50:29 PM] Nick: Well then Mork came down from Ork again and also enterred the gentlemens club wondering what strange things the humans did and some loser jumped up to the window and slammed his hand against it, revealing that he got Elrik's digits and asked how they liked them apples
[10:50:33 PM] Nick: Please stop /shot
[10:50:48 PM] Just a Fox: But
[10:50:49 PM] Just a Fox: But
[10:50:50 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Aladdin
[10:51:02 PM] Just a Fox: Paul Blart: Mall Cop
[10:51:07 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Bicentennial Man
[10:51:22 PM] Just a Fox: The Cop in Our Mall
[10:51:42 PM] Nick: So I have no idea what Patch Adams is but Captain Ahab walked in on the scene with some really stiff wood on his leg and he's like "YO HO YOU ALL BE HELPING ME CATCH WHALES" and so the group left to get on a boat but Lucas stumbled upon Jumanji on the boat and opened it up and started playing because he's a dumbass busta
[10:52:17 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Mrs. Doubtfire
[10:52:20 PM] Just a Fox: Magic
[10:52:37 PM] Nick: And the first roll revealed the Genie, who came out of the boardgame. They all got a wish, and Lucas wasted his wish on summoning a Segway. But little did he know that the laws of the universe demand that a Paul Blart come with every Segway
[10:52:53 PM] Nick: Crap I forget what the BIcentennial Man was
[10:53:25 PM] Just a Fox: Toy Story 3
[10:53:50 PM] Just a Fox: Santa Clause
[10:53:57 PM] Nick: So then the oscarless Leonardo Decaprio from Good Will Hunting is like "Genie, that's fine and all, but I wish you were a woman" And so suddenly the Genie became Mrs.Doubtfire. Finally Captain Ahab is like you're all idiots, I wish for that whale
[10:54:15 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Castaway
[10:54:26 PM] Nick: So the genie summons a giant polar bear creature on the boat and Mrs.Doubtfire is like "Whale? I thought you said Gale"
[10:54:37 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Capt. Phillips
[10:54:41 PM] Just a Fox: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
[10:55:17 PM] Nick: So everyone's scrambling around while this Gale is about to kill everyone when suddenly Santa Clause flies down over them with the three Toy Story Aliens manning a claw machine, and they lift the people off and carry them off in the sky
[10:55:43 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Top Gun
[10:56:00 PM] Just a Fox: Planes
[10:56:05 PM] Nick: As they do, they get this signal light from a nearby island. When they fly over, they find Tom Hanks there huddling with a Voleyball and they're like "Tom, need a ride?" So they pick him up and drop him off on a boat and wish him the best. Which doesn't go well as you can tell from Captain Phillips
[10:56:36 PM] Nick: So the group's flying to the North Pole because Santa wants them to save Christmas in payment for rescuing them from the gales when suddenly BAGPIPES THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE
[10:56:46 PM] Nick: Actually it was just giant meatball rain.
[10:56:57 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Braveheart
[10:57:03 PM] Nick: I can't
[10:57:07 PM] Just a Fox: Frozen
[10:57:07 PM] Nick: I have to draw a line in the sand
[10:57:11 PM] Just a Fox: Brave
[10:57:14 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Mad Max
[10:57:15 PM] Nick: I have to ask myself "WHAT AM I WILLING TO PUT UP WITH TODAY"
[10:57:17 PM] Just a Fox: BUT PIKA
[10:57:17 PM] Nick: NOT THIS
[10:57:34 PM] Just a Fox: THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER CONCEIVED
[10:57:41 PM] Just a Fox: I AM LAUGHING SO HARD
[10:57:52 PM] Nick: I DRAW THE LINE AT FRICKING PLANES
[10:58:15 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
[10:58:21 PM] Muthafahkin' Livid Gogoats On Motorcycles [Kat]: wat
[10:58:27 PM] Lord E V: That, my friend, is a good movie.
[10:58:30 PM] Just a Fox: Thomas the Tank Engine
[10:58:34 PM] Lord E V: No.
[10:58:36 PM] Lord E V: NO.
[10:58:41 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: I KNO RITE?!
[10:59:23 PM] Nick: Okay well the claw sleigh thing is crashing near the arctic circle and they're like oh noooo what do we do and so suddenly in the distance they can hear highway to the danger zone as Tom Cruise flies in with the Tom Brigade, featuring Tom Hanks who they picked up shortly after Captain Phillips. And they all get saved and fly off to the North Pole to save Christmas.
[10:59:27 PM] Nick: There. The End.
[10:59:58 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: But
[11:00:01 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: But
[11:00:15 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: I wanna hear about how they save Christmas...
[11:01:38 PM] Nick: Well when they get to the North Pole, the recent Disney Princess brigade featuring the scottish fate girl from Brave and not Ice Queen meet them there by flying atop a shirtless Mel Gibson and inform them of the worldwide situation
[11:02:20 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: .
[11:02:38 PM] Nick: So while Mel Gibson questions what the hell he's doing in the North Pole they get to packing up all the presents, but the planes are gone and the sleigh is damaged from Meatball rain
[11:02:42 PM] Just a Fox: 50 Shades of Grey
[11:05:00 PM] Nick: And then out of the blue, Mel Gibson does a magical girl transformation into Mad Max, Road Warrior. Getting his motorcycle, they begin to fly off into the sky on Mel Gibson's magical motorcycle and deliver the presents. But suddenly, out of the blue, a wild Thomas the Tank Engine appears, revealing that he orchestrated the whole thing in an attempt to ruin Christmas and cause the tears of children to summon him from the demon realm as an eldritch abomination hellbent on spreading Lovecraftian horrors in this plane of existence
[11:05:33 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Snowpeircer
[11:05:47 PM] Nick: After an epic fight they send Thomas the Tank Engine back to the Shadow Realm with the power of love, friendship, and a hookah bong and finish delivering the presents, saving Christmas.
[11:05:55 PM] Just a Fox: Shrek the Third
[11:06:33 PM] Nick: 50 Shades of Gray never happens. Chris Evans shows up to congratulate everyone in a post credits scene. And the post post credits scene reveals Shrek exiting the present bag, demanding the whole crew get out of his swamp while a sitcom laugh track plays.
[11:06:37 PM] Nick: The End.
[11:07:09 PM] Just a Fox: I love this
[11:07:27 PM] Hey, pick up because Tony is: Best. Bedtime. Story. Ever.