Lost Hope

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Leif had spent six days, as promised, in recovery. Team Sentima had decided on the outlaw mission that would allow them to fight, and to fight as much as possible. Leif had spent much of the walk to pricklemist in silence. He had given up on Sova. He had given up on a purpose. Whatever feelings he had left, excluding anger, he began to neglect. His body was still lithe after the recovery, but for such a short time he had gained an incredible amount of body mass from his starving form. His special band and red ribbon were tightly bracing his arms and fists, while his equipped defense scarf was loosely slung around his neck to be used as a tool when needed.

Despite the intensity he felt, his face bore little or no expression other than boredom or annoyance. "We're here." Leif factually announced as they arrived in pricklemist forest. He cared little for the prize or explorer points. He simply wanted funding for another meal, and a chance to fight. Ever since he teleported away, Leif had completely abandoned any sign of being so heavily determined to get Sova back, and treated the relationship as largely professional.

Sova's panic only got worse when Leif gave him the opposite of the answer he'd hoped for, saying it could be a separate consciousness. "A-another conscious!? N-no, I'm not crazy! I-I...." He shivered and shook his head. "No no, he's not real! He's not me!" He blabbered in his panic. What if this malevolent version of himself he'd been seeing in his dreams actually WAS a part of him? What if he would lose complete control over his body for ever to this....other consciousness? It was impossible! It had to be!

"You'll be fine. You aren't crazy. He isn't you. But from what I can tell, he's probably real." Leif nodded, "But this confirms one suspicion I had. You definitely have to fix this problem with your sleep. Don't stress about it too much. This could be one of those things that takes time, but you're probably going to want someone trustworthy there if you don't want to be totally lost to it." Leif continued, not seeing that his comments were likely making things worse, even though he was genuinely trying to help.

Sova shook his head again and looked at Leif. "Don't you understand!? It's not that he exists because I can't sleep! I can't sleep because he exists!! He haunts my dreams, making them all nightmares and tormenting me!" He snapped, then collapsed on the ground with his front paws on his head and his eyes closed. "I'm scared of him....of me...." He muttered. He still wasn't quite ready to fully believe he had suddenly gained multiple personality disorder. Perhaps it was just his subconscious, what he REALLY was.

Leif sighed, and sat down next to Sova on the ground. He couldn't tell if he was acting to get his partner to calm down quicker, or if this was his old self. He didnt really care. He was already about to do it. He gently placed a hand on Sova's shoulder, "You know, you could have said so before... All the more important we figure something out, right? If you really want to, I could try and teleport us back to Grassveil. Im strong enough for that now. There are plenty of talented pokemon who would be more than willing to try and help with this condition. Unfortunately, I cant read minds, but that doesn't mean someone else isnt capable of helping..." He wasn't sure what to say to help Sova, but he was trying his damnedest.

Sova sat with his paws on his head and his eyes closed for a minute, not speaking at all. He at least wasn't panicking any more. After a few minutes of sitting there, thinking, he slowly stood up, having calmed himself down. "If I'm not crazy, why would I need a "professional"?" He questioned. Before waiting to see what Leif's answer was, he continued. "If I can't handle this on my own, I don't deserve help anyways."

His nightmarish hallucination on Black Mist Mountain had already warped his perception to the point that he couldn't ask for help from others without feeling like he was pathetic, but this malevolent version of himself haunting him was making it far, far worse. He knew very well there was something clearly wrong with him, yet he was letting this nightmare conjured up by his mind influence him into not seeking out help and instead facing it alone.

Perhaps he was already pathetic, but he intended to prove he could do it alone.

"Because," Leif began, "everyone gets problems. But sometimes those problems are too big for us to handle. It doesn't make us crazy. Maybe unlucky. And one could be unlucky enough to be crazy. But I don't think you're there. Yet at least. And that's exactly why I think you should get help." He sighed, "That doesn't mean you don't deserve help. If it will shorten the time the solution takes, which I can almost guarantee it will, than it's more than deserved. And even then, there's no harm in trying." Leif stood up. "It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you less or crazy. Things just worked out that way. It doesnt make you bad, it doesn't make you good, it doesn't make you normal or crazy, it just is... But, it still needs taken care of one way or another."

Sova laughed. "I don't need help....If I seek help, nothing changes. I tried teamwork, reliance, kindness....it's gotten me nowhere. Actually, it got me less than nowhere, it got me HERE." He paused for a moment and looked at Leif. "Because everyone thinks I need help. If I keep supporting this belief, it will never change. No one will ever think I'm good enough. And if this THING is real...." He put a paw on his head to gesture to the possible separate "consciousness."

"If this twisted mirror of me is real, I don't think it'll ever go away as long as I'm too weak to fight it." He said before beginning to walk down the path. Since their mission was done, there was no harm in walking while talking.

Leif sighed, "Self fulfilling prophecy. Talk like that and I guarantee it wont happen. If you keep having that thing, then it will keep supporting that belief. And... just saying..." leif picked up a stick, and broke it. He broke it in half, and holding both pieces, he broke it again. He broke all four pieces. Now holding sixteen, with great struggle over his knee, he broke it. Finally he held thirty two pieces, and could not break it. "That's why doing it alone won't make you stronger or more capable of fighting it."

Sova growled. "I can do it on my own. And if I can't, then I'd rather suffer than have things to back to how they were." He said in a clearly irritated tone. He didn't quite appreciate being pestered to seek help, the one thing he was trying to AVOID.

"I might not be able to break sticks better than you....partly because of the obvious issue of paws, but that doesn't mean I'm the weak little eevee I used to be. I can do this." He attempted to reassure, probably coming off as hostile in the process.

Leif shrugged, "Whatever. If that thing takes you over, don't come crying to me then." He brushed himself off from when he was sitting, clearly now dropping the act or concern, whichever it was. Either way, it was gone. "Not that you'll be able to ask for help if that thing is in control. But if you're really so upset about me suggesting you get help, then stop acting so afraid. You were on the ground a few minutes ago." He huffed, annoyed at Sova's overreaction, as he saw it.

Sova glared at the ground because clearly the ground did something wrong in an attempt to not be any more rude towards Leif with a mean look. "If I'm weak, it'll take over. It certainly didn't happen from me being STRONG back there, at least...." He gestured with his head to the area behind them in which the fight had taken place. "Besides....I lost. He won. Maybe I SHOULDN'T be in control." He muttered, mostly to himself.

Leif laughed, "You're funny. Don't throw your life away like that, that trash doesn't deserve to have control." His head bobbed side to side, "But I won't lie, if you were able to negotiate with it, it seems to have incredible combat skills that could prove beneficial..." Leif shrugged, "whatever the case, you're winning now, and you've been winning most of the time, so keep doing that."

Sova's ears perked slightly at the mention of the....thing's combat. "Like you said, it's a lot better at fighting than me, clearly. I dunno if I can keep something like that in check." He said, clearly lacking confidence in himself. How does one beat something that is their self, but stronger?

"I guess what ever happens, I'll find out eventually." He said in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. It wasn't like dwelling on it was going to help anyways. It'd probably just help him to lose his mind more.

Leif nodded, "Well, maybe its currently stronger than you physically. But who's to say you aren't better in the realm of mind?" Leif joked, "clearly, because I don't need my eyes open to see, Im stronger than both of you in the realm of mind. But even so, you're stronger than me physically, and hes stronger than you physically. So if the correlation maintains, it would only make sense if you can beat it."

"Sounds like I'm a jack of all trades, master of none." Sova joked back. "But, maybe that has advantages. I guess I'll find out eventually, anyways." He continued. Maybe Leif was right. Maybe he had SOME kind of advantage. If he didn't, logically, he would already be taken over. So all he needed to do was keep his advantage and he would manage. It seemed easy enough.