Ask the Smug Snake

The Grass Snake Pokemon is sitting at his desk, currently invested in writing his reports or making the plans for the next mission. So embroiled in his work, he does not initially notice the visitors in his quarters at all, amber eyes focused intently on the papers in front of him.

(So this is an ask thread, similar to tumblr ask blogs. People can ask Jeremy things himself, ask through their characters, or even implement 'anon magic'. However magic is only available for about 3 asks, and only every other time. Anyway, eager to hear what you guys have. Try to make it fun. xD)

A human girl walks in through the door. She appears to have short chocolate brown hair and slightly tan skin, and her eyes are a deep emerald.

"Hello Jeremy, I have only one question, if you would please answer I would be very grateful." She smiles, and then clears her throat.

A second passes.

Then another...



"WHEN GIRATINA RISES WHO DO YOU CALL?"

A low reptilian hiss accompanies the words as the male snivy glares at the human, amber eyes full of contempt. "GET OUT!"

That day never happened and no one would be able to prove it... NOBODY.

A white human shaped creature with a deadpan bored looking face, long fabulous flowing hair which waves in the non-existent wind, and no arms walks in and stands silent for a second before speaking.

"Why do Serperiors always have their hands folded behind their backs? Are they stuck there?"

A blue feline the size of a lion approaches, with an amused sounding purr, she asks, "So, do you have any sort of love interest with Mirage?"

A voice with no visible source whispers into the Snivy's ears, wherever they may be:

Jeremy, do you know that in a completely different and more well known universe than yours, Pokemon just like you are crammed into tiny balls, often breed for sport, and are forced to battle for human enjoyment?

Eyeing the strange, vague humanoid figure with obvious, paranoid trepidation. At her question, Jeremy narrows his amber eyes. "Serperiors do not always have their hands folded behind their back. Most people in the world do not. The pose you are thinking of is simply a matter of station. It is dignified and stoic. A sign of higher breeding and status that a serperior's opponent simply does not have."

At the large, azure cat, Jeremy scowled openly. With a deadpan expression and not a second of hesitation, he simply states, "No."

At the disembodied voice in his ear holes though, the male snivy cringes. "Well disembodied voice in my ear that makes me question my sanity, that sounds like a terrible, terrible existence."

He needed to see a psychiatrist... The stress of work must have been getting to him.

A Munchlax walks into Jeremy's quarters.

"Hello, I would like an XL burger with extra everything on it, two large fries with extra salt, 40 Torchic nuggets with a bit of every sauce, and a large mint milkshake, with extra whipped cream (but no cherry), to go, please."

When the munchlax walked inside Team Magna's guild room, Jeremy initially raised his scaly brow in expectation. After all, another Pokemon was now present, and the Grass Snake did not know if he showed interest in joining the guild or something else entirely. However, as the desire for fast food was made evident, Jeremy's brow moved down as he stoically stared at the munchlax.

"Well, that is VERY interesting. You know who else would find that interesting? An actual fast food restaurant. This isn't one of those, and I cannot fathom a reason as to why you would think so. This is a guild hall, and not even the cafeteria at that."

The male snivy scowled.

"So do us both a favor before you waste more of my time. LEAVE!"

"Oh? Why the hesitation then?" The feline hides a sly and teasing smirk with the side of her paw.

A ninja that is unseen, but heard whispers from all the shadows of the room at the same time.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

Jeremy just gives half lidded glare at the large cat. "There is no hesitation why would yo-" He pauses. "Oh... You ship us don't you? I bet thats EXACTLY what this is. Let me just say there is no expression physically possible or known in which I can convey my gagging disgust at you."

Furrowing his brow at the voice, Jeremy went on, "You cannot clap one hand. You can wave and move one hand, but clapping requires two."

Suddenly an Oshawott shyly peeps in, "this...isn't the right r-r-room... Um....H-h-h-hello...u-u-um....d-d-d-do y-y-y-you k-k-know w-w-w-where T-t-team.....T-t-turquoise T-t-trinity's S-s-sleeping Q-q-q-quarters are?" She shuffles her feet slowly and you can see a soft pink ribbon tied like a hairband on top of her head, "M-m-miss...F-f-faye i-i-is o-o-out...a-a-and y-y-you s-s-seem....l-l-like...y-y-you w-w-would....k-k-know...." her last words are barely audible.

"Nah, I'm more of a Zirage shipper, or would Mack fit more? Nah, Mack is too close to Muk, Zirage it is. Anyways, do you ever plan to return to your father and give him a good smack in the face?" the blue feline lays on the floor, relaxed.

Looking up from his paperwork, Jeremy eyes the female oshawott who entered his room. Slightly suspicious of more ridiculous disturbances, he slowly lets his guard down when he realizes that she is here for an actual reason.

She seemed to be looking for her exploration team's sleeping quarters. If that was the case, she must have been a new recruit. A pretty young thing, though with such a docile personality Jeremy wondered how she would adapt to the more... Harsh reality of guild life. He had to strain to had the last bits

Clearing his throat, Jeremy replied. "I'm sorry miss. I hope I heard you right. You were looking for Team Turqoise Trinity?" What a ridiculous name... "It is actually in a different hall miss. Keep going straight until you hit an intersection. Head right from there, and it will be the third door to your left."

Turning to the blue feline, Jeremy scoffs. "Do you ever plan to leave? The moment I have to fight my father is the day I probably die."