The Vending Machine

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the vending machine! Put anything in it, anything! Perhaps you'd like to put in a television, or a quarter, or even a person, like Ripple! Who knows what you'll get? Why, the person who posts next, of course!
For example, say Alice puts a pistol into the vending machine. Bob, who is next in line, sees Alice get bullets in return! Bullets that are going at a speed of 4000 feet per second and straight at her ch-OH GOD, IS SHE DEAD?!
So, after witnessing that traumatizing event, Bob decides to play it safe and put in a... let's say a quarter.
I, being the boring person I am, find that Bob has received a candy bar in return! YAY!
So, feeling confident that Alice's fate is not mine, I shall put in my ham sandwich. What will I get in return? That's for you to decide!

You get a stereo that only plays recordings of Nappa saying "Vegeta" with different voice inflections.

I insert my coffee addiction.

You get 1000 gift cards to starbucks, but they have already been used.

I insert myself

You be gettin a swaggafied version of yo self son! 8)

I insert all of the swag.
ALL OF IT.

You get a McDonald's worker.

I insert a potato

You get an apple made of dirt.

I insert a violin.

Out pops your own personal violinist, but all he can play is "Baby" by Justin Beiber

I insert a pokeball

You get GLaDOS.

I insert a supercomputer.

You get QWOP

I insert 42

You get a Life-In-A-Can.

I insert a bottle.

You get a can.

I insert the next poster.

You get yourself.

I insert a phone.

You get an eye.

I insert a Big Mac.

You get Little Mac.

The vending machine eats you. Maybe you should have inserted something.

I insert all 7 deadly sins.

You get a sapper.

I insert a tank.