Corrupted Wishing Well 2

First topic message reminder :

I'm sure most of you know this game -- make a wish, and have it come true. Problem is, the wishing well is corrupted and as such the fulfillment of the wish goes terribly awry!

To those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the gist:
1. Grant the wish above you, making it go wrong somehow.
2. Make a wish yourself.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For example:

Person 1: I wish for some sushi.

Person 2: Granted, but it seems that the fish has gone rotten, and it's given you food poisoning!
I wish for a puppy.

Person 3: Granted, but it's vicious and it tears up your furniture.
I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

___________________________________________________________________________________

I will start.
I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but he goes to Hawaii and when he comes back, he rubs it in your face. :I

I wish sore throats didn't exist.

granted but god punishes you for that wish for the rest of enternity
i wish i was a better drawer

Drawer? Granted...I dont even know that you were a drawer....
I wish that I couldn't get sore anymore.

Granted. You shall be missed
I wish chemistry no longer existed.

Granted. Now a bunch of elements go and destroy you, but make a pretty cool light show!
I wish there was no such thing as homework.

Granted. Unfortunately, your schoolwork has tripled so much that you can't enjoy your time at home; you spend it sleeping.

I wish I could play drums.

Granted, but you still can't play them well.

I wish I was more original.

Granted. You were, but someone took credit for what you were being original for and you currently look like a poser.

I wish I could destroy the very concept of trigonometry. Even if it meant the complete and utter destruction of the universe, the destruction of trigonometry would be worth it.

Granted. Now there is no such thing as Mathmatics, or Antonm1107.
I wish that I could have my two bags of chips that got stuck in a vending machine. (No antonm, not The Vending Machine.)

:D THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING MATHEMATICS. I AM SO GLAD I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT I DON'T EXIST.

Granted. Unfortunately, you were wrong when you thought it wasn't THE VENDING MACHINE and consequently you got two HUGE bags of chips with explosives in them.

I wish I was awesome.

Granted, but awesome is the new lame. o3o

I wish percussion wasn't so loud.

Granted, now violins are now loud. Blasting. In your ear. Playing badly.
I wish i had pie.

Granted... you didn't just wash your face, did you?
I wish I could live up to ONE Chuck Norris myth.

Granted. You now have angered chuck norris. Wait, if chuck norris would really do anything, he would hit you with my keyboaskljfwenewofnreown/
I wish that I had more wishes :P

Granted, but you have to wait seven years between using each.

I wish it was easier to type with Bandaids on. >.<