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 Amber the Charmander (WIP)

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Lumin

Lumin

Posts : 386
Poké : 6221
Join date : 2014-03-09
Age : 30
Location : Hamilton

Amber the Charmander (WIP) Empty
PostSubject: Amber the Charmander (WIP)   Amber the Charmander (WIP) EmptySat Dec 08, 2018 11:53 pm


» Name: Amber
» Sex: Female
» Species: #004 - Charmander, the Lizard Pokémon
» Affiliation: None, but she's an aspiring historian/archaeologist/explorer

» Level: 5
» Energy: 19
» Ability: Blaze
» Moves:
- Scratch (start)
- Growl (start)
- Dragon Pulse (egg move)
-

» Natural Feats:
- Blaze: When a Charmander is tired or weakened, they can temporarily boost their attack power by up to 50% if using a fire-type move.

» Relatives:
- Fiera the Charmeleon (mother)
- Xergut the Zweilous (father)
- Ulmer the Charizard (grandfather)

» Personality:

» Likes:

Reading: By far one of her most favorite pastimes, she will regularly visit the libraries of any given town she visits, and, in lieu of such a convenient body of knowledge, Amber will seek out any other sources, including historical archives wherever they might be found. Despite herself, she quite enjoys certain works of fiction as well.

Exploring: One of her greatest sources of information, when she isn't reading, comes directly from her own travels. She visits many dungeons in her endless search for insight into the past. And often times the scarier the experience, the more invigorated and motivated she becomes.

Dry Heat: As both a fire-type and a lizard, her preferred climates include volcanic regions and deserts, but she'll still weather bitter cold and humid climates to get what she wants. Sometimes even to the detriment of her own well-being.

Spicy Food: The hotter the better. If she can't feel it burning all the way down into her belly, she won't be satisfied. As such, she tends to carry around her own assortment of spices for the purpose of seasoning otherwise bland, mundane foods with the tongue-sizzling flavors of her homeland. Few can handle such intense heat, which makes it a good weapon at times as well.

» Dislikes:

Cold Weather: Naturally. Not only does it slow her movements and weaken the flame on her tail, it makes it difficult to concentrate and think clearly. She's at her weakest both mentally and physically in wet and frozen climates. Despite her own shortcomings though, she tries to power through the challenges that face her.

Needy Pokemon: Aside from the fact they provide a major distraction, she sees those that need help as being 'weak'. Even when she finds herself in need of assistance, she may refuse it out of stubbornness. Seeing it in others though, fills her with contempt, but as much as she'd desire to withhold compassion, her sense of duty and obligation takes priority.

Sitting Still: After spending the first leg of her life living exclusively in the lava fields of her homeland, listening to tales told by her Grandfather of other lands throughout the world, she has vowed never to stay in once place for so long ever again. Much like the aging Charizard had been in his youth, Amber is devoted to traveling, exploring and discovering new things every day, such that even sitting down to rest can make her anxious and frustrated.

» History:



» Other:

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Last edited by Lumin on Fri Dec 14, 2018 12:14 am; edited 1 time in total
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Lord E V
Head Secretary, Moderator & Lord of the Eevees
Lord E V

Posts : 3228
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Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 21
Location : Nibiru

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PostSubject: Re: Amber the Charmander (WIP)   Amber the Charmander (WIP) EmptyWed Dec 12, 2018 5:39 pm

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) NATURAL FEATS

Bar the one for Blaze, the natural feats you have are... just flat-out made up. Natural feats are supposed to be canon things that pokemon can actually do according to the pokédex, not just made-up things that sound like they kinda fit. Even if you can explain these things through other means, they are not natural feats and do not belong on this list.

2.) PERSONALITY

You first say that Amber's moral compass takes a backseat to her desires, then you say she has a moral compass that borderlines on being a code of conduct in terms of importance to her. This makes no sense. It's fine if she's reluctant about helping people, but within the first few sentences of the personality, it's stated that she actually acts on her selfish desires, which is then contradicted later.

"Her single-minded thirst for knowledge typically overrides her moral compass, to the extent she often uses others to further her own ambitions."

You have it very clearly stated that she will act in her own interests and use others, then you later say just as clearly that she prioritizes protecting others. Either she's so self-interested that she'll step over others to get what she wants, or she has a set of rules that mandates she put others before herself. You can't have both. If you had something else in mind here, it needs to be more clearly explained. If it's supposed to be a struggle where she sometimes chooses to help others and sometimes decides to just help herself, then say that. Clearly.

3.) DISLIKES

You say Amber dislikes liars and is quite critical of deceptive behavior, yet you've also said she's willing to manipulate people to get what she wants. That seems like kind of a double-standard, which is fine, but the words don't really reflect that when they should.

That isn't the only issue with her dislike of lying, however. You've also said that "she's also developed a sixth sense that can detect a falsehood from a mile away." To be blunt... no. No matter how sharp your character is, she can't just go around "detecting" lies because her spidey sense is tingling.

4.) HISTORY

First off, you seem to have made up a subdungeon for Fiery Chasm. Making up your own named locations is not allowed.

But more importantly, Fiery Chasm is a dungeon. There is no civilization like the one you've depicted here. If your character grew up here, she grew up in the wild, not a tightly-knit community with laws and lava boats. The lava boats don't even make sense in the first place.

5.) TOME OF THE SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE

This book is a definite no. Everything about it: no. If you want a book, make it a normal book, not some super special magic tome of eldritch knowledge. You can't give your character an item of such special significance. Even if it turned out this thing is actually just a really old cookbook, things like the indestructible casing and magic lock are not okay.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Character Moderators. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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