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 Rai the Zubat

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allymender

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PostSubject: Rai the Zubat   Thu Nov 19, 2015 10:56 am

» Name: Rai
» Sex: Male
» Gender: Male
» Species: #41: Zubat, the Bat Pokemon
» Affiliation: Wanderer

» Level: 5
» Energy: 16
» Ability: Inner Focus
» Moves:
-Leech Life (Lv. 1) Rai bites the opponent and drains their life.
-Supersonic (Lv. 4) Rai emits a strange sound that confuses the opponent.
-Zen Headbutt (Egg) Rai focuses all of his willpower into a powerful headbutt.

» Natural Feats:
Blindness - Having no eyes, Rai cannot see.
Hearing - To make up for his blindness, Rai has superior hearing.

» Personality: Rai is completely good at heart. He believes in justice, and that all misdeeds must be punished. While he does have good intentions, he can bring it a bit too far at times, potentially endangering himself and others to enact justice. He can also be somewhat stubborn at times. Despite all of his flaws, Rai knows that he can be difficult for others, and does his best to cooperate. He knows that others have feelings, and he is very sympathetic to those in need. Rai does everything in his power to help the innocent, and to defeat the forces of evil, no matter how big, and solves the problems of others, no matter how small.

» Likes:
Helping others - With such a strong sense of justice, Rai feels that part of his goal as a hero is fixing the problems of everybody in need.

Thwarting evil - The other part of Rai's goal is to eradicate any and all evils. He claims that all who oppose the forces of good should face justice.

Training - Rai knows that, with practice, one will become stronger. He knows that to be a real hero he'll need all the strength he can get, so when not helping others, he trains himself physically and mentally to overcome all obstacles. It's also a great time killer.

» Dislikes:
Loud noises - Because of how good his hearing is, loud noises become that much louder, and they hurt his sensitive ears.

Thunderstorms - Rai knows that a jolt of lighting can injure his wings and seriously damage him, so he tends to avoid cloudy skies and rain by finding refuge in caves, under trees, etc. He's actually a little scared of thunderstorms, but he tries to hide it to defend his reputation.

Evil - Rai is completely serious about defeating evil. It is his biggest goal in his quest to become a hero. "No crime should go unpunished!"

Losing - Rai's biggest fear is losing. How can you defend others if you can't even defend yourself, he thinks.

» History:
Rai grew up in a cave, filled to the brim with outlaws and criminals. The cave was an unknown little slum, but a common hideout in the criminal underworld. Most residents lived in fear, if they weren't either leaving or fighting back.  All his life, he knew that the world was filled with evil. He lived in a small hut with his parents, two Crobats. Being part of a poor family, Rai and his parents had no choice but to live in this run-down old cave. He never left his home often, for he was always protected by his parents. They had a strong sense of justice as well, and they taught Rai that evil can never be trusted. Rai's parents also trained him in combat from time to time. To live in such a place, one would need to be able to defend themselves. Apparently, they taught him well, for he came to realize that he could fight back against evil.

On one fateful night, one of the outlaws from the cave broke into Rai's house. The outlaw must have made enough noise to wake up Rai, for it wasn't long before the intruder was noticed. Rai had no choice but to defeat the evildoer to get him out of the house. Luckily, in such a dark cave, Rai had the advantage thanks to his ears, while his opponent couldn't see a thing. Using all his parents had taught him, he was able to defeat the intruder. However, he didn't escape unscathed; with flailing strikes in the darkness, the outlaw landed a blow on one of Rai's wings.

Over the next few days, as Rai recovered from his injury, news slowly spread of his victory. A young child, defeating a criminal? Nobody had heard of such a thing. By the time he had fully healed, the cave's outlaws knew that the current location might not be such a safe hideout. Rai's parents realized that, with the help of Rai, the three of them could potentially rid the cave of all of the criminals. They began formulating a plan to eradicate all of the outlaws.

A few months later, the plan of attack was ready. The three of them all slowly began picking off the outlaws, until eventually, the few criminals left standing had already fled the cave to find a new hideout. All of the residents of the town who had been living in fear of all the crime throughout the cave were relieved to find that the outlaws were driven out for good. Rai's family was congratulated for doing such an amazing deed for everybody. Finally, everybody could live in peace.

Though, Rai was not completely satisfied. He knew that, though evil has been defeated here, there is still plenty left throughout the whole world. Weeks passed, and life in the cave had begun to improve. Residents weren't afraid, and everybody was happy. Rai received word of a guild dedicated to adventuring and helping others, in a town not too far from the cave known as Grassveil. Rai realized that, if he could join this guild, he could become a true hero and help others from across the world. After thanking his parents and everybody in the cave for all of their support, he left the cave in search of Grassveil Town. His path to erase evil from the world had begun...

» Other: This was originally the unfinished character Huska the Litwick, but I lost the motivation to finish him so I remade him into Rai.



Last edited by allymender on Fri Jan 01, 2016 5:30 am; edited 12 times in total (Reason for editing : Remaking my character into a new pokemon with a different personality.)
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Lazarus Rex

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Sun Nov 22, 2015 8:44 pm


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) PERSONALITY
Please include a bit more to your personality than they're simpy shy, timid, and weak.

2.) NATURAL FEATS
I'd imagine that a Litwick can control this ability to life drain completely, unless he was say never taught how or had some pokemon-disability. Also this ability will never have an effect on an energy system, and I doubt a litwick can just suddenly drain an entire pokemon's life force. I'd imagine that it's a very slow and weak process where being exposed to a litwick for about a month would result in death.

3.) LIKES/DISLIKES
Please avoid obvious answers such as having friends or being bullied. A large majority of people are like that out there, and it'd be more noteworthy if they liked being bullied and didn't like having friends.

4.) HISTORY
You're going to need more history than that. How was his life normal? What made him realize he was weak? Why did he not see it before? Please go into more detail and don't leave anything to 'suddenly this happened for some reason'.

5.) EGG MOVE
As a friendly reminder you're allowed to have one egg move.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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allymender

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:10 am

Sometime tomorrow, I plan to fix this up some. Can't wait to rp here!
Also, the only reason I didn't include egg moves were because he already had 4 moves at level 5. Maybe I'll replace astonish with an egg move.

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Last edited by allymender on Mon Nov 23, 2015 4:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Did I say minimize? I meant astonish.)
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Lazarus Rex

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Posts : 6541
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Join date : 2012-11-18
Age : 20
Location : In the land of not caring.

PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Wed Nov 25, 2015 6:52 pm


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER
Remember that you're going to need to portray this properly. Be sure that you have done plenty of research on this before you go about roleplaying this. Use trustworthy sites and stay away from things like Wikipedia and Yahoo Answers.

2.) SECOND PERSONALITY
You're going to have to talk about this personality in the personality section as well. It seems very last minute to your character and added on just to be edgy. Try making it flow better with the character and tie it in to the biography a bit more.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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allymender

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:59 am

It's not really another personality, it's more like a voice in his head. I hadn't really thought about it being interpreted like that. Was my wording confusing?

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:49 am


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) SPECIES
The information you entered is incorrect, double check the Pokedex #.

2.) MOVES
Nothing wrong, just making sure you want to use Gust as the egg move. There're a bunch of different moves Zubat gets as egg moves to choose from.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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allymender

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:19 pm

Fixed everything. Was gonna settle for Gust, but figured that all the other egg moves were probably better. Except maybe Quick Attack.

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PostSubject: Re: Rai the Zubat   Sat Jan 02, 2016 5:43 pm


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Character has been APPROVED!
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