Lord E V Lord of the Eevees
Posts : 3440 Poké : 9495 Join date : 2014-07-12 Location : Nibiru
| Subject: Fenris Volq the Melanistic Glaceon(Eevee) Fri Apr 01, 2016 11:11 pm | |
| » Name: Fenris Volq » Sex: Male » Gender: Male » Species: #471, Glaceon, the Fresh Snow Pokemon(Evolution stone provided from my own inventory) » Affiliation: Wandering Free Spirit/Chaotic Neutral
» Level: 5 » Energy: 25 » Ability: Snow Cloak » Moves: - Tackle(Level 1) - Ice Beam(TM from my own inventory) - Toxic(TM from my own inventory) - Synchronoise(Egg move, Causes his body to vibrate with Psychic energy that is syncd up to other Ice-types, which makes his attacks Psychic-type and only affect Ice-types while it is active.)
» Natural Feats: -Ice Quills: Glaceon can freeze their fur into sharp needles in order to help protect themselves. They can then fire the needle-fur as projectiles. -Temperature Spiking: Glaceon can reduce the temperature of the area around them by reducing their own body temperature. They can lower the temperature to the point that it freezes the water in the air around them.
» Personality: Fenris isn't very old. In fact, he is still a child, though not quite a baby. He is old enough to take care of himself, but certainly not "grown up," mentally nor physically. His short life so far has been filled to the brim with misery, and because of this, his mental state has absolutely fallen apart. His perception of reality is warped unimaginably. He has unipolar mania, meaning nearly everything is either "neutral" or "funny" to him, making him appear utterly insane. He is nearly entirely incapable of feeling sadness, though anger is a bit more plausible. Agitation is common, but that normally fades quickly, replaced with either neutrality or joy.
Depending on how bad his mania is at any given moment, he could appear completely normal, absolutely manic, or anything in between. It's also possible for him to turn rather psychotic at times. He can have a rather short temper that can result in short bursts of physical aggression. On the flip-side, if he's in a particularly manic state, it's entirely possible for him to be unfazed by things that would normally anger him. Regardles of the reason, his more psychotic moods tend not to last long, let alone long enough for him to seriously hurt anyone. However, one thing to note is that his thoughts rush and he cannot keep up with them when he is like this, so it isn't likely that he will be able to stop himself until he calms down naturally unless something snaps him out of it.
Despite how mentally wracked and unhinged he is, he's usually very happy and fun-loving. He can be kind as well, but that really depends on who he's talking to. He has trouble discerning what is and isn't appropriate to say and will sometimes simply speak without thinking, so it's quite easy for him to push touchy subjects or say something offensive without even realizing it. Anyone who enjoys playing games, having fun, doing everything at a fast pace, or just being around someone who never seems to be sad would likely get alone great with him. However, he tends not to take things seriously and to instead treat life as more of a game, which could become agitating to some.
Due to his youthful and feminine voice on top of already being one of the most feminine-looking evolutions of an eevee, it isn't too difficult to confuse him for a girl. If this happens, he's entirely willing to just play along, at least for a while. Being called a girl doesn't bother him at all. In fact, it's rather funny to him, like many things are. He doesn't take it as an insult and doesn't really understand why anyone else cares about such things.
Fenris does have a bit of a moral compass, though it's more of a game he plays than anything else. The "compass" is a list of rules he made for himself in the hopes of staying "good," but now, he doesn't care whether or not he's good most of the time. It's simply a fun game he plays to see how strictly he can follow these rules. There is an unpleasant feeling he gets when he breaks a "rule," almost like sadness, but it tends to go away quickly if he just ignores it. It's as if there is a part of his mind that wants to follow the rules for more than just fun, and that is because there is. He subconsciously cares about the wishes of his past self.
Rule One: be kind. Always give someone a chance, and never assume the worst of them. Fenris has no problem with this rule unless someone somehow instantly comes off as unpleasant to him. It is fairly easy for him to follow this one most of the time, though if someone's a buzzkill, he dislikes having to give them a chance. He'll still do it.... usually, but he will hope the entire time that they do something to allow him to void this rule. In general, if someone does something regarded as "bad" or shows open hostility for no reason, he considers it reason enough to not be kind to them.
Rule Two: be social. Make as many friends as possible. This rule was originally intended by Fenris to stop himself from becoming antisocial, but he's ended up unnaturally social, so there really isn't any need for it. Still, he tries to follow it as much as he can, which is quite easy. It's so easy, in fact, that he is disappointed at it even being on the list. Sure, he doesn't want to be friends with everyone he comes across, but if someone comes off as unappealing to him, he can just go find someone else to be social with! It isn't even a challenge.
Rule Three: be helpful. If someone is in trouble, do everything possible to help them. If someone's life is at risk, save them. This is Fenris' favorite rule, because it can bypass the other rules. He doesn't have to be kind to someone if they're attacking someone else. He doesn't have to avoid conflict if someone's in trouble. The lives of total strangers don't really matter much to him, but Rule Three is often an excuse to have some fun, and an excuse he is more than willing to use. As far as he is concerned, this rule takes priority over the rest.
Rule Four: avoid conflict. This is the rule Fenris has the most trouble with. He enjoys debates and rough-housing, though what is a debate or innocent game to him could be a hateful argument or violent fight to someone else. It's difficult for him to restrain himself at times, but he usually manages. It is easily his least-favorite rule, as well as the one he breaks the most. He isn't particularly violent, but he certainly breaks this rule more often s rule more often than the others.
Rule Five: stay alive. At one point, this was the most important rule, as it was meant to help him keep his will to live. Now, he barely even understands why it's on the list. It can limit how much fun he feels he's allowed to have at times, since he's not supposed to risk his life if he can avoid it, but it's generally pretty easy to follow. He literally just has to not die. He can do anything that isn't dying and just like that, he's following this rule. He feels his past self is a bit silly for adding such a trivial thing to the list, but nonetheless, he tries to take it seriously. However, he often puts it at a lower priority than the others when it conflicts with them.
Fenris has a tie between his visual memory and muscle memory. What this means is that he can copy actions he sees in others flawlessly with little-to-no practice, as long as his body is capable of them. He can't quite copy moves, nor can he copy anything he simply cannot do, such as a feat of strength or a punch.... with the fists he doesn't have. However, if his body is capable of something, he can generally do it flawlessly after watching someone else perform the actions only once.
» Likes: Energy - As he is manic and prefers to always be doing something - and doing it fast - Fenris prefers to be around others who are hyperactive and in situations with lots of energy. He doesn't like having to wait for others or even for the world itself.
"Morality" - While Fenris no longer feels much of a sense of morality if any, he still respects his past morals, trying to stick to them. He considers his "rules" as more of a game, one that he feels worse for losing than a normal game.. He also views his past moral compass as a way to help him stay away from situations that could get him into trouble with others. Even if he doesn't care much about whether he's "good" or "bad," he still prefers to avoid trouble if possible.
Fun - Being a manic child, Fenris enjoys having fun a bit more than the average 'mon. He can become bored incredibly easy and thus, tries to entertain himself as much as possible. Typical children's games are generally enough to entertain him, as he is still a child. However, he can also be entertained by just talking to someone if they interest him. Some other things can entertain him as well, such as fighting.
Children - Being a child himself, Fenris is more comfortable around other kids. He views adults as signs of rules, and while he'll give them a chance, he generally assumes they're going to be killjoys if they act grown-up.
Fighting - His "rules" say no fighting, but he finds rough-housing to be fun. He has trouble distinguishing between a life-threatening fight and simple playing, though.
» Neutral: Verbal Conflict - Oddly enough, he doesn't care about getting into arguments. His "moral" rules dictate to avoid arguments unless someone else starts it and has no good reason to, but it's very difficult to actually bother him with things such a insults. He does enjoy arguing at times, but even then, he still tries to avoid it. Usually.
Relaxation - Fenris dislikes being bored, but a bit of relaxation time every once in a while is something he's okay with. As long as it's not too much, it can even be nice every once in a while.
» Dislikes: Slowness - Fenris despises anything slow. His mania causes him to always want to be entertained, which generally involves having everything keep up with the fast pace his mind is adjusted to. If things are slow, he will be likely to get bored easily.
Sleep - There's so much to do, and he hates not being able to do it all. Sleep is almost half of his life, which could be spent doing things other than sleeping! He hates all of the time lost doing literally nothing because his body needs such trivial things as "sleep." Due to this, he often stays up late and tends to be tired, though it rarely affects his mood.
Reminders of the past - Of the few things that can consistently bring about any sadness in him, this is the most potent. While he's normally very happy and carefree, being reminded of his past can turn him far more.... serious.
Others being upset - He hates to see anyone he doesn't "dislike" sad, mostly due to his game of morals. However, he also doesn't want anyone to ever end up feeling how he felt unless they really deserve it. Even in his less-than-sane state, he still cares enough to prevent those he is fond of from feeling negativity.
Negativity - Negativity in general has a tendency to bring about memories of his negative past for reasons that should be obvious given the correlation. On top of that, it makes others upset. Both of these are issues for him, and so he tries to avoid negative situations despite the situations themselves generally not bothering him.
Rules - The only rules he is interested in following are his own. If someone else's "rules" happen to coincide with what he already wants, he won't go out of his way to be rebellious, but he won't just sit back and do whatever everyone tells him.
Blood - Blood reminds Fenris of his past. His own blood in specific also terrifies him. He generally doesn't fear dying, but seeing himself bleed changes that. Blood-tears do not count, though, as they aren't really a sign of injury for him.
» History:
- Reader Discretion is advised:
- No, really:
Fenris' mother was an outlaw named Synnia Volq, though she went by "Syn" for short. She was not an outlaw by choice, but rather, an explorer who met an unfortunate fate. As a ninetales, she often went to places that were either very hot or very cold, as her body was built to handle extreme temperatures. Heat actually felt good to her while her body was warm enough to fend off the cold. So, when she heard of ruins in the Icy Lands, she just couldn't help but go take a look at them. She hadn't heard any warnings about the Snowcloak Ruins, just that they seemed worth exploring.
After a considerably difficult venture, the ninetales ended up within the chambers of the ruins, where she figured treasure would be. While she was technically right, it hadn't been quite the kind of treasure she'd wanted. The first thing she touched latched onto her body and bound itself to her, which happened to be a cloak. Since that day, she had an ever-present bloodlust, and time after time, she conceded to it. This turned her from a proud explorer into a simple outlaw. She was quickly reduced to having to steal to survive as she could no longer make a living through any legitimate means.
Sometimes, Syn would try to fight the bloodlust the cloak gave her. Sometimes, she would just let it take hold of her being. She occasionally got into moods in which she wanted to get the cloak off, but it would then proceed to warp her mental state in such a way that she wanted to keep it. There was no escape from the soul-sucking cloak that corrupted her mind and stole away her life. Eventually, she just accepted the life as an outlaw and began taking the name "Syn" more literally, considering herself the living embodiment of sin and refusing to acknowledge herself by any other name.
Fenris' father was nothing like his mother. Xizo had been a dead-beat as an eevee, and upon evolving into a leafeon, that only got much worse. He did as little as possible, which often included not eating and instead just absorbing sunlight for long periods of time. It wasn't uncommon for him to just find a nice, sunny rock and lay on it for extended periods of time. No, not hours, but DAYS. He would sometimes remain completely motionless until sunlight alone wasn't enough to sustain him. If there was particularly low light for whatever reason, he would often have to get up just for the sake of not dying, but this was only as a last resort.
Yes, Xizo's life was literally doing nothing, and he loved it. He knew exactly what that made him - a deadbeat - and did not care in the slightest. He had no last name, mostly because he'd been alone his entire life and given himself his only name. Why had he chosen something as odd as Xizo? Simply because it sounded cool. He didn't mind being alone, as it meant he had no attachments and no one relying on him. In other words, he had absolutely nothing to do with his life other than just waste it away being more plant than flesh.
Despite all of this, Xizo was extremely calm and accepting of others. This would have easily made him many friends if not for the fact that he didn't really care about making friends. For years, he kept to his routine of doing absolutely nothing, and not once did he complain. Not once did he consider love or even friendship with anyone; attachments were merely binds to limit how much he would be able to slack off, anyway. However, when he met Syn, his outlook on such topics changed.
The two met under odd circumstances. Syn had gotten herself into a fight with some random quagsire in the hope of sating her bloodlust, and despite the type disadvantage, she was winning. There was just something about the derpy expression and general posture of the quagsire that'd sent her over the edge and into rage. It was really all the cloak's doing, but she felt better blaming the derpy-looking blue thing for its own inevitable demise. Xizo happened to be in the area to overhear the commotion and, as the good guy he was supposed to be, decided to intervene.
Rather than join in the fighting, Xizo focused primarily on talking. He did not recognize the ninetales as an outlaw as he didn't pay any mind to news or anything of the sort, but he could tell she was the aggressor, so he focused primarily on trying to talk her down. The ninetales didn't want to harm anyone other than her intended target, which the leafeon used to his advantage by using himself as a living shield in order to cease the fighting. After forcing Syn to talk, Xizo learned she felt like she "had" to take a life, so he decided on a solution....
"Then take me instead. I've no ties, no goals, no aspirations. Dying would be like a permanent nap, so I don't mind."
But it never happened. For the first time in a long time, Syn felt the desire to resist her bloodlust for this leafeon. The cloak tried to warp her mind into obeying, but she resisted with all her being. No one had ever done anything like this, and she simply coulnd't imagine hurting someone so selfless. Her initial reaction to this was to turn tail and run, run from the feeling of guilt that had surfaced after being able to suppress it for so long. However, later that night, she took to looking for the leafeon. She was in a more clear state of mind, and she now held the hope that the fox could act as a moral compass for her.
After looking nearly everywhere, she was about to give up, when she found the guy sleeping on a rock near the area they'd first met. A rock. He was sleeping on a rock. The ninetales sighed at such a baffling display of resilience in ability to sleep on a rock. She then gently woke the leafeon up.... by yelling in his ear. This initially flipped Xizo out, but once he realized what was going on, he calmed down fairly quickly. The two had a brief talk in which Xizo was astoundingly willing to just sit and chat with someone who'd admitted to being a murderer, and before even hearing the whole story, agreed to be the guiding compass for the ninetales.
It seemed easy enough to just occasionally talk someone out of genocide, and while he was lazy, he wasn't quite lazy enough to render morality void. Thus, the two began spending more time together, as in pretty much every second of every day. It was very clingy, but Xizo didn't mind. Syn couldn't stand being under the constant influence of the cloak, so she was willing to stick around some random, nice guy if it meant suppressing the bloodlust. Besides, she soon learned Xizo was actually rather kind, albeit extremely lazy. Similarly, Xizo began to see more than the murderous outlaw side of the ninetales as time went on.
After a few slip-ups in which Syn tried to attack someone and was talked down by Xizo, the two began to grow more comfortable with each other. They talked about their lives - one of which was far more eventful than the other - and learned that they were more than a lazy hobo and a psychotic murderer. Okay, Xizo still thought of himself as a lazy hobo and Syn still thought of herself as a psychotic murderer, but at least they thought positively of each other if not themselves.
Xizo suggested for Syn to remove the cloak only once. He found that she became very hostile under such a request, and while she apologized many times later on, the leafeon didn't dare try it again. It wasn't about the safety of others anymore, as he was beginning to care about Syn in specific. As he learned more of the ninetales' past and got to see more of her true personality, he grew attached to her in a way he'd never experienced. He wanted to protect Syn. He loved her.
Synnia had been feeling something similar; her dependency had developed into appreciation and trust, which was turning into love. So, when Xizo confessed his feelings, they were reciprocated. For a while afterwards, the cloak's influence on Syn was minor, and for the first time in a long time, she was happy. Not too long after, a healthy eevee was born. Healthy? Well, they assumed he was healthy, even though he was black. They both knew it wasn't extremely out-there for an eevee to be born more of a grayish color instead of brown, but pure black was.... different, to say the least. On top of that, they learned very quickly that even extremely minor injuries caused this eevee to bleed profusely.
They hoped the child, whom they'd named Fenris, would be alright. However, the first time his eyes bled made them think they would be wrong. This happened a few more times before they finally decided it wasn't doing any harm and just stopped worrying about it. Since they didn't live in a town, they didn't have to worry about their child being made fun of for being black and crying blood. This also meant young Fenris didn't get to socialize much, but that wasn't something that really bothered him. He was actually a fairly quiet and shy child, best described as "antisocial." He was willing to talk to others if he needed to, but he never really went out of his way to do so, and he was happy just being around his parents all the time.
Fenris was forced to be a bit more social than he preferred when the twins came. After his birth, his parents had two more children, neither of which had the.... issues he had. Both of them were perfectly healthy vulpix, which made his parents assume whatever genes created him had come from his father. He actually got along well with his two siblings despite how little he liked socializing, and even how little they had in common. The two vulpix were both female, but they weren't interested in anything extremely girly, so they weren't awkward for Fenris to be around. His mother claimed the right of naming the two, since his father had named him and Syn found the name to be.... silly. The names she picked out were Lila and Revo, which she described as "So much less edgy, your names are creepy, you're not allowed to name any more of our children."
For a while, everything was great. Syn was able to keep herself under control, though she had to avoid anything social in the slightest since she was still an outlaw. This meant Xizo had to do anything that involved going into town, which meant he had to do things. He didn't like having to do things, but the bliss of being a true plant had long since left his life, and he had come to terms with this. Fenris slowly learned how to be more social thanks to his two siblings, though he still tended to avoid socializing with any other kids if the chance ever arose. His parents tried to wash the blood-stains off of his face for a while, but they eventually gave up since red wasn't even very noticeable on black fur and no matter what they did, the stains would just come back soon after when he bled again.
Then came the fighting. It started out as more of just arguments between his parents, though it was always very one-sided, with his mother yelling about things he didn't understand and his father trying to calm her down. Fenris didn't know what was going on, but it was the cloak his mother always wore that was causing her to become so aggressive. After such a long time resisting its influence, it was beginning to become too difficult for her. Still, his father always managed to diffuse the situation before anything bad happpened, and other than that, the two still got along fine. Aside from occasional outbursts, they were just as loving toward each other as they'd always been.
Syn's aggressive snaps soon began to turn physical, with her attempting to lash out at anyone she could find who wasn't a member of her family. This forced Xizo to constantly stick by her, steering her away from living things. She agreed to this being the best course of action, but eventually, she began to lash out at the only thing she could.... One night, while the children were sleeping, Syn attacked Xizo. The leafeon refused to fight and attempted to talk his dearly beloved out of her blood-rage, but she seemed entirely gone and impossible to reason with.
The commotion from the two woke up all three children, though two including Fenris hid rather than attempt to stop it. The brave soul who decided to stop her parents from fighting was Revo, while Fenris and Lila cowered. She got between the two and, seeing her mother as the aggressor, begged her to stop and attempted to hug her. For a moment, Syn seemed like she was going to stop.... then she latched her mouth onto the vulpix's throat and tossed her into a large rock. The child was killed instantly, and all while her siblings watched in fear from the cover of a bush they had chosen. But this wasn't the end of the horror.
At this point, Xizo became willing to fight for the first time in his life. He didn't really care much if he died, but his children were a different story. He revealed himself to be an extremely capable fighter, dancing around and deflecting the ninetales' attacks by using his tail as a Leaf Blade. Anything that wasn't fire-based, he was able to stop and overpower. But, Syn was stronger, and she eventually managed to catch the leafeon's tail in her mouth and pull him off his paws. She placed her paw on Xizo's chest, pinning him to the ground, and stared at him with a soulless glare.
"I still think you can stop.... I know this isn't your fault, and I believe you can fi-" Xizo's last words were spend trying to convince Synnia to stop, to no avail. Her maw lit on fire and she unleashed a torrent of flames, coating the ground around both of them and completely obscuring them from view. Xizo's tears were burned away; his screams of agony rang through the sounds of the flames before dying out within ten seconds. The flamethrower ceased with the cries, though the ground around the two remained ablaze. The leafeon's body was darkened from the flames; the leafy parts were flaming and the fur had been heavily burned. Yet through nothing more than his body's own resilience, he was still breathing.
Syn's jaws lit ablaze as she wrapped them around Xizo's neck and bit down. There was a snap, then the sound of the body being dropped to the ground.... then silence. The flames covering the ground died down, the cracking sounds being slowly replaced with whimpers. Fenris was horrified, standing frozen and staring with wide as from his hiding place. He was crying pure, clear tears for the first time. His body took an idle step toward the scene before he was pulled away by his sister. Lila managed to snap him out of the trance he was in so that he could flee with her, and the two ran until they were no longer capable of it.
The siblings never went back to their crazed mother, and they never saw her again. Being children, they struggled to survive on their own. They became skilled in the art of hiding from everything that seemed even remotely capable of harming them, and for a while, they did okay. Lila was better at finding food and didn't stick out quite as much as a black eevee, so she was usually the one to do the foraging and split up whatever she could find. The two didn't talk much, and while this wasn't unusual for Fenris, it was a total 180 for his sister. Lila had always been the most energetic of the siblings, and now, she was even quieter than Fenris.
They moved from place to place as they tried to find somewhere with enough food and safety to call a home. Towns didn't work since they had no money, and most other areas were full of ferals or, perhaps worse, outlaws. Even though they never found a place in which they were comfortable staying, they managed to get by. Or at least, Fenris thought they were getting by. What he didn't know was that his sister had been sacrificing food for him, slowly starving herself in the proess. Lila couldn't find enough food for both of them, so she'd been just giving most of it to her brother. She kept this to herself until finally.... she died. It was only then that Fenris realized what had been happening. Sure, he'd noticed his sister getting skinny, but he had just assumed that she was sick. It wasn't until her last moments that she explained what she had been doing.
Her last words stuck in Fenris' mind: "You should live.... You're a nice brother."
So that was it. He was a lone eevee with no family and no friends. He had no survival skills, little combat ability, and little will to go on. At that point, he just stopped caring about protecting himself and began walking blindly, only ever stopping when he had to. This eventually ended up putting him in the Icy Lands, where he was immediately met with the harsh and freezing weather. Most would have turned back upon realizing they were anywhere near such harsh terrain, but he really didn't care, so he just kept on walking. He walked until his paws went numb and his body gave out on him. The melanistic eevee collapsed in the snow, and at that time, he wasn't afraid of what happened next. After a while of laying in the freezing snow, the cold feeling began to go away, being replaced with a sensation of warmth.
At one point, Fenris thought he was hearing voices, or rather a single voice. It sounded close to him. The voice stopped after a while, so he just assumed he had imgined it. A bit more time passed as he allowed the cold to take him....
....Then a rock hit his head. The voice hadn't motivated him to get up, but being hit in the head with something made him curious, and he was certain it'd been real. When he looked up, the first thing he was was a blue, icy stone in front of his face. He was confused, to say the least. Then he looked a bit higher and saw a quilava staring down at him. The two just locked eyes and stared at each other in a moment of awkward silence before the quilava spoke up.
"Touch the frickin' stone. I didn't go all the way back to my den to get my prized posession just for you to ignore it and freeze to death."
He continued to stare absently, confused as to what was being asked of him. The quilava had a feminine voice, so he assumed it was a girl. However, he had no clue why it wanted him to touch the stone, or how that was supposed to help him not freeze to death. He felt fine, anyway; warm, even!
"ARE YOU DEAF? Use the stone before I change my mind!" the quilava abruptly shouted.
Fenris had no clue what he was doing, but he reached a paw out and touched the stone. For a moment, nothing happened and he was just really confused. Then his entire body started to glow vibrantly. He would have freaked out if not for how little he cared about anything at that moment in time. When the glow subsided, he was much larger and the stone was gone. At that, he felt.... cold, though it no longer felt like a bad thing. He knew what evolution was, but he wasn't entirely sure what he'd just evolved into. Luckily, the quilava stuck around to explain it to him and even offered him a place to stay.
He didn't talk much, but he did manage to exchange greetings with the Fire-type, whom he learned was named Azril. She took him back to the cave she lived in, and after a lot of prying, finally managed to get him to talk about himself. He tried to explain his life, but he merely began crying shortly into the talk, at which point Azril stopped prying. One thing that confused him a bit was that the quilava wasn't weirded out or even confused by his red tears. When asked, she simply said she didn't care.
Over the next few days, Fenris slowly warmed up to the quilava, not that he really had much choice with how much the girl loved to talk and how pushy she was about him talking back. He was basically forced to socialize. He learned that Azril was also alone, though she had been abandoned, so it was a bit different from his own situation. Still, with how open Azril was about her life, this made Fenris feel obligated to talk about his. So he tried again, this time getting a bit further before breaking into tears. Then he told a little more the next day, again having to stop before he could explain much of it. Azril then insisted that if he was going to just cry every time, she didn't want him to tell her anything about his life.
After a while of staying together, Azril decided to teach Fenris how to fight. She was surprised at how fast he picked things up, which was usually instantly. Before long, what had once been a helpless eevee had turned into a glaceon with some hope of survival. However, shortly after, she learned of one very important thing. During a training session, Fenris ended up with a moderately small wound, which bled. And bled, and bled. Azril eventually managed to stop the bleeding, and after learning that Fenris had issues with bleedng, she kept in mind to be more careful in the future. There were no future incidents involving bleeding during spars, which was good, as Fenris had almost died from blood loss.
As the two grew closer together, Fenris started smiling again, and Azril began to develop feelings for him. Being the very open type she was, as soon as she was certain, she announced that she loved him. At first, the glaceon was a bit confused. "Like... family?" he questioned, trying to understand what his friend meant by "love."
"Ew, no, that's.... don't make this weird. More like.... you know, like.... a couple," Azril clarified.
This explanation made it a lot easier for Fenris to understand. He knew what being a couple meant. And more importantly, he felt the same way; he'd been developing a crush on the quilava, as he was old enough to start feeling such things. So, he admitted that he felt the same, and the two.... Well, they didn't really change much. Everything was mostly the same as it had been between them, just with a title of "more than friends" put on it. For a while, Fenris was able to put his past behind him and live happy, but like all good things in his life, that had to come to an end eventually.
Azril had sent Fenris out to do some errands, which was normal. He didn't want to just be a burden and live off Azril without helping out, after all. It'd been a normal day just like any other. When he got back to the cave, he found that everything there had been stolen. Valuables, food, everything. But more importantly, rather than being greeted by the one spark of hope in his life, he was met with a bloody corpse. Someone had come while he was gone, ransacked his home, and killed Azril. It was at that moment that he felt himself truly break.
For a few hours, the glaceon cried over the corpse. His tears turned to blood minutes in due to how much his eyes were being irritated, and he actually began to feel lightheaded from blood loss and stress after a while. Not that it mattered to him. When he finally lost the will to even cry, he just stood up and left. His mind felt hazy and he just wanted to collapse, but he felt obligated to keep trying to live due to everyone who'd helped him. They were all dead. In his mind, the only way he could possibly honor them was to live, as they had all wanted him to. Still, every step felt heavy, and he found himself wishing that someone else had been the one to survive. He found himself regretting a lot of things he'd done in his life.
The first thing he regretted was so willingly leaving Azril alone. He felt with his entire being that her death was his fault, that if he'd just been there, he could have saved there. Or perhaps if he had offered to clean while Azril went out on errands instead, he would have been the one to die. He preferred the thought of losing his own life over the reality he'd been faced with. At least the other way around, the one he'd cared about would be alive, and he wouldn't have to deal with the grief of his own death. Sure, he had no idea how much it would have hurt, but he didn't care.
The next thing he found himself regretting was not realizing sooner that Lila was starving herself for his sake. She'd grown progressifly skinnier and weaker, and never ate in front of him, so it should have been obvious! If only he'd noticed, he could have pressured her to eat more. Maybe they could have split the food evenly and both survived, even if just barely. If not, then he could have convinced Lila to take more of the food, then at least she would have been the one to live. He was an antisocial, hopeless wreck who was probably going to end up bleeding out somewhere anyway.
The next thing on the list was his other sister, Revo. If he'd been brave enough to stand up to his mother, perhaps she would have stopped. Maybe three would have been just enough to calm her down. Or maybe he could have at least dragged Revo away from the scene. He could have saved her, and then maybe she could have helped with foraging and Lila wouldn't have died. In this state of mind, he found it quite easy to decide that it was all his fault and he was getting exactly what he deserved.
Then came the worst one. Fenris decided that since his mother had lashed out so violently, this clearly meant she hadn't loved the rest of his family enough not to. She hadn't loved him enough to not do what she'd done, which meant he hadn't been a good enough, lovable enough son. In the end, he decided this was his fault as well, on top of everything else. But this wasn't the end of his spiral into madness.
As the glaceon wandered aimlessly through the cold terrain, stumbling over himself in his disoriented state, his feelings began to change. He began to think of how kind everyone had been to him, and how they would all have still been alive if they would have just left him to die. "Revo, you idiot.... You just had to be the hero, didn't you!? You just had to leave me...." he raved on out loud, not caring if anyone heard. There was no one around to hear him, but that didn't matter.
"Lila thought she was being nice.... YOU WEREN'T, LILA! YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE!" he continued yelling at nothing in particular. The white landscape only helped to further his rapid loss of sanity, giving him nothing noteworthy to cling on to and focus on. "And Azril, you.... should have left me." he muttered, truly beginning to hope someone was listening to him. He wanted to know he was talking to someone, that his blaming was being heard by the intended audience.
"I DIDN'T WANT YOUR HELP! You.... you would have been fine without me!" he shouted into the distance. The glaceon looked up to the sky, at the thick clouds and the falling snow.... then collapsed into a sobbing heap. He whined and cried, muttering to himself, just allowing the madness to take hold of him. It was beginning to feel good, and almost felt like he could stop crying, like perhaps he could live with that kind of hate inside of him. Then he realized what he was doing, what he was thinking, and what he was implying. He was still a child, but he understood the concept of what was happening.
He was losing his mind.
"I.... I'm sorry," he muttered, just in case anyone was listening. He knew no one was there.
Fenris didn't want to be insane. He didn't want to turn into someone "bad," and he knew that was exactly what was happening. He could feel himself slipping, just wanting to hurt something, maybe even do worse.... The glaceon then stood up and started walking again, hoping that not laying motionless would somehow help him cling to reality. In an attempt to keep himself lucid and away from the darkness, he began chanting anything good that came to his mind. After a while, these chants turned into "rules" that he started demanding for himself to follow.
"Rule one: be kind. Be nice to everyone, always give everyone a chance, don't blame them.... Don't blame them. It's not their fault. I know it's not.... Everyone's nice to me, everyone's always been nice to me, I have to do the same. They'd.... want me to," he rambled on to himself. This repetition had a few more "rules" that he was insistently repeating to himself. Over and over again, repeating the rules was how he spent that day.
"Rule two: be social. I've always been bad at that, haven't I? But I have to try. Everyone else was social, they've always had to be the conversation starters. I can't be a burden, I can't make everyone have to start, right?" And the next day, he began chanting the rules again. He could still feel himself slipping away, but he never once stopped reminding himself of the "correct" way to live. It was the way everyone else had taught him, so it had to be right.
"Rule three: be helpful. Never let anyone have to do something on their own if they don't deserve it. I can't let them get hurt, especially not because of me. Never let them.... die. Never be afraid to help someone again." He eventually stopped sobbing through his repititions of the rules. It wasn't because he was getting better, though. It was because he was getting worse. The rules were starting to mean less to him, and he began to think of them more as a game.
"Rule four: don't fight. Why can't I fight? I know why I can't fight. Fighting's bad.... heh. It's against the rules. Why? Because I said so. I can't fight and be kind at the same time. I can't fight and be helpful. I might die if I fight. I wish I could, though, hah. Aheheh." His mind was falling back into the state that he'd tried to avoid. The repitition of his rules was now doing nothing to help his freefall into insanity. However, he retained the need to follow the rules, and this only grew stronger the more he repeated them.
"Rule five: stay alive. I don't really know why he made this rule. Heheh, he's such an idiot. Or he was. I was? I'm an idiot, HAH! Yeah, I guess I am! Hehahah! He thought he'd die.... he thought I'd die. I thought I'd die. I thought I'd die, but nothing wants to kill me! Pffffffft, why would I die!?" Days turned into months, and eventually, Fenris lost his mind entirely. He was turned into the polar opposite of who he had originally been: giggly and unhinged from reality, with little care for others or for morals. At this point, the rules weren't just a game, LIFE was a game.
"Rule one: be kind. Rule two: be social. That one's easy. Rule three: be helpful. Rule four: don't fight. Oh, oh, but that one doesn't matter if it'd break another rule!"
"Rule five: .... This one's so stupid. Why'd I ever think this'd be a challenge?"
» Other: He has haemophilia, meaning his blood does not clot correctly and causes him to bleed excessively from wounds, making even relatively mild wounds potentially life-threatening without something to stop the bleeding. This also causes haemolacria; blood tears, most commonly due to internal bleeding in tear ducts. It can be caused by getting something in his eyes, rubbing his eyes, head trauma (even mild,) eye stress, crying, and sometimes with no evident reason at all. It isn't uncommon for him to bleed internally either, even spontaneously, though he doesn't have life-threatening internal bleeds without some significant external damage.
Due to the haemolacria, his face is often stained with red marks that run down from his eyes. He has long since given up on trying to clear the blood when it shows, as he no longer really cares about it.
He has melanism, causing his fur and skin to be colored grey. This makes him pretty much immune to sunburn if the fur didn't already do that, but it also causes him to absorb a lot more light than a normal glaceon, making standing in the sun very hot.
He is short for a glaceon, due to a combination of natural shortness and still being fairly young. Also due to being young, he has a slightly feminine voice, which can get him confused for a girl.
(Note; while this character is indeed the edgiest there ever was, I did my research to make sure he is accurately edgy, in every mental and physical aspect. I've also made sure everything is okay with the admins. Paying 5,000 - the equivalent of a Shiny - for the melanism.)
Last edited by Lord E V on Mon Aug 27, 2018 3:43 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
|