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 Adopting Ariel the Taillow

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Frebedor

Frebedor

Posts : 308
Poké : 1013
Join date : 2018-03-17
Age : 28

Adopting Ariel the Taillow Empty
PostSubject: Adopting Ariel the Taillow   Adopting Ariel the Taillow EmptyWed Jun 26, 2019 2:21 pm

» Name: Ariel
» Gender: Female
» Species: Taillow
» Affiliation/Rank: None

» Why do you want to adopt them?: I still think she looks interesting and fun to roleplay. Since I didn't elaborate enough last time about my interest in her personality, I see a lot of potential for development with Ariel. I'm used to playing goody-goodies such as Opal, but I like the contrast I see here and think this is a challenge I can take on. Also, there don't seem to be that many performer characters on the site, and we could use a bit of variety, don't you think?

» Sample of roleplay:

One step forward, one to the side, spread the wings, twirl… Ariel was practicing a dance she wanted to perform in front of her friends as part of her newest play. It was so nice of them to come and watch her shows, she thought happily. The taillow knew she was talented and had good friends who recognised her potential. It never occurred to her that they might be turning up out of a sense of obligation. Everyone got along swimmingly, right? There were other friends she’d lost touch with, but they must just have been busy. Their loss, Ariel supposed. They wouldn’t be able to attend the party she wanted to throw when she inevitably became rich and famous. It would be a splendid affair, with fine food and shiny objects everywhere.

Ariel hopped and twirled some more before finishing her rehearsal for the day. It has gone well, apart from the fact that no one had been there to watch her. It pained her to practice alone, especially on a day like today. This was the key part of her play she was perfecting here! It’s this scene they should have been more excited about than any other! Ariel’s friends had told her they would be busy with other things, but it didn’t stop the feelings of sadness. The little taillow craved attention, and despite their valid excuses, couldn’t help wondering if they’d stopped caring.

To make matters worse, rain had started to come down in a light drizzle. Not only was Ariel alone, but she was now getting wet and cold! It was as if the universe itself was telling her she was small and insignificant, but that couldn’t be right! She simply had to be in the spotlight! She would find someone to fund her endeavours, she would! It hadn’t happened yet, though, so she would have to be thrifty. No matter, the young bird thought, she loved hunting for a bargain. Maybe she could gather up some of her best buddies and go exploring, too. All manner of shiny things were bound to be discovered on a trip to a mystery dungeon.

Her best buddies who were too busy to catch up with her, the flighty fledgling moped as she returned to reality. Well, she’d just have to find new ones and go exploring with them. When it wasn’t raining, of course. Ariel could think of little worse than being stuck in a mystery dungeon, surrounded by feral pokemon, her feathers wet and tethering her to the ground. Why couldn’t it always be warm and sunny? Life would be so much easier then, so much more comfortable. Nice weather made it easier to catch up with friends, too.

Ariel shivered and tried to shake some of the water from her feathers. It was time to go home before the weather got worse. She would have to collect some extra grass for her nest first, though. It was inconvenient that she’d have to dry the blades first, yet another reason to dislike anything that wasn’t sunshine, but it would need to be done if she wanted to stay warm at home. It would be a good idea to spruce up her stage, too. Everyone liked a warm and toasty environment, right? Maybe she would even be rich enough one day to give everyone a free scarf when they came to watch a show.

A scarf sounded lovely right about now. That would have to wait, though, since going to the Grassveil markets to look for one at this point in time meant more time in the rain, which in turn meant becoming wetter and colder and possibly unable to fly. That would be positively dreadful. Ariel shook herself again, took a breath and lifted off to search for her grass. At least there was plenty of that around here. Once she’d done her nest, she’d wait for the weather to clear, then work on making her stage warm and inviting, too.

» Link to the original bio: cheep cheep!
» Levels of existing characters: Opal (15)

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Solilo
Head Admin
Solilo

Posts : 5018
Poké : 16200
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 22
Location : Jabberwock Island

Adopting Ariel the Taillow Empty
PostSubject: Re: Adopting Ariel the Taillow   Adopting Ariel the Taillow EmptyMon Sep 30, 2019 6:33 pm

Sorry, your application cannot be approved due to the following reasons:


Pessimistic Optimist? - Insufficient RP Sample

The RP sample starts off well, and you seem to understand Ariel's love for performing, glory and attention. However, Ariel's original bio states that she is 'naturally a very optimistic pokemon' and you spend a large amount of time in your RP sample with her actively being pessimistic. I'll break down a few of the instances I noticed so that it helps you see what im talking about in case you want to try again.

Firstly in the second paragraph, Ariel is practicing alone because her friends had other things to do. This is fine. Feeling sad about being alone is very in character for Ariel according to her dislikes, however the last sentence of this paragraph says this:
Quote :
The little taillow craved attention, and despite their valid excuses, couldn’t help wondering if they’d stopped caring

A naturally optimistic character wouldn't first think that they'd stop caring, despite her dislike of being alone. In my opinion she would probably take their excuses at face value. Even if they were in actuality making up excuses to get out of it, she probably wouldn't realise they were doing so, as Ariel's bio states she is very 'oblivious to others and has difficulty telling other's emotions.' If you had presented other reasons for Ariel to come to this conclusion, then it wouldn't be a problem but the way it's presented here is a conscious line of thought that Ariel is having.

The second example I notice in your RP sample is after the weather turns bad. The rain itself is a good way to portray that she doesn't like the cold, but it's specifically this line that I think doesn't fit Ariel's optimistic character:
Quote :
It was as if universe itself was telling her she was small and insignificant.

If Ariel were said to be someone who tries to think positively or tries to be optimistic, then the former statements would fit well with her character as she actively contradicts that pessimistic thinking with a more optimistic line of thought. But for someone who is 'naturally optimistic' this type of thinking wouldn't be here in the first place for her to actively contradict.

There are a few other examples of similar lines of thinking throughout the RP sample, but I hope these two examples illustrate the idea clearly. If you are still unsure and wish me to elaborate on another example though, let me know and we can do that through Discord or something.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Character Moderators, whether it be through the Chatbox, Private Messaging or Discord. We'll be happy to help.

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