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 Adopting Triona the Espurr

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Frebedor

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Posts : 238
Poké : 1053
Join date : 2018-03-17
Age : 27

PostSubject: Adopting Triona the Espurr   Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:19 pm

» Name: Triona
» Gender: Female
» Species: Espurr (#677 The Restraint Pokèmon)
» Affiliation/Rank: None

» Why do you want to adopt them?: PSYCHIC KITTEH! But in all seriousness, from reading Triona's bio, she seems like an interesting and well-written character. I see similar traits to my own, too, such as preferring quiet and being a night owl. I feel like I can keep this sweetheart going as the unique character she is.

» Sample of roleplay:

Hm… Rainfront Town is such a nice place…

A young espurr enjoyed the view of an evening storm that was currently happening in Rainfront Town, and the pitter-patter of rain on the buildings erected there. From the safety of a covered porch, the young psychic pokemon stared in wide-eyed wonder. There was something about these natural phenomena that had always fascinated her, and although she didn’t like to stay in one place for long, this town was an old favourite she found herself coming back to time and time again. If she ever decided to settle down, it would be here that she would choose to live.

Triona took a small break from watching the storm to glance around. What she saw was a small, quiet town. This pleased her, for although she was not averse to the company of others, a loud, bustling place like Grassveil could be overwhelming. There was no pressure to talk and be cheerful, either. Happiness was a good thing, a wonderful thing, but Triona preferred to stay calm and collected without being judged for it.

As she daydreamed, or eveningdreamed, she supposed it would be called at this time of day, the psychic kitten had a thought: Why not set up a shop right here where she would use her powers? She could help others while being able to stay warm and comfortable. The idea seemed perfect to Triona, who was picturing a nice tent that she could decorate. A fortune tent, to be precise. How to decorate such a place, though? A crystal ball was a must. The espurr wondered where she would find one and if they really held power like she’d heard. Maybe she could get it to alert her when there was a customer? Then she’d be able to travel and run her shop at the same time!

There was just one problem, though. To run a fortune tent, Triona would need to give out fortunes. How was she going to do that? She might grow powerful enough to see into the future one day, but that day was not now. No, another method would have to be employed. Fortune cards, perhaps? That seemed like a more feasible option at this point in time. Yes, cards imbued with psychic power that would do… something. Gee, this wasn’t easy. There was a lot to think about when setting up a storefront.

“Cards… What cards?” she mused quietly to herself. What would these fortune cards of hers do? How much should she charge for her services? Ordinarily, Triona would be overwhelmed by all these complicated-sounding thoughts, a loud clutter in her head, but she was in her element right now with the night and the storm. This espurr was going to run her shop, and it was going to be great. Of this, she was sure. She just had to think of a name for it and choose just the right spot for the tent it would operate from.

» Link to the original bio: Here ya go!
» Levels of existing characters: Opal (10)

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Lord E V
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Posts : 3218
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Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 21
Location : Nibiru

PostSubject: Re: Adopting Triona the Espurr   Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:58 am

Sorry, your application cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) RAINFRONT TOWN

You got Rainfront completely wrong.  While this doesn't exactly have anything to do with your portrayal of the character, it's still a pretty big issue in its own way.  There is a page in the rules section explaining the details of the four town environments, and I would heavily advise you use it as a reference when doing anything with one of the towns.

2.) CHARACTER INCONSISTENCIES

First off, your roleplaying sample focuses on Triona wanting to set up a shop revolving around interacting with people, with an important prerequisite being talking to them.  She isn't talkative by nature, and it doesn't make sense for a curious and adventurous type like her to want to settle down in the first place.  Seriously, her bio emphasizes that she's so quiet an average person will be lucky to get 2 words out of her.  That's not the type of 'mon who wants to run a shop revolving entirely around communicating with people, nor the type who would be any good at it.  There's also a lot of emphasis on her adventurous nature, so this idea of tying herself down makes no sense.  In fact, if she wanted to start a shop, her first choice would probably be something to do with food because she loves food.  It honestly kinda just looks like you had an idea for a fortune teller espurr and are trying to force this character to be that as a means to an end.  Either way though, it's not very accurate.

You also express that she hates socializing and having to emote when in reality, she just doesn't emote.  Her bio says she hates yelling in specific, but beyond that, she doesn't seem to care much about the behavior of others.  She's not talkative, but she doesn't mind listening or being a part of a social situation at all, and she doesn't particularly care about "pressure" (as said in the bio's description of her calm nature, where it's explained that even open hostility doesn't faze her in the slightest).  You're portraying her like some shy girl who doesn't like overwhelming social situations, when in reality she's just not very talkative and otherwise doesn't mind conversation (as long as the other party doesn't mind doing most of the talking and doesn't yell).

3.) ADOPTION REASONING

Based on the roleplaying sample you've provided, it seems like you want to make Triona a shopkeeper, maybe even set up an actual shop on the site with her.  If this wasn't your intention, then it's incredibly misleading, especially since this idea you chose to focus on doesn't really fit the character in the first place.  But if your idea was actually to make her a shopkeeper, then for future reference, something like that needs to go in your reasons for adopting the character.  Be upfront and transparent about why you want to adopt a character and what you plan to do with them.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Character Moderators. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can.

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