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Pokemon Mystery Dungeon RP

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 Raputchin the Deino

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Sunny




Posts : 3
Poké : 0
Join date : 2017-09-15
Location : wrapped in a blanket burrito

Raputchin the Deino Empty
PostSubject: Raputchin the Deino   Raputchin the Deino EmptyMon Sep 18, 2017 6:00 pm

» Name: Raputchin
» Sex: Male
» Species: Deino
» Affiliation: None (Will likely be part of the exploration guild later)

» Level: 5
» Energy: 16
» Ability: Hustle
» Moves:
-Tackle (lv 1)
-Dragon Rage (lv 1)
-Focus Energy (lv 4)
-Dark Pulse (egg move)

» Natural Feats:
-Blind Biter: Deino are blind, so they after often found to tackle or bite to learn more about the area they're in.
-N/A

» Relatives:
-N/A
-N/A

» Personality: (I would recommend reading the history first)
Raputchin is immensely loyal to those who show him kindness, though becomes reliant on them to aid him due to his blindness. He is only talkative when alone with someone who he trusts. This is in part due to nervousness and uncomfortableness in crowds, but also due to his lack of skill with words. He is far more physical than verbal with his affection, carefully nuzzling against his friends and liking to snuggle when he’s sleeping. He’s cold blooded, after all!
When it comes to violence, he'll defend himself if he gets hurt, but is terrified of once again hurting innocent pokemon. He works more easily when working with a partner who can tell him when to use his more powerful moves.

» Likes: Pecha berries, head scratches, clear rules, warm things (sunlight, blankets, other pokemon, fire, etc), powerful scents, familiarity.

» Dislikes: SHARP THINGS, ice type pokemon, those who do not introduce themselves, large crowds, unclear objectives.

» History:
crrrk… crrk.. crRKKK!

WIth those three grating noises and a few frantic wriggles of his head, his world had expanded from a comfortable, albeit tight ovoid to an unending sea of sensations. His lungs filled with clean air for the first time, bringing with it the taste of dusky moss and the stickiness of intense humidity. His nostrils flared, taking in pollen spores and forcing him to sputter out a violent snort.

Oh! He could make the noises, too!

The incredible discovery led him to draw even more air into his lungs fiercely expel it, resulting in a satisfying growl. Something else came out with it, too… He breathed out again, this time putting one of his thick, stubby appendages in front of his face hole. A sudden burning sensation flared up in his foot, and he jerked it back with a sharp cry of pain. The grimace that made its home upon his face, however, was quickly replaced with an awed gape. He was so… so powerful!

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, another, scarier realization took root. He was dangerous.

----------

Raputchin’s egg was laid in a thick, forested mystery dungeon just inside the maw of a cave. He spent several years and gained quite a bit of experience in the mystery dungeon of his birth, learning to navigate its ever-changing landscape entirely without sight. One day, however, he realized that something felt entirely… off. The atmosphere, the smell, the very earth that he walked on felt new and unfamiliar.

He had exited the mystery dungeon.

He ended up near a small town, whose inhabitants initially terrified him. He didn’t understand their strange sounds; he didn’t like their close proximity, and attacked and badly hurt the first few that attempted to approach him. A more powerful pokemon, however, was alerted to his presence and quickly took him down.

He lived with the elderly town sheriff for quite some time, on the off chance that his feral instincts acted up again, but he ended up realizing that the townsfolk were very friendly. He spent his days learning to speak and sticking to the sheriff’s side like glue. They became fast allies and worked together well, despite the difficulty communicating. He left the fighting to the sheriff. He was terrified that he might hurt an undeserving civilian again.

When the old sheriff moved to live back with his children due to his age, Raputchin felt a bit lost. He set to wandering once more.

...and then he discovered the exploration guild.

» Other: May be more later, nothing now.
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Lord E V
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Lord E V


Posts : 3440
Poké : 9495
Join date : 2014-07-12
Location : Nibiru

Raputchin the Deino Empty
PostSubject: Re: Raputchin the Deino   Raputchin the Deino EmptyWed Sep 20, 2017 10:26 pm

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) SPECIES

Include the species title and Pokédex number.

2.) NATURAL FEATS

Add a feat for your character's ability.

3.) LIKES/DISLIKES

Give descriptions/explanations for each like and dislike. It doesn't have to be anything lengthy.

4.) HISTORY

This history is very rushed, especially in the first section. He figures out how to use his strongest attack, decides he's powerful, and concludes that he's dangerous and scared of himself, all within seconds of hatching. It's ridiculous for a newborn to be figuring things out that quickly, even if he's a pokémon. It also makes little sense why a sheriff would take this wild child in and even let him help do his job, all for no apparent reason; even worse, the sheriff then abandons him upon retiring? This history has a lot of issues, and it seems to stem mostly from how rushed it is.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Character Moderators. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.
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