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 Mayline, the Mawile

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Futakushi

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Posts : 11
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Join date : 2017-06-03
Age : 19

PostSubject: Mayline, the Mawile   Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:39 am

» Name: Mayline
» Sex: Female
» Gender: Female
» Species: #303, Mawile, the Deceiver Pokemon
» Affiliation: Wanderer

» Level: 5
» Energy: 19
» Ability: Sheer Force
» Moves:
- Ice Fang (Egg move)
- Iron Head (Level 1)
- Play Rough (Level 1)
- Fake Tears (Level 5)

» Natural Feats:
- Alluring Face: Mawile has a docile-looking face which can be used to lull foes in letting down their guard. It can also be used to try to captivate others
-  Steel Jaws: Mawile's horns are very sturdy and they can even break through steel. It uses them to smash obstacles or to deliver vicious attacks to its enemies.
-Sheer Force: The Deceiver Pokemon is filled with determination for power. Thus, it never feels intimidated and always strikes at full strength.

» Relatives: N/A

» Personality: From the very beginning, Mayline made it obvious she preferred solidarity over socialising; this applies even up to now, more than ever. She is not one to approach other Pokemon, instead she avoids them, unless it is necessary. She faces a hard time trusting others and this often leads her to strike an impression as aggressive. If this leads to an argument, Mayline is more than willing to solve the matter with a fight. In loss, she turns furious and isolates herself again, while in victory she feels genuine happiness again. Finally, as she relies on herself for survival, she is very crafty (for example, she uses leaves to store water from the rain and the feathers bird Pokemon drop as a blanket).

» Likes:

- Strength. To Mayline's eyes, only the strong survive and prevail. Which is why she spends large quantities of time training, hoping one day to become a force to be reckoned with.

- Berries. Despite her sturdy attributes, Mayline has a soft spot for berries. It is a secret that she loves them.

- Wandering. Mayline is not one to remain in one place for longer that several days. Because she wishes to gain experience and develop her power, she travels frequently in hopes of achieving improvement, finding berries and collecting information that may be useful for her own personal mission.

» Dislikes:

- Weakness. Mayline despises the Pokemon unable to defend themselves and whose fighting skills are insufficient; she is not very strong either, yet she refuses to confess so. She refuses to attack weaker Pokemon, however.

- Fire. Due to her memories of the past, Mayline is terrified of fire. At just the sight of it, she will be unable to control herself and seek shelter in fear. Thus, she evades fire pokemon at all costs.

- (Over)friendly Pokemon. Mayline, as mentioned, enjoys solitude and considers her personal space important. She does not appreciate those who bother her with unnecessary kindness and most importantly, clinginess.

» History:

 There was once, not so long ago, a small tribe of Mawiles that lived peacefully in the woods. A tribe of perhaps thirty or so who always remained united in hopes of survival, organised with strict rules and under the leadership of one specific female Mawile, Kira, mother to the young Mayline. They were nomads, usually peaceful, they only ever ventured in the town to sell the goodies they collected and buy what they required.

 The life in the tribe was not complicated by any means: Everyone contributed to their best of their abilities, without any exception. The strong ones defended the rest, the weak scouted for supplies, the elderly provided advice, and the youth attempted to adapt to their fitting role. Mayline herself, even though she had shown an interest for fighting from a very early stage in her life, was prohibited by Kira to join the vanguard; her mate had suffered the loss of his life during the attack of a group of Houndoors. The mother instead, to protect her offspring, forced her Mayline to join the scouting team and aid the tribe as such. Mayline could only accept her orders and comply, and from that day and on, her relationship with Kira went to ruins, anger and bitterness stored within. The scouting team consisted of twelve Mawiles, the least capable of fighting, with the objective of collecting as much of the berries and seeds as possible. Mayline never cooperated well with her team, as she often abandoned them for the sake of fighting -- or rather, pretending to fight, as she was in fact doing no more than bite into trees and headbutt them, considering them to be enemies. Kira always punished Mayline strictly for this hobby, yet she never managed to cease the hunger inside Mayline.

 One day, soon after she had sneaked off to exercise her favourite sport, Mayline was shocked to notice an injured Houndoor enter her training space. Bewildered by the opportunity to have an actual fight, Mayline did not hesitate to assault the Houndoor. The fight was harsh and it lasted long, with the victor surprisingly being Mayline; the Houndoor had been weakened from a wound on its back from a previous fight and it eventually exhausted itself. An experienced Pokemon could have finished the fight swiftly, though Mayline, being an amateur, struggled, and her right arm suffered a violent burn as a prize. Full of pride and drunk in glory, right after the Houndoor had fled in defeat, Mayline rushed to her team's meeting point, hoping to speak to them about her encounter, to her surprise to find no one. Hours went by, as she waited (im)patiently, until she decided to return to the tribe, furious for having been left behind.

 When she did return, her life changed in a way she could have never imagined. The little safe eutopia Kira had built was now nothing but ashes, her vision had faded away. The tribe's territory was ashes, their supplies were ashes, and the Mawiles had long passed away, all of them burned, ensuring they had a slow and painful end. Mayline, terrified for her safety and the fate of her people, sought out her mother, but as soon as she called her name, she bore witness to the powerful leader's fall before the feet of a grand Houndoom. Devastated, Mayline burst into her sorrow and grief, next to her mother's corpse, unable to fight back and attempt to avenge what had been lost. Guiltiness washed over her, like a tidal wave crushing her for good, regret, if only she did not fight the accursed Houndoor, if only she was there to fight until the end, next to Kira, prove to her mother she is strong. She met the Houndoom's wicked eyes, as it smirked down on her. It spared her life, it knew the prey would seek them out soon, and it would enjoy that. It turned to leave alongside with its Houndoors, claiming they had extracted vengeance for their deceased member, the one Mayline had fought earlier that day.

 It was about after a few days that Mayline finally decided to depart from her old territory. Despite her days with mother were not close to lovely and joyful, her mother was the one she loved and admired above all, and to be left alone in such a way was sheer pain. Hungry and exhausted, she travelled deeper into the woods and used the techniques she had learned from the scouting team to feed herself, to survive. After she had mourned enough to relieve her agony, she decided there is one thing and one thing only left to do: Destroy the Houndoom's group. For that, she had to grow strong, to finally flourish her potential. She would not sit back and cry ever again.

» Other: Her right arm was permanently damaged by the Houndoor's flames, so it is covered with burn scars.

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Ampharos Strike fast, like thunder in the sky~ Ampharos


Last edited by Futakushi on Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:13 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Lord E V
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Posts : 3131
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Age : 20
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PostSubject: Re: Mayline, the Mawile   Sun Jun 04, 2017 8:38 pm

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) MOVES

There are technically no problems here, but you've only given your character two moves. Mawile gets a plethora of moves at level 1 and has an impressive pool of potential egg moves. Your character is not required to have a parent of a particular species in order to get an egg move (it can just be inherited from someone more distant), so you're free to pick any one egg move you want. And you can have more than a single level 1 move, so for instance, you could add Iron Head. Also, if your character is intended to value strength so highly, why give her Fairy Wind over Play Rough? The latter would be much stronger for a mawile (and in general). On that same note, I'd suggest considering Sheer Force as an ability as well (your character can have a hidden ability), since it provides raw power which you seem to be going for as a character theme.

2.) NATURAL FEATS

...Nothing about the giant steel horns shaped like a mouth? I feel like being able to "bite" through metal with your horns is a noteworthy feat.

3.) PERSONALITY

The personality is actually fine, but it seems a bit bare, as if rushed. I would suggest elaborating a bit on it, for your own sake. You can get a dull character application approved, but you'll regret it later.

4.) HISTORY

Your character's burn scar is described as being rather extensive, yet she received it in a fight that was supposedly "easy." That's a pretty bad injury for an easy fight. Also, the fight itself is pretty much just glossed over and doesn't really seem to play a particularly large role. It seems like that's in there solely to give her an edgy scar, but a scar like that should really have a bit more meaning to it. Trust me: you'll like it more if you give more depth to it. Perhaps have the fight be difficult despite the houndour being injured; have it take a while and make her feel like perhaps she could have done something to help her tribe if she weren't too busy feeding her ego. Then the scar would be a constant reminder of a mistake and her weakness, which would contribute to what you appear to be going for.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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Futakushi

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Posts : 11
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PostSubject: Re: Mayline, the Mawile   Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:18 pm

Thanks for the advice, you made some great points and they were very helpful. I think I have corrected my mistakes now!

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Lord E V
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Posts : 3131
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Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 20
Location : Nibiru

PostSubject: Re: Mayline, the Mawile   Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:28 pm

Character has been approved!



Please head over HERE to create your Character Records.  Once you've completed that, go have fun and roleplay!

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Welcome To The End:
 

Character Records

Is it my post in our thread?  Wanna start a thread with me?  Hit me up HERE

Oh yeah, and I dabble in pixel art.  If you're interested, check out my shop.

>And now for a bit about myself.<
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