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 Shade Nightfall - Froakie

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NickWithAShotgun



Posts : 1
Poké : 0
Join date : 2017-02-17

PostSubject: Shade Nightfall - Froakie   Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:00 pm

» Name: Shade Nightfall
» Sex: Female
» Gender: Female
» Species: #656 Froakie - the Bubble Frog Pokemon
» Affiliation: None with hopes of joining a guild.

» Level: 5
» Energy: 19
» Ability: Torrent
» Moves:
- Pound (lvl 1)
- Growl (lvl 1)
- Bubble (lvl 5)
-

» Natural Feats:
- Her ability alows her to gather up some nearby water to improve her water-type attacks.
- Frubbles: This pokemon secretes bubbles from its chest and back. These bubbles reduce the damage it would otherwise have taken when attacked.

» Personality: Shade is a sarcastic and sometimes ignorant character. Most see her as a headstrong and arrogant kind of Froakie, not that she cares. When she makes friends, they stay with her and she will risk herself for those who have enough of her trust, which is hard to gain from her stubborness.

» Likes: Projectile weapons since she hates others being in close proximity to her. Exploration because she wants to see everything in the world, even the dangerous parts. Battling as it shows her some potential stragies for use in the future.

» Dislikes: Being spied on since she always gets uncomfortable if someone is watching her without her knowing. Distractions becuase being lead from the main objective makes her annoyed. Waiting as she is normaly desperate to have an adventure in any way possible.

» History: Shade's history is not well know to her, but most cruical points are still intact. She knows that she used to live happily with her parents. The turning point was Shade's fear of darkness when she went with her father in the night. She fled at that point and other memories are cludy and broken, but her fear has dissapeared and she is a confident girl.

» Other: Her memories are scarmbled badly and most details are hard for her to remember.
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Lord E V
Head Secretary & Lord of the Eevees
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Posts : 3204
Poké : 853
Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 21
Location : Nibiru

PostSubject: Re: Shade Nightfall - Froakie   Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:48 am

Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:



1.) MOVES

No egg move? It's your choice if you don't want one, but I figured I should point it out just in case.

2.) NATURAL FEATS

That's not what Torrent does. Torrent increases the power of water-type moves when weakened. That's all that should be said there.

3.) PERSONALITY

"Most see her as a headstrong and arrogant kind of Froakie..."

The wording of this sentence is an issue. It's worded as a statement of fact when in reality, you have no clue how most other characters will view yours. Change the wording.

"When she makes friends, they stay with her..."

Same issue.

4.) LIKES

You mention that she hates having others in close proximity to her, yet this doesn't seem to be mentioned in her dislikes or even in her personality. This also needs to be elaborated on; does she dislike others being in her personal space, or does she simply have a preference for distance in a fight?

5.) DISLIKES

How does she get uncomfortable over someone watching her if she doesn't know they're watching her? She's not a psychic (nor a psychic-type).

6.) HISTORY

No.

This is your character's biography, not her memories. Amnesiac or not, she must have a proper history. You're writing a bio about her, not as her. Explain this history in a proper manner, give all noteworthy details about her past, and be elaborate.


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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