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 Machintosh the Shuckle

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Macky

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Posts : 1
Poké : 0
Join date : 2016-05-15

PostSubject: Machintosh the Shuckle   Tue Jun 07, 2016 6:35 pm

» Name: Machintosh
» Sex: Male
» Gender: Male
» Species: National Pokedex #213 - Shuckle, the Mold Pokemon
» Affiliation: Merchant

» Level: 5
» Energy: 20 BE (Base Stat Total of 505) + 5 LE (Level 5) = 25 TE (Total Combined Energy)
» Ability: Gluttony (Macky can eat and store a lot more berries than usual in his shell)
» Moves: 
- Withdraw (Starting Move)

- Sticky Web (Starting Move)
- Bide (Starting Move)
- Acid (Egg Move)

» Natural Feats: 
- Corrosive Liquid: A Shuckle can produce and cover his true body (not counting his shell) in a corrosive liquid. That liquid can't hurt other Pokemon (with the exception of the move Acid) but can be used to carve holes into rocks to hide himself in.
- Shell: Shuckle's shell is sturdy enough to be considered indestructible by some, however he can't close the holes from which his head and tentacles stick out, making him still vulnerable to a good amount of moves. Mostly, the shell is used to store berries inside which, after some time, ferment and turn into Berry Juice and after more time into more alcoholic liquids, most prominently wine.

» Personality: Machintosh, Macky or Mac for short, is the easygoing kind of dude. Naturally to a Shuckle, he is neither the fastest nor does he really care that almost everyone is faster than him and he tends to go at his own speed. With that attitude in mind, he also looks at everything in his calm, relaxed mindset. He isn't one to really get angry at anyone and prefers to just chill. Maybe it's also because of the wine he sometimes tend to keep in his shell that gives him that kind of carefree, maybe even slightly drunk, attitude. Whatever it is, he's fine with everyone, whether they are police or outlaws, wanderers or shopkeepers. He might not be the most responsive Pokemon but he is for sure the one buddy few could shoo away.

» Likes: 

- Chilling around: Since Mac is pretty slow, he likes to just chill and lazy around most of the time, moving only when he really needs to be somewhere or when he tries to follow someone around. It's also his simple nature that keeps him from being all too hasty.
- Collecting Berries: He loves the smell and taste of berries, all of them, and just likes having those around in his shell. But since he has no teeth and is pretty soft, he stores them until they are turned into juice before drinking them inside his shell.
- Shady Places (literally): When it comes to the perfect place to chill, he can immediately drop an answer. A place where can rest away from the sunlight, like a pretty thick canopy or a building that gives a great cooling shadow for Macky. Of course, it might come to misunderstandings when he simply says shady places but after a quick explanation, most Pokemon understand.



» Dislikes:

- Being Pushed Around: While he doesn't mind going out of his way if he is in the way of someone, or helping them, he doesn't like it when others are urging him to do something, and to do it fast. It's not like him and he will make his point clear.
- Annoying Pokemon: Well, there have been times where other Pokemon, feral or not, tried to get him out of his shell, pecking or hacking at it in feeble attempts to crack it open. Or when others are interrupting his "MacinTime", basically just sitting around and enjoying his surroundings, it kinda sets him off. Then again, because Macky is who he is, it won't be too furious, just some attempts to shoo the Pokemon away or just retreating into his shell until they leave.
- Deep Lakes: While he doesn't mind sitting a considerable distance away from it, he has a hidden fear of deep bodies of water since he can't swim and the shell that protects his soft body is pretty heavy and would pull him to the bottom, effectively leaving him to drown.

» History: His past is, compared to some, pretty ordinary. Born as the only child of his two parents, he was cared for deeply. After a few years, they encouraged him to move on and discover the world, at his own pace mind you. Not seeing much reason to object, he left his family and started his journey, discovering his tendency towards berries but unlike most, he simply loved all the berries. The different smells and their tastes made him ponder on what he should do in his life and before long he got his idea, using his natural talents he would sell the juice he made to share his love of berries with everyone who wants some. Now he became less of a shop owner and more of a wandering merchant, travelling to find and use all kinds of berries not brought to him by his customers.

» Other: He wears a brown stetson fitting the size of his small head. It has no effect whatsoever except from shading his eyes from the sun, like most hats do.
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Lord E V
Head Secretary & Lord of the Eevees
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Posts : 3204
Poké : 853
Join date : 2014-07-12
Age : 21
Location : Nibiru

PostSubject: Re: Machintosh the Shuckle   Fri Jun 10, 2016 2:22 pm


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) "MERCHANT"

Get the whole "Traveling Merchant" thing passed by an admin if you haven't already.  It seems fine, but just to be sure, check with them about having a character so close to a shopkeeper who isn't really a shopkeeper.

2.) ABILITY

That is not at all what Gluttony does.  Gluttony makes pokemon eat with less restraint; it has no relevance to how much food your shuckle can store in his shell.  By all means, have him have a big shell and be a berry hoarder, but that doesn't belong in the description of your chosen ability.

3.) NATURAL FEATS

Shuckle's shell is never described as "indestructible."  It is merely called "hard" in its Pokedex entries.  Please avoid adding on extra information that isn't explicitly stated by a reputable source.  Also avoid adding needless information, i.e. the part about the holes being a weakness and the mention of alcohol.  While these are completely logical, they are not stated in the Pokedex entries and thus do not belong in the natural feats.  Also, add a feat for your chosen ability.

4.) PERSONALITY

You basically just stretched the word "chill" into a short paragraph.  Try to flesh the character out a bit more.  Is he really just a hyper-relaxed drunk who has virtually no personality?  I know alcoholism has some effects on the mind, but c'mon...


If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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