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 Alaton the Gastly

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PostSubject: Alaton the Gastly   Mon Apr 11, 2016 5:19 pm

» Name: Alaton
» Sex: male
» Gender: male
» Species: #092 – Gastly, the Gas Pokemon
» Affiliation: Wanderer

» Level: 5
» Energy: 19 (BE: 14 + lvl:5)
» Ability: Levitate
» Moves:
- Psywave (egg)
- Hypnosis (lvl 1)
- Lick (lvl 1)
- Spite (lvl 5)

» Natural Feats:
- Alaton body is made out of poisonous gas when another Pokemon is in this gas it begins suffocating
- Alaton is able to pass through solid objects but it can be blown away by strong winds.

» Personality:
Alaton had lost a lot of his personality. When he was younger he was a happy life loving Pokemon with a sense of humour. But then when his only friend died he retreated back into himself. He became frozen on the inside not being able to do many things except surviving. He wasn’t able to laugh anymore and fell into a depression.
*live your dreams and don’t waste them* was something Ralts always said but it was easier said than done. Alaton had no dreams he never thought about it. Yes he lost his parents but managed to find a new family. He was too young to think about what he wanted in live. One thing he always wanted to do was visit special places with Ralts, but when your only dream died what would you do. Find a new one but when you weren’t able to do this, too weak,…

» Likes:
- the night, watching the night sky and stars seeing pictures in the stars was something he did with Ralts often.
- Ralts’s grave, which he is still guarding
- His new family, they are his true parents even if they are not his real ones.

» Dislikes:
- the wind, it is a danger to Alaton, because it can blow him away.
- His poisonous gas body, it nearly destroyed his family and nearly killed Ralts
- Pokemon who don’t respect the dead

» History:
When Alaton hatched he found himself alone in the woods. He didn’t know what happened to his parents, but got lucky. A little Ralts and her family found him and took him in. Maybe it was a strange family but a nice one. He was loved by his new parents and together they lived a good life.
Then it happened while playing Ralts got caught in Alaton’s poisonous gasbody and nearly suffocated. It was an accident and both of them knew, but it still put a lot of strain on the little family. Alaton was alone once he wouldn’t have survived losing his family again. Still a few things changed the two calmed down instead of playing and running around they enjoyed things like watching the night sky. They started to learn a lot about survival, because Ralts dream was to go on an adventure with her best friend and brother. Fate had other plans Ralts got unrecoverable ill. She lost strength every passing day till she faded to the afterlife. It left Alaton and his parents broken. They dind’t know what to do anymore. They tried to build a new life but it didn’t work. Alaton couldn’t let go and started spending every minute of his time at her grave guarding it from everything and imagining his friend at his while gazing into the night sky. His parents tried to help him but were too broken themselves to be of any real help. They visited the grave often and were the only company Alaton had at that times. They were still a family that loved each other but Ralts left ab big in their hearts. They knew they had all to get away to let the wound heal and to begin a new and happy life but something was holding them back and binding them. They couldn’t shake it off. …

» Other: -//-


Last edited by Aition on Wed Apr 13, 2016 8:11 pm; edited 3 times in total
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FoxFireAlchemist
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PostSubject: Re: Alaton the Gastly   Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:39 pm


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) NATURAL FEAT: The natural feat you have described is more of an adaptation exhibited by your character, and should be described in the character's history section. Natural Feats are abilities exhibited by all pokemon of this particular species, for example, how Vaporeon can melt into water. Please refer to Riolu's pokedex entries to discern it's natural feats.

2.) AURA SIGHT: A Riolu's aura capabilities are far exceeded by the ability you've described. It would be able to "feel" the shape of the aura of things near it, like feeling a field that gets stronger as you walk closer to it. Riolu is not yet developed enough to be able to achieve actual "sight," however.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

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Å͙͍̳̣͙͕̎b̵͉͔̺̱͍̹̼̋̈a̧̯̱͓̝̰n̟̖̈́ͯd̡̫͇̤̙̹̻̈õ̶͙̆́ͨ̀̃ͥn̟̖̪͍̤̋ͅ ̜̦̠̔̾á̛͖͎̥͎̭͑̽ļ̭͎͙͕̗̽ͯ̅l̩ ̢͖̲͎̤̲ͤͭ̈͛̑̃ḧͩͦ̆ͣ͏̤̭̱̳̮o̫̦̱͇͂ͨp̴̱eͥ̐̍͛ͥ,͍͔̼̜̜͇ ̙͙͂ͪ̇ͭ̎͝y̴̬̒͌͑ͅe̹̟͍͓ ̥̈́͜w͈̝̞̦̘͖̯͗ͤ̊̿ͣ͒ḧ̨͂͊̅̆o̫̜̰ͣ̅̎̊̈̍́ ̴̠̺ͩ͆ͫͣͭͤ̓ͅe̡̳̩̟͓ñ̥̥̹̜t͔̩̜̃ͦ̋ͣė͙̳̯̣̼̈́ͅr̿̓́ ̈͑҉̫̘̠̱͎̰T̵̘̘̗̺͓͍̦ͤ̒̇ͮH̰̺̰̲̦̖͖͚́̄ͮ̋͝Ệ̫͕͂͝ ̢̹͔͖̗̟̣̬͖̔ͯ̑̽C̫̯͓̥͎͌̓ͬ́ͤ͋̾ͭ̚̕͝Ű̮̟̖̝͙̉ͬ̇R̰̣̰͐͛̀̾̂̊͂̚͢͟͞Ṛ̻̟̱̥̗͎̜̓̊͑̄̊͢E̢̖̬̫̤ͦ̇́͑̓̍̎N̵̮̺̬̣͇͚ͧ̅̀͞T͕̹͕͓̝͕̀ͧͭͤ̍ͪ͟ ̱͍̬̘̖̄ͯͬ͑͊ͣͥͦ͘͢͢P̢͓͓͕̦͎̝̮͛ͪͅL̢̬͔͚̦͚̮̒̆͗͛O̸̧̟̻̞ͣ͊ͮ̏T̺̻͖̲̞́ͬ͐̒ͤ̿̀

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PostSubject: Re: Alaton the Gastly   Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:50 pm

so new pokemon new concept ....
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FoxFireAlchemist
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Join date : 2012-07-29
Age : 22
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PostSubject: Re: Alaton the Gastly   Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:44 pm


Sorry, your Character Bio cannot be approved due to the following reasons:

1.) CLASSIFICATION: You're missing your character's classification; you have to include it along with the pokedex number. IE: #001 Bulbasaur The Seed Pokemon

2.) MOVES: Gosh darn it you keep doing things I have to give you formal warnings for /SHOT
Your moves are incorrect, a Ghastly should have one more move at the level its at. Check Serebii's XY/ORAS pokedex for reference if you haven't as that's what the site in it's entirety references. Now, onto the formal warning. You haven't chosen an egg move. You are allowed to have one egg move at the start if you so choose, but it is optional. You don't have to pick one, but you're choosing to miss out if you don't.

3.) NATURAL FEATS: The natural feat "He can form tangible hands out of his gasses" cannot be used. I went through every pokedex entry and I found no evidence to support this; in fact, this pokedex entry, "Its body is made of gas. Despite lacking substance, it can envelop an opponent of any size and cause suffocation," debunks that feat as it implies that Ghastly is intangible in it's entirety, which means forming something tangible out of their hands is something no Ghastly can do on their own. Perhaps with the aid of an ice type move, but not on their own. ADDITIONAL NOTE: If this is something you saw happen in the anime (which I personally don't watch /SHOT), please be aware that the anime is not an acceptable source here. Nor is the manga.

4.) CHANGE OF CHARACTER SPECIES: Again, this is just another formal warning, but please be sure you are truly happy with the species change because you CANNOT change after approval and Riolu is VERY popular site. I'll be completely honest with you, there's only two slots left before they're banned and those can get filled quickly. Just keep that in mind.

5.) SIDE NOTE: This might but just a personal thing, but I'm a bit leery about your history. I'm not sure that that family would have been so quick to abandon Alaton if they had such a happy bond going on, even I wouldn't recommend the orphan route to you, either, as the site has been ENTIRELY overrun with them and on the whole we've typically stopped approving them unless the reasoning is good so that this site doesn't turn into an orphanage. There was once even a ban on that particular character type, though it has been lifted and now we're just policing it carefully. Alaton having a surrogate family is completely acceptable and I like the concept! It just doesn't seem likely that that surrogate family would just dump a resourceless child that they know is without another means of care because they adopted him in the first place, unless the reasoning is flawless.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message any of the Secretaries. May it be through the Chatbox or through Private Messaging, we will tend to your concerns as soon as we can. Please fix your bio accordingly so that we may be able to approve it. Once you have completed your edits, either bump this thread or message us.

_________________




Å͙͍̳̣͙͕̎b̵͉͔̺̱͍̹̼̋̈a̧̯̱͓̝̰n̟̖̈́ͯd̡̫͇̤̙̹̻̈õ̶͙̆́ͨ̀̃ͥn̟̖̪͍̤̋ͅ ̜̦̠̔̾á̛͖͎̥͎̭͑̽ļ̭͎͙͕̗̽ͯ̅l̩ ̢͖̲͎̤̲ͤͭ̈͛̑̃ḧͩͦ̆ͣ͏̤̭̱̳̮o̫̦̱͇͂ͨp̴̱eͥ̐̍͛ͥ,͍͔̼̜̜͇ ̙͙͂ͪ̇ͭ̎͝y̴̬̒͌͑ͅe̹̟͍͓ ̥̈́͜w͈̝̞̦̘͖̯͗ͤ̊̿ͣ͒ḧ̨͂͊̅̆o̫̜̰ͣ̅̎̊̈̍́ ̴̠̺ͩ͆ͫͣͭͤ̓ͅe̡̳̩̟͓ñ̥̥̹̜t͔̩̜̃ͦ̋ͣė͙̳̯̣̼̈́ͅr̿̓́ ̈͑҉̫̘̠̱͎̰T̵̘̘̗̺͓͍̦ͤ̒̇ͮH̰̺̰̲̦̖͖͚́̄ͮ̋͝Ệ̫͕͂͝ ̢̹͔͖̗̟̣̬͖̔ͯ̑̽C̫̯͓̥͎͌̓ͬ́ͤ͋̾ͭ̚̕͝Ű̮̟̖̝͙̉ͬ̇R̰̣̰͐͛̀̾̂̊͂̚͢͟͞Ṛ̻̟̱̥̗͎̜̓̊͑̄̊͢E̢̖̬̫̤ͦ̇́͑̓̍̎N̵̮̺̬̣͇͚ͧ̅̀͞T͕̹͕͓̝͕̀ͧͭͤ̍ͪ͟ ̱͍̬̘̖̄ͯͬ͑͊ͣͥͦ͘͢͢P̢͓͓͕̦͎̝̮͛ͪͅL̢̬͔͚̦͚̮̒̆͗͛O̸̧̟̻̞ͣ͊ͮ̏T̺̻͖̲̞́ͬ͐̒ͤ̿̀

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PostSubject: Re: Alaton the Gastly   Wed Apr 13, 2016 8:10 pm

It always is a bit depressing when the critique to an application seems longer than the application ….
Hope I got all of the things:
1. done
2. you are right changed it
3. discussed it in chat -> done
4. yes I am sure (I don’t know which Pokemon is take how often but I am one to not play multiple characters, because I want to dedicate all the time to one. I had that concept for Riolu and I don’t think I would have been happy to play it if I had to change it. Hope the concept for Gastly is okay like this)
5. you are right again o.o changed it and the likes/dislikes/personality a bit to fit the new story.

Hope it sounds better like this :)
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FoxFireAlchemist
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PostSubject: Re: Alaton the Gastly   Fri Apr 15, 2016 9:08 pm




Character has been APPROVED!
Please head over HERE to create your Character Records.
Once you've completed that, go have fun and roleplay!


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Å͙͍̳̣͙͕̎b̵͉͔̺̱͍̹̼̋̈a̧̯̱͓̝̰n̟̖̈́ͯd̡̫͇̤̙̹̻̈õ̶͙̆́ͨ̀̃ͥn̟̖̪͍̤̋ͅ ̜̦̠̔̾á̛͖͎̥͎̭͑̽ļ̭͎͙͕̗̽ͯ̅l̩ ̢͖̲͎̤̲ͤͭ̈͛̑̃ḧͩͦ̆ͣ͏̤̭̱̳̮o̫̦̱͇͂ͨp̴̱eͥ̐̍͛ͥ,͍͔̼̜̜͇ ̙͙͂ͪ̇ͭ̎͝y̴̬̒͌͑ͅe̹̟͍͓ ̥̈́͜w͈̝̞̦̘͖̯͗ͤ̊̿ͣ͒ḧ̨͂͊̅̆o̫̜̰ͣ̅̎̊̈̍́ ̴̠̺ͩ͆ͫͣͭͤ̓ͅe̡̳̩̟͓ñ̥̥̹̜t͔̩̜̃ͦ̋ͣė͙̳̯̣̼̈́ͅr̿̓́ ̈͑҉̫̘̠̱͎̰T̵̘̘̗̺͓͍̦ͤ̒̇ͮH̰̺̰̲̦̖͖͚́̄ͮ̋͝Ệ̫͕͂͝ ̢̹͔͖̗̟̣̬͖̔ͯ̑̽C̫̯͓̥͎͌̓ͬ́ͤ͋̾ͭ̚̕͝Ű̮̟̖̝͙̉ͬ̇R̰̣̰͐͛̀̾̂̊͂̚͢͟͞Ṛ̻̟̱̥̗͎̜̓̊͑̄̊͢E̢̖̬̫̤ͦ̇́͑̓̍̎N̵̮̺̬̣͇͚ͧ̅̀͞T͕̹͕͓̝͕̀ͧͭͤ̍ͪ͟ ̱͍̬̘̖̄ͯͬ͑͊ͣͥͦ͘͢͢P̢͓͓͕̦͎̝̮͛ͪͅL̢̬͔͚̦͚̮̒̆͗͛O̸̧̟̻̞ͣ͊ͮ̏T̺̻͖̲̞́ͬ͐̒ͤ̿̀

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